i had 4 hot flashes between 6am when i woke up and 730am and approximately 5-7 at work and more last night. it was a high level Hot flash day. the feeling of dried sweat constantly on your body, or that prickly feeling is unpleasant. i can take a shower and dry off and be wet again from sweat, like i walked out the shower without toweling off
the herbs arent helping, I cranked two tylenol PM last night and was up three times. when i sleep i slept deeply, now i have to stay asleep..i wake right before the flash starts to i wake to the full force of the hot flash
10 more years of this
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talking to amy, i reported my issue of Rollingstone and Organic Style both arrived on the same day yesterday.... she said that was random
it got me thinking, for many years my career, my life was planned out... all the steps.. if i could not accomplish it, it seemed that i was sent on the path
not going to brandeis but going to salem state by accident lead me to a BSW and Lynn DSS not a degree in Jewish Communal Services... I went to NYU on a bet, not BU or Columbia which lead me to Mental health and children and adolescents which lead me to
St josephs because i was comfortable with my DSS work
my path planned.... some of those plans just didnt happen..
my therapist did allow me to dwell too much on things that JUST didnt occur...she said
sometimes the cards just dont unfold that way..
i am not sure that i was ready to deal with those issues, maybe those were countertranserance issues for her...but maybe that was the point...there is nothing to talk about, mourn over, cry about.. things didnt happen has planned
for the last 5 years, since i left ST josephs... things have no been planned
they are random, my asking about teaching was random, and i sent my resume...i got the adjunct job
many good things have come to me in random ways...
so i am living in the random right now
plans are weekly, monthly, 6 months...
so amy....
my life is a series of Random..things events people
until i make up my mind to do something different...ill keep floating in the random
my path is not planned
