Patricia Norton, age 62 dies of lung failure and heart disease after a long illness with Emphysema.
I met Ms Norton in May of 1984, when my boss sent me down to Coney Island to visit the first foster parent that I would be working with. As I was not prepared, i sat for 4 hour drinking coffee and looking at photos in photo albums. I remember many of the children at Ms Norton's. Black, white, spanish, sickly and well. I remember her stories of Damien with pyloric stenosis who projectile vomitted and she treated him with special formula.
My own cases, Shaquana, who was stolen by her mom. Moses, the baby so sick and neglected he almost needed hospitalization til Pat started to bring him back to life. She nursed that child til he regain healthy skin, weight and alertness. Cindy who would spike fevers of 106 and I ended up taking her to the Emergency Room for repeated ear infections which finally was diagnosed as kidney infection. Coney Island, Kings County were some of our hangouts til Myles.
Myles was a blonde, wide eyed 2 1/2 year old born to a prostitute heroine using mother in the South Bronx. She was hosptalized when i met Myles and I never met his mom because she died Monday of a long weekend and when i came back to work and was gonna visit, i found out she died. Myles was living with Ms Norton and got attached to her. He entered care sick but we never knew that he had an illness we could not cure. Miles with explosive diaherra was diagnoses as one of the first pediatric Aids cases in the country.
Pat and I learned all we could about Aids. We called the Gay Mens Crisis Center because they were the only resources there was. We were affiliated with Downstate Medical Center and for years we were monitoring Myles Health.
Pat had the chance to make a decision about caring for Myles and early in his diagnosis because of community pressure and her sons, she asked for his removal. Two days later, she called and said she couldnt live without him and She and her youngest son decided, she wanted to care for Myles.
Myles remained with her til his death at age 11. There was his adoption and trips to florida and limo rides and plenty of Doctor appointments. Myles was seen regularly and suffered many hospitalizations due to pediatric Aids. He knew he was sicker than most kids and didnt know he had Aids til late in life.
After the first few Xmas eves of bring gifts as part of my job and the fact that noone else wanted to be infected by being Myles Social Worker, i spent 11 christmas eves at Ms Nortons house. With my 18 months and more as her worker and through being on the Board of Directors of an Aids organization at Kings Country. I became part of the Norton Family.
There were times that I was called to the Hospital, Coney Island Hospital or NY Hospital to see Myles as he was ill or possibly dying. None seemed to be the time that was the one that would be the End. There was the time that Myles was given the chance to meet the Pope. He was at St Patricks Cathedral and I was called to come up and meet the Pope But by the time i got there, Pat and Myles were in session and I was not to meet the Pope. Myles had been granted some wishes by Make A Wish...Limos to his Adoption, Trips to Florida etc
Then there was the night that I got a call from Pat to come to NY hospital, Myles was already 11 and i knew from Pat that he planned his own funeral and cremation, The Psychologist have been in to meet with him and certified that he was capable to do so. I headed up to the hospital to find the Hospital Priest giving him his last rights. Myles was not really aware of me and he talked about Michael Jordan. I had to leave the room as my knees were giving out and i knew that It was only a matter of hours, days and Myles would be dead.
THe call came from Pat Norton that Myles died in her arms. I left the hospital after keeping vigil while Pat showered. I remember smoking cigarettes with her outside and leaving her at NY Hospital. I disparately wanted to leave. I went home and within 12 hours i got the call that Myles had died.
Pat planned a beautiful funeral and i remember crying at the wake. I attended the Catholic funeral and going with Pat to pick up MYles ashes.
I spent the next few xmas eves with the NOrton's and was there through Stephen's death a few years later.
Stephen knew he had AIds but Myles never really understood what it meant to have AIDS. it was a matter of a few years but really light years from being an outcast and to being understood.
I am not that these would be alive today if they were diagnosed today. They would be accepted and not shamed or abandoned or admonished for being contagious.
So i went to the Wake of Patricia Norton Saturday. I saw a fragile, frail fighter who took on the world of fear when no one else really wanted to. Patricia Norton, a woman who gave her own oldest child up for adoption, lived her final years with her Son's adopted mother. Patricia Norton, advocate, mother to all those needed a mother including me. I realized that she raised me, educated me to parenting, changing babies, exposed me to different cultures and as her kids told me " Pat loved you". Pat took a young caseworker and let me be the "professional Social worker" while she was the "professional parent" and i let her parent. Maybe that is why we worked so well together. We let each other do our jobs.
I sat with Peachy, mother of her granddaughter, Robert her youngest son and the one who welcomed me into the home, Carlos, her son who was in gangs and prison. JOey, her oldest who is 6 years sober and his mom Judy. Judy told me about the last 10 years of Pat's life.
