This year as Hanukah approached on December 5th, i heard an essay on NPR by Amy Klein who spoke about growing up in Brooklyn during the 70s and how her community celebrated Hanukah. The premise of her essay was Hanukah is not Christmas and cannot compete with Christmas.
This year after 47 Christmas seasons, I have felt that I didnt have to make excuses for not celebrating Christmas. As a child, whose parents worked in retail for Christmas, I was sent to the neighbors to watch them celebrate Christmas eve. I remember sitting on the couch watching. There were no presents, no santa, no celebrating. Just watching. As i grew up, there was always Chinese food when my parents came home but no Christmas. There was nothing open on CHristmas day so you had to go bowling or to the movies. I remember Bowling on Christmas. As a teenager, i accompanied my friends to Church and celebrated christmas eve but there was no Christmas. Every once in a while, i get an invite to someone house for dinner but its not Christmas.
I celebrate Hanukkah but growing up you could not do that publically. THere are many misnomers regarding Hanukkah. 8 nights of gifts are not equal to the number of gifts that my friends have under their tree. There are no Hanukkah Bushes or blue trees. Those are fabricated by Jews who want to celebrate Christmas. I have no problem if they choose to celebrate Christmas but please there is not a Jewish Christmas. Hanukkah has it own foods, rituals and cultural base and a Blue Christmas tree is not part of it. There are more songs about Hanukkah than Adam Sandler or that stupid Dreidel song (which is a childs song). Adults dont really sing the dreidel song but it always shows up in Christmas shows as an attempt at being culturally sensitive. I find it offensive. So have a christmas show dont add a child's song as a representation of Hanukah.
Then there were years that Suzi came to NY. I always felt bad that there was no christmas celebrations for her but I guess if she needed that she would not have come to a Jewish friend or she could have made her own celebration. One year we went to my sisters around that time of year. My sister's husband and her family celebrate Christmas so my neices have both holidays. My sister puts a tree for her children but does not light Hanukkah candles. They celebrate Hanukkah as a gift sharing night with pizza with my parents.
This year i chose not to attend Christmas parties at work. I decided not to attend for many reasons. My holiday celebration were over in early December and after acknowledging the holiday season, I went to do things that were more important to me.
For many years, Hanukkah was in the shadow of Christmas. They are not similar holidays. Amy Klein's essay, helped me to finally reconcile that I dont have to make an excuse for not celebrating Christmas. I dont have to sacrifice time off because " i dont need it" or I should forfeit it because I dont celebrate Christmas. I dont have to sacrifice because i am in the minority.
So this year at Christmas, I didnt make any excuses. I didnt have to apologize for not celebrating Christmas. I could not participate in any discussion about Christmas. I didnt have to avoid the topic or compensate in any way. I could just be. I could be at peace at not celebrating Christmas.
I spent the day at the movies. I made sure that I made plans for Christmas eve and Christmas day and It was just a day off. I didnt spent too much energy on watching Christmas parades because i just didnt pay attention. I saw the windows on 5th ave because i was there, I didnt see the tree because i felt i had to see the tree. I just never got near Rockerfeller center. If i didnt have to go to the stores, I didnt go just because i felt the pressure of Christmas. I took advantage of sales because they were sales and didnt buy anything i didnt need.
I had a great day off from work and enjoyed the day.
