since thursday, my TV has been alternating documentaries on 9-11 and hurricane related events... there have been some interesting looks at the world trade center events. It amazes me HOW much i forgot or how many thing about that time that are slippin from my memory. these shows are bringing back the images and sounds and sights from that time 4 years ago.
i remember being home that day, calling elynor, watching TV, being pulled from teh TV to go to work on 9-12 and visiting fire department stations and Union Square on Rosh Hashanah to pay my respects. I remember when the number of dead didnt quite meet the expectations and the clean up . I remember the smoldering of the site as i went over the verrazano bridge and 12 hours to get back to NY from Virginia. I remember the aborted landscape which still hasnt been repaired. I remember the pictures of people daily in the paper, the stories that were in streets, in my ears, and continue to be told. i remember the feelings, the feelings of 9-11 past, candle light and concert events, fundraisers and ALL THOSE AMERICAN FLAGS...
Sounds like i should break out the Paxil or zoloft... i tried shopping and a movie
(i saw music inside out)Music From the Inside Out'; 'Make It Funky!'
by R. Emmet Sweeney
September 6th, 2005 5:48 PM
Click Me!
Music From the Inside Out
Directed by Daniel Anker
Emerging, opens September 9, Cinema Village
What is music? Various members of the Philadelphia Orchestra respond with stutters and groans, finally admitting that it can only be felt, not verbalized. From that humble start, Music From the Inside Out follows the group during an international tour, giving an anecdotal sketch of life as a classical musician. Performance is elided in favor of the personal, as the subjects detail their escape into the freedoms of Latin jazz and bluegrass and ponder melody's inherence in memory. The film is a revealing portrait of painfully withdrawn artists navigating the tug between the divine harmony of an orchestral synthesis and the sweaty glow of individual experimentation. The ovation they give a Cologne street accordionist's version of The Four Seasons has them leaning toward the latter.
THEN a trip to the green market and ..
so i called my hairdresser and told her i needed to "get cleaned UP". she had two slots...Sunday at 10 or sunday at 230...well 10 would keep me out of Lower Manhattan (where i had no business anyway) and 230 would keep me glued to the TV watching the ceremony from Lower Manhattan...so i chose 10...
i got in my car as the bells of the churches were ringing to commemorate the events of 4 years ago.. NPR didnt not have the siblings reading names this morning, neither did WFUV.. but i found it on some local station..
i listened to the accents that represented 83 counties.. I recognized the NYC accents and could distinguish.. brooklyn from Queens from Long Island ( if you hang around here you would too) and suddently a massachusetts accent, british, irish..west indian, africian, south asian.... i listen to them all..
i see lots of firetrucks moving today or maybe i am more aware of them today... are there always lines to get in the cemertaries on sundays... i dont know.. i am not on those roads on sundays, they are the roads i take M-F on my way to and from work. More people in car crying. i am thinking.. these are 9-11 visitors at the cemetaries or maybe i am reading too much into their visits..
i return to my car, a new blonde again, and the names are still being read...left the car at "D" with all the moments of silence conducted and back in at "W"...the names continue, the messages to heaven continue..
a walk to the park, nature is healing, i thought.. I actually listened to the Soundtrack to NO DIRECTION HOME..
i am recommending this next in the DYLAN bootleg series.. this compilation of early dylan work is BRILLIANT..
Desporation or desolation row.. rang in my ears.. Then i just put Between here and gone, the title track on repeat. it made me feel better and stopped to get a pedicure..
i really shouldnt use the CHINESE pedicure/manicure places. something tells me that they offer those pedicures so cheap because they use chinese women who are hostages. they are brought over to the US and have to earn money to pay back the village at compounded interest so they are never really free from the person who brings them over. Its kinda like credit card debt. YOu dont get free from interest while trying to pay the principle.
these women seem shy or unsettled when you ask them about THEM. i watch they way they are treated by customers, like a comodity not a person. like they are a service not blood and heart and tears and fears. i try to humanize them, solicit their opinion, ask their name, have a conversation but i think its only patronizing. they are uncomfortable and unsettled.... so i just tip well..
i have steamed up the farm stand corn that is as sweet and sliced the NJ tomatoes, tossed em with basil from the green market and cheese and olive oil
so i am cleaned up my still havent found some time for the grief...
i caught the CNN special on 9-11 and it made me feel better.. the stories were uplifting and interesting.. Mary Chapin looked great and Grand Central tugged at my heart as it did the first time that i heard it in Beverly.
I waited that night, uncharacteristically of me, at the bus with lisa et al to tell MCC how she nailed that song.
4 years later... i still think she nailed the feelings.. of the events in her song...( iron worker may not have agreed, he was modest)
the moon is at 1/2 mast tonight as are the flags of NYC...and the tribute towers are blazing clearer than any night this week.. they can be seen from all around the city.... another 9-11 is almost over..
i listen to steve earle interview Dar williams and play her choice songs. She plays the Bryds- Bells of Rhymey (pete seeger) Benidictus (paul simon) Simon and Garfunkel,
Suzanne Vega (blood makes noise), Boy in the Bubble ( paul Simon) Patriot Games by Judy Collins and Dar Williams's own EMPIRE
i eat and got to bed, i cant unwind, i am hot,i put on the fan, i am restless, i am nervous, i cant settle in... i take two Calms forte, i get up to put the air conditioner on.. i try to watch TV.. i fall sleep..
