Sunday, July 31, 2005

my boring life

just to prove to myself that i lead a humdrum, boring small little everday mediocre life...this is my yesterday

i woke up at 7:00am because my kitty cat wakes me up for food around then. I got out o of bed and showered and checked the time for my weekly Weight watchers meeting
seeing, i didnt go on wed thurs or fri.. I had to get one in on saturday and seeing i had a hair cut and color in Queens.. i went off to weight watchers
first i stopped at dunkin donuts for coffee and then i realized i needed gas.. i stopped for gas.
to Queens


my favorite leader was running the group.. I gained 1.6 lbs.. post falcon ridge eating junk.. and i stayed for the meeting..

i still havent had coffee or food so i went to waldbaums and bought fruit and yogurt and other staples

off to my haircut and color.. i was early..so they took me anyway..

i left there to go to shoprite to get milk and eggs and more frozen stuff..

and home.. I made INstant pudding while i talked to my friend dave on the phone and hten off to manahttan to see THE ARISTOCRATS the movie..about the comedians all telling the most vile rotten nasty joke known to man

i had time to kill so i went to the green market and bought, peaches, apples and basil

and the movie..

i then did some shoppping and came home to layer basil, fresh tomotoe and Mozzarella cheese so i can eat it with olive oil another day

i also steamed some corn on the cob...

started watching food channel and ate brown rice sushi i bought at whole foods..

i went to sleep...

boring day....

good movie...
good shopping
good MP3 player tunes
good haircut
good color..
great weather
14000 steps..
good day
sunshine

Today... i am going for a pedicure

the aristocrats joke

the aristocrats joke website

make it as gross as you can .....

see the movie

Saturday, July 30, 2005

random phone message

"i think i got the wrong message" "even so, jesus is coming. Read your bible. G-d Bless you and have a good day"

Friday, July 29, 2005

Being Bobby Brown

i started watching this show and at least Bobby Brown realizes he has a disease and needs to feed his alcoholism...

the show is about an immature man who spends excessively, acts in vulgar ways and is a bit of an exhibitionist..

his wife needs detox and a cult deprogrammer . she is also shown overweight, without makeup, acting as silly and immature as her husband and often drinking or drunk

there is lots of talk of going to the bathroom and mr and mrs sharing kisses..

its weird, bravo, relatively boring and interesting at the same time

thursdays at 10:00pm BRAVO

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

week of july 28th

Capricorn Horoscope for week of July 28, 2005

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
There are at least 20 different kinds of kisses, and the ancient Indian book Kama Sutra describes ten of them. Loving gazes and caresses come in an almost infinite variety, and the 2600-year-old book identifies a few of each. As for sexual positions, the Kama Sutra provides insight into how to perform 84. In the coming weeks, I suggest you explore the Kama Sutra or a text like it, Capricorn, because your astrological assignment is to be ingenious and experimental as you push past the frontiers of your sexual wisdom.


*
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*
The preceding oracle comes from my new book. It's called PRO

Tuesday, July 26, 2005


Truth is not the enemy- Janis Ian  Posted by Picasa

leave the bags behind.. the ode to the backpack- NYTimes article 7-26-05

Take a Stand Against Terror: Lighten Up

By CLYDE HABERMAN
Published: July 26, 2005

MAYBE the bag searches in the subways and on commuter lines will foil a terrorist plot, and maybe they won't. But at least one side benefit is a distinct possibility:

Perhaps some New Yorkers will now abandon the overstuffed backpacks that contribute to making crowded trains a misery for their fellow passengers.

Surely you have run into these people. More likely, they have bumped into you. That's because the sacks between their shoulder blades are so gargantuan, they have no clue where they end and you begin. They're among the people who make you wonder if a separate baggage car should be created, or at a minimum, a freight charge imposed.

Wouldn't it be nice if some of them, sensing that a fat backpack might increase their chances of being stopped and searched, realized that they could get through the day without bringing along what looks suspiciously like half their worldly possessions?

It is too early to tell if the new police inspections have altered rider behavior in this regard. "That's a very difficult thing to try to say," said Tom Kelly, a spokesman for the Metropolitan Transportation Authority. But it would not be surprising, he said, if people were indeed putting "less stuff in the bag."

Wouldn't it also be nice if the stuff that they left behind included firearms? You have to believe that a few New Yorkers, and perhaps more than a few, routinely ride the trains with unregistered guns in their briefcases, satchels and handbags.

What if some of them start worrying about being caught in a random search, and think twice before heading out the door in the morning? For them, there is wisdom to be gleaned from the first "Godfather" film: Leave the gun. (Whether to take the cannoli, or anything else, is optional.) Would we all not be better off?

Wouldn't it be nice as well if we managed in these jittery times to lower the stupidity quotient in the city, if just a tad?

Stupid, most people would probably agree, is to get angry at a ticket agent in Pennsylvania Station and announce, because you have no self-control, that there is a bomb in your bag. That is what one clever fellow from the Bronx is accused of doing on Sunday. He had no bomb. He was only kidding. Ha-ha. Some joke.

The police were not amused. They arrested this man, and charged him with making a terroristic threat and falsely reporting an incident.

C'mon, his court-appointed lawyer said, the guy is no terrorist, not even close. That may be so. But the police had to make do with the charges available to them, since the penal code apparently has no provision covering stupidity.

PERHAPS, as a result of an incident like this, knuckleheads will get the message. This is probably not the best of times to test the good humor of either the authorities or other New Yorkers. Police officers are human, and they are understandably tense. Many among us are.

Then again, maybe we all need to take a deep breath.

Even if the police searches are deemed helpful - and are also declared constitutional once the civil libertarians are done with their predictable court challenges - New Yorkers may ask themselves how many other changes to their routines they are willing to accept.

They may wonder, for example, if this is the right moment for the transportation authority to follow through on a proposed rule to forbid subway riders to walk from one car to another.

Last month, the authority's chairman sent the rule into bureaucratic limbo. With fears of subway terrorism running high, it may well stay there for a long time. The very idea of not being able to escape a car under attack - as it is, more than 25 percent of the subway fleet's 6,182 cars have their doors locked - may be more than many New Yorkers can bear.

Another security change urged by some elected officials and editorialists is to wire the subways for cellphone use. Their argument is that this communications link could be vital in a disaster.

Mr. Kelly of the transportation authority said yesterday that there was no plan to install the equipment needed to create cellphone capacity in tunnels and at stations, because "the cost is prohibitive."

No doubt, many riders will be relieved. Cellphones can be used to set off bombs, as they were on trains in Madrid. Besides, making cellphone use possible underground would cost riders their last refuge from maddening, uncontrolled yakking.

Sure, a terror threat is frightening. But life does go on. Some would say that it needs to be kept as sane as possible.

Monday, July 25, 2005

falcon ridge 05 post to the darlist

as i pulled up the hill toward camp dar, i immediately saw Mosh, sharon girlock and jessie who helped me get chairs and other assorted camping items up the hill. Even though i choose this year to sleep under a roof,
to stay in a B&B down the road- David Buskin got it right "jews dont camp" except gail cohen...and george auerbach but they are canadians... do canadian jews have different rules..

welll, i settled in and thursday night's line up of the arrogant worms ( who i liked better on the workshop stage - up close and more personal) chris smither and hot tuna

I went to mostly workshops on friday-
Vincent... you dont annouce your own shout out... its not ettique...You allow someone else to report.. that Nerissa Nields acknowledged her newest stalker.... Vincent... Patty did you get him?

i did get to sit with patty and her sister and beautiful neice, Alexis... for the it takes two workshop...
it takes two... Kennedys, Nields, Lowen and Navarro ( i found myself singing along to their catchy hooks that i dont even know) Paul and Storm did great parodies of Simon and Garfunkel and Randy Newman.. i like their duo..

Rolling in the aisle workshop... MOdern Man.. paul and storm and the Worms.. rocked.. MOdern Man repeated alot of their limited material on the mainstage and turned me off because i heard their stuff a few hours before and it wasnt funny the second time.. There was an exceptionally obnoxious couple who asked me NOT to talk to Richard Dahl and his lovely wife audrey during their set, which i accommodated.. they then went on to cat call modern man and laugh way too loud... they need to keep their fandom within limits..

i loved the folk Quiz but thought some of the moderators sexual comments went over teh edge to offensive
Modern Man with susan werner and pete and maura with FRUiT was great and lot of fun... it was great to see anne participating and claudia marshall from FUV...

Jimmy Lafave got rained out... I ate dinner during Brave Combo and the song swap really wasnt a swap...
Susan Werner killed... i find when Chris Smither is on the song swap, he doesnt participate in harmonies or on anyone else's songs.. He clearly could have joined Tracy and JIm on crocodile man... and didnt..
Tracy joined Vance on Gentle arms of eden.. and no one worked harder this weekend than Jim Henry, playing wiht everyone.. he rocked.. OH yeah... then there is RAD...who was contained.. maybe Texas tamed him..

I saw Vance's set, Susan Werner never never never disappoints... She needs to be permanently at FRFF.. she is so flexible, funny and can do anything..

saturday was so packed with great music i couldnt decide where to go... i sat my butt at the workshop stage and couldnt make it to redbird (who i would have loved to see more of) i also skipped L&N's set because i went to the Quiz during dinner (NYCers dont eat at 530) and wanted to support and see Tracy's incredible set..
then Crooked Still and Dar..

Dar was loose and as cool as ive seen her.. She was bold enough to take requests of the 11, 000 people at falcon ridge.. they had lighters, flashlights and neon way way way before IOWA... dar being the dictator she is controlled the lights.. she referred to the power of the lights... and called herself a dictator..
Vincent reported... but where is IOWA...
DAR WILLIAMS
-Are You Out There
-The Babysitters Here
-Teen For God
-Empire
-When I Was A Boy
-The One Who Knows
-So Close To My Heart
-Fishing In The Morning

come on vincent, i saw dad with the video camera... you can get the set list complete...

dar dedicated THe one who knows to Jody Gill who looked beautiful signing dar songs..
and dar sounded great and had great fun in her shirt with the dove with a blunt leave in its mouth..
she didnt realize the design...
she told funny stories and was delightful... dar williams makes a special falcon ridge..
I met up with her and stephen... her delightful and beautiful baby and Mrs williams, the greatest grandmother
but where was my favorite man on saturday... I loved seeing mrs W but missed Mr W...

sunday.. found me very burned and blonde... and i sat at the rachel bissex workshop taking pictures..
dar made funny faces at me.... teh workshop was healing for the fans and artitsts but i kept thinking about those kids without their mom.. those beautiful children... who lost their mom and no tribute or celebration will bring her back...

i sat at workshops and went to see FRUiT... george you were right... i loved em...the horns were an added special adn unexpected...

i caught vance and eliza gilkyson's sets and then the nields... It was great to hear Katryna sing again.. and does anyone know if CONE's Best black dress... a 3/4 length shift was in size 10... i think i would like that dress when he is done with it... what a way to honor Katryna and NErissa.. CONE when in drag....

i left burned and tired and blonder than i came..

sally and laura, gail and jennifer... Jen who can massage me anytime... susan, patrick, candy , joanne, libby, vincent and dad, i even saw TOM neff who was working hard so i didnt bother him, dar, stephen, mom and babysitter, renihard, amy W and Amy Putnam, rebecca, graham and becky and molly, meg hart and daughter and devon ( thanks dudes for helping me carry stuff to my car, ) norman, bob patterson, scott duggan who let me camp on his tarp, maggie crowley and eli, were all the darlister i saw.. if anyone else saw me i spoke to you and i forgot.. please forgive me

its really different to sleep off site... and i didnt get to song circles but i had a good falcon ridge...
it was a packed weekend and i am dehydrated and burned... Next year MORE SUNSCREEN....

thanks sally green heaven for the ice.....

sharonG

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Capricorn Horoscope for week of July 21, 2005

apricorn Horoscope for week of July 21, 2005

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
"I am crossing years tonight to light an answer," writes Keith Althus in his poem called "Poem." That should be your theme in the coming week, Capricorn. Take a deep journey into your past, armed with good will. Before you go, inscribe in your mind's eye a vision of something that symbolizes the power to illuminate, like a torch, lantern, or star. As you wander through your memories, becoming reacquainted with all the turning points that helped make you what you are today, pay special attention to lingering questions from the old days that never got properly resolved. With the help of your torch, lantern, or star, light some new answers.


*
sounds like a semiphore is needed as well as a compass
__________________

Capricorn Horoscope for week of July 21, 2005

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
"I am crossing years tonight to light an answer," writes Keith Althus in his poem called "Poem." That should be your theme in the coming week, Capricorn. Take a deep journey into your past, armed with good will. Before you go, inscribe in your mind's eye a vision of something that symbolizes the power to illuminate, like a torch, lantern, or star. As you wander through your memories, becoming reacquainted with all the turning points that helped make you what you are today, pay special attention to lingering questions from the old days that never got properly resolved. With the help of your torch, lantern, or star, light some new answers.

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*
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Wednesday, July 20, 2005

july 20 1969

there are two nights that i remember as a kid...

1. the night Jim mckay came on tv to announce that the israeli wrestling team was killed by terrorists in munich in 1972

2. the night that man walked on the moon on july 20th 1969

both of those nights, i walked into my parents room, woke them from their sleep to give them the news..

the night that Neil Armstrong walked on the moon was amazing to me. I could not believe that the US could send a man to the moon and he could walk on the surface..

it was an innocent time where the US was the greatest kindest nation in the world and in the middle of the cold war, the US reigned supreme...

hot flashes

first the heat swells up in your body, you really dont realize you are hot. the sweat pours out and you realize your forehead is wet and your upper lip is dripping. Your neck and chest start to get wet and you feel like you have taken a shower. it is worse when you have just put on body lotion because lotion, not absorbed in the skin, mixes wtih the sweat and drips off your body. YOur face and nose are wet with droplets of sweat, YOu feel wet. You start to smell yourself and realize your deoderant may not be strong enough.

its not like sweating from Physical activity or from being outdoors in the heat and humidity, its like walking out of a swimming pool without a towel.

your skin feels fresh and clean or hot and tingly or prickly in the heat.

your never know when they strike and you can get cool enough. its used to be a cool takes over, not now.. NO cool after the storm just more hot.

they wake you from your sleep, stop you mid sentance, interrupt your thinking..

soon after, i am exhausted like having a seizure. the physical energy of hot flashes tires me out...

no black cohost, soy products or estroven has been able to help...

no period while i get the flashes... its all a trade off..

i cant make them go away... just adjust...

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

friendly faces

my friend Fay says i know everyone. that i seem to run into someone i know everywhere i go.
its almost true.

Last night i went to see Lyle Lovett at central park summerstage and pulled up to the line to find Fred Folmer in the line directly in front of me. Fred the Darhead. Fred who got my friend suzi an internship in NYC at his travel mag. Fred who lived in Pittsburgh and moved to NYC years ago. Fred who i havent seen since FRFF 2000...
i ran into FReD and sat with he and his new girlfriend...( the met on line.... I liked her alot)

today, walking to the library, i ran into Alicia someone from my Thursday afternoon Weight watchers meeting. I havent been on thursday pm in over a year and there was alicia walking on the street. She doesnt live near here, just here..

Then i walked into MR Harris.. a guy i worked with at ST josephs.. on the same block down the street a bit

its been a three person sighting.. in two days and two in an 15 minute period..

i think i broke my own record

Saturday, July 16, 2005

charlie and the chocolate factory

i went to manhattan to catch the movie and ended up in front a 5 teenagers. I turned around as they were consuming large volumes of popcorn and soda, and asked them if they were going to be quiet during the movie. The kid behind promised me with a Pinkie Promise.
i shook on it.. he informed me that Today was his birthday..his 14th birthday and
he and his friends were at the movies. they had been bowling and the 3 guys were having a sleep over tonight.
I asked them about the Harry Potter book. Two of them had stayed up to get it last night..
three of the kids were heading to styvesant High school in the fall and one to Bronx Science and the last to the Beacon school on 61st street..
the kids answered my questions about PSP and how it operates and they recommended it
the Birthday boy went to chicago for this birthday and we talked about that..

after the movie, i turned around and thanked the kids for being quiet and asked if they liked it... They all had liked the movies..

it is not like the original.. its more psychdelic... Johnny Depp is great as Willy Wonka.. I love the backstory..
i loved the movie..
flaws and all

Thursday, July 14, 2005

the anti terrorist man adventure

i left the carole king concert last night. The train was delayed by a Trash truck and i looked at the man remaining on the platform with me. he was an older man who was dressed in a golf shirt and sports coat.

as the train was delayed, i looked at him and he said " after working a 14 hour day, I want to go home" i said to him, " you would think they delay the train for security measures, no, they are collecting trash." i told him that he didnt want to know what i was thinking about regarding NYC security. I asked him what he did that forces him to work 14 hour days. " counter anti terrorism" he said.

So then i told him what i thought about the police being on the train during rush hour but no where to be found on weekends. he told me its all cosmetic. and Comm Kelly pads his overtime budget with anti terrorism where in reality there is way too little money from the Federal GOvernment. Bloomberg and Pataki are right in that there is way too little FED money because of the democratic nature of NYC and NYState and its Bush punishment to NYC not to give NY the money it needs to secure its safety.

we talked about measures to keep NY safer and where the holes are... the many many holes. The man told me stories about his consulting work and how he writes terrorist scenarios.. we talked about security and the internet, security and airlines, security and travel...and we talked about how much it would really cost to secure our safety

we are not safe.... we are not safe... we are not safe

i asked him about the REAL ID card and its value, use and misuse

the man and i talked all the way home. i thanked the man for his suggestions and comments and information and he thanked me for listening and i wished him much safety

Capricorn Horoscope for week of July 14, 2005

Capricorn Horoscope for week of July 14, 2005

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
The astrological omens will soon favor a splashy union. It could come in the form of a wedding or a reworking of your marriage vows. It could mean an adventurous collaboration with a business partner or a deepened commitment to an old ally. You might even consider intensifying your devotion to an idea that inspires you or sharpening your concentration on a future event that will marshal your lust for life.


*
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my 25 year home





You Know You're From New York City When...


You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.

You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.

You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

The subway makes sense.

You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple".

The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.

You consider Westchester "upstate".

You think Central Park is "nature."

You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.

You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it�s a "steal."

You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times.

You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the U.S. pay in rent.

You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.

You go to dinner at 9 and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed.

Your closet is filled with black clothes.

You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since the 80s, and when you did, it terrified you.

You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.

You take fashion seriously.

Being truly alone makes you nervous.

You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.

Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."

America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.

You've gotten jaywalking down to an art form.

You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.

Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

$50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.

You don't notice sirens anymore.

You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns.

Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watchseller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.

You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skills.

You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.

Your door has more than three locks.

Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it.

You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

You run when you see a flashing "Do Not Walk" sign at the intersection.

You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.

You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available.

You're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.

There is no North and South. It's uptown or downtown.

When you're away from home, you miss "real" pizza and "real" bagels.

You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.

You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.

Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect.

You know what a bodega is.

You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.

Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.....

You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas

Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from NYC.




my home state





You Know You're From Massachusetts When...


The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are cursing him for going too slow.

When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke...not quinine water.

You actually enjoy driving around rotaries.

You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.

You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Haverhill, Barre and Cotuit.

You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer.

You know that there are two Bulger brothers, and that they're both crooks.

You know what they sell at a packie.

You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call.

You can actually find your way around Boston.

Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday.

You know what First Night is.

You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus.

You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day.

You have never been to Cheers.

When the words 'WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together.

You knew that there was no chance in hell that the Pats would move to Hartford.

You have gone to at least one party at UMass.

The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools.

You own a "Yankees Suck" shirt or hat.

You think Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever.

You remember exactly where you were when the ball rolled through Buckner's legs.

You pray for the Red Sox to win the World Series not this season, but in your lifetime.

You know how to make a frappe.

You know that "Big Dig" is also a kind of ice cream you can get at Brigham's.

You actually know how to merge from 6 lanes of traffic down to one.

You never go to "Cape Cod", you go "down the Cape".

You think that Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs and Derek Jeter are more evil than Whitey Bulger.

You went to Old Sturbridge Village, Plymouth Plantation, or both, on field trip in grammar school.

You're aware that there is a town, somewhere in Massachusetts, named Brimfield where they have the biggest outdoor antique market in the world.

You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day.

You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line.

You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new rap group.

You know that Ludlow is 90% Portuguese and that Fall River is 90% Lebanese.

You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language.

You've called something "wicked pissa"

You have driven to either Rhode Island, New Hampshire or Vermont for a tattoo.

You see people like Steven Tyler (Aerosmith), Dicky Barret (The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones), and Evan Dando (The Lemonheads) in the local supermarket and it doesn't phase you.

You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater

Know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frank(ie)

Paranoia sets in if you can't see a Dunkin Donuts, ATM or CVS within eyeshot at all times.

You keep an ice scraper and can of de-icer on the floor of your car...year round

You still try to order curly fries from Burger King

You order iced coffee in January

You know what candlepin bowling is

You drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax

You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left.

You've bragged about the money you've saved at The Christmas Tree Shop

You know what a "regular" coffee is

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Massachusetts.




Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Some random dar list member wrote me...

Some random darlist member wrote me


"Sharon (is there a g at the end or your name or not?)"

Monday, July 11, 2005

global post traumatic stress

with all these violent attacks and repeated secondary trauma, i started to think about the idea of Global Post traumatic stress syndrome

if What are the symptoms of PTSD?

PTSD symptoms are divided into three categories. People who have been exposed to traumatic experiences may notice any number of symptoms in almost any combination. However, the diagnosis of PTSD means that someone has met very specific criteria. The symptoms for PTSD are listed below.

* Intrusive Re-experiencing

People with PTSD frequently feel as if the trauma is happening again. This is sometimes called a flashback, reliving experience or abreaction. The person may have intrusive pictures in his/her head about the trauma, have recurrent nightmares or may even experience hallucinations about the trauma. Intrusive symptoms sometimes cause people to lose touch with the "here and now" and react in ways that they did when the trauma originally occurred. For example, many years later a victim of child abuse may hide trembling in a closet when feeling threatened, even if the perceived threat is not abuse-related.

* Avoidance

People with PTSD work hard to avoid anything that might remind them of the traumatic experience. They may try to avoid people, places or things that are reminders, as well as numbing out emotions to avoid painful, overwhelming feelings. Numbing of thoughts and feelings in response to trauma is known as "dissociation" and is a hallmark of PTSD. Frequently, people with PTSD use drugs or alcohol to avoid trauma-related feelings and memories.

* Arousal

Symptoms of psychological and physiological arousal are very distinctive in people with PTSD. They may be very jumpy, easily startled, irritable and may have sleep disturbances like insomnia or nightmares. They may seem constantly on guard and may find it difficult to concentrate. Sometimes persons with PTSD will have panic attacks accompanied by shortness of breath and chest pain.

Who gets PTSD?

PTSD can affect anyone at any age who has been exposed to a traumatic event where he/she experienced terror, threat (or perceived threat) to life, limb or sanity and his/her ability to cope was overwhelmed. Conservative estimates show that nine-ten percent of the general population has PTSD. Among people who were victims of specific traumatic experiences (rape, child abuse, violent assaults, etc.), the rate of PTSD is 60-80 percent.

Diagnosis

Unfortunately, it is common for those with PTSD to avoid treatment. Also, it is common for those who do seek treatment to be misdiagnosed. Because PTSD often occurs at the same time as other physiological and mental health disorders, PTSD symptoms may be masked or difficult to identify. Examples of common co-occurring conditions are depression, substance use/dependence and bipolar disorder. Trauma survivors may also experience headaches, chest pain, digestive or gynecological problems as well. However, there is a growing number of clinicians who are skilled at recognizing PTSD and still others who are specializing in treatment of traumatic stress disorders. If you think you might have PTSD you should seek professional help for a thorough physical and mental health assessment.

Can PTSD be treated?

Yes. A person who has survived a traumatic event will probably never feel as if the event didn't happen, but the disruptive, distressing effects of PTSD are completely treatable. Depending on the source of the trauma (manmade vs. natural), the nature of the trauma (accidental vs. purposeful), and the age of the victim at the time of the trauma, treatment strategies may vary. Treatment involves both managing symptoms and working through the traumatic event. Most experts agree that psychotherapy is an important part of recovery. Medications can help reduce some symptoms allowing psychotherapy to be more effective.

so if all of the above pertaining to individual PTSD then if everyone in the world is experiencing global PTSD, what does it mean for policy and governments and generations to come

PTSD victims raising children in environments where PTSD is dominant and pervasive. can it be generation and cyclical like child abuse and domestic violence

can we teach children symptoms of PTSD as the defense or the norm???

weekend terrorist

The NYC homeland security team increased security in the subway on weekdays and rush hour only!!

what do they think terrorists take the weekend off?

________________________________

lets fight terror with terror...

weekend's over

what a full weekend and i am tired of not sleeping well and i am sorry its over. There are no more chances of trying to catch up on sleep on the weekend when monday morning rolls around. Its smack into a new work week.. I think i am desperate for a vacation and time away.

saturday rolled around and i lounged around in the morning and headed into Manhattan with grandious plans. the Q train was stopping on the R line so i got off at 8th street and walked the street fair to 14th street. I shopped and bought some stuff, including some presents for suzi's bday (if she is reading this) and went to the green market. bought a bag of apples for the guys at the used Cd store and didnt stop at the GAP on 18th except to Pee.

I walked up broadway again, another street fair from 23rd to 34th and there was less to shop and more to eat. I was losing my patience and decided to stop for a soda and regroup. I decided to walk to 14th and try to go to prospect park for the kids show and maybe a movie. it started to sprinkle out and i decided to catch the 4pm showing of War of the Worlds.

Do i need to report, its a well made movie, if you like suspense and Sci -go for it_
if you cant stand screaming 10 year olds, TOM cruise with puppy dog eyes, the end of the world, invasion of aliens or terrorists and distorted views of boston
dont see it..
i could have lived without it.

the man leaving the theater with me, summed it up.. WHY? and all that Dakota Fanning screaming..

so i went thru the green market again and bought fresh broccoli and went home to cook it..

sunday.. started slow til i saw an ad in the flyer at best buy for a replacement for my dead dead dead creative nomad... they had a sale.. so i raced through a shower and went to Bay Friggin Parkway... I hate that store and they never have what i want..or come for.
Why should this trip be any different. I told both the wireless and customer store managers, that i will not shop there again. it really doesnt do any good, they dont give a shit.
so then i was dressed stopped at the grocery store and came home and cooked and ventured to manhattan to go to central park..

i ran into an asshole who was on the bleechers and left that area and found a spot to sit. A woman asked me not to sit on her blanket because she was expected "a lot of people" seems she spent most of the Citizen Cope set trying to convince this man to come over to central park and see the show. Her lots of people where two men, one for her and one for her friend. Man who shave their body hair, who are prettier than the girls they are with. Men who came over, had the women buy them lunch and beer and who probably know they will get laid. the things you see at free shows...

i really was there for the Blind Boys of ALabama and had to leave before their set was over... i had to get down to joes pub for "eddie from Ohio"

the set was good.. it was called "backstage on stage" and there were question and answer periods interspersed with the music..

something totally different, relaxed and appropriate to joes pub

i havent slept well this weekend, getting up frequently at night, i am tired and thought of staying home. but i am up and moving barely. i will make it through the day.

i have a busy week.. busier for me..

back to joes pub on Tuesday for Caitlin Cary and Thad Cockrell
Carole King at Radio city on Wednesday. Ozomatli in prospect park on thursday
PattY Griffin in King of Prussia on sunday

and the dentist on monday and a day off...

then there is FalCon Ridge... we are closing in on FRFF...

boy im tired thinking of it all

the newness

I dreamed that i was in a room with a woman who resembled Julie Wells Murphy( from EFO) and there was a discussion of a new toy. i remember her talking of her two boys and the toy was making its way across the floor.

it was a sphere of sorts in royal blue and it moved. It could separate and duplicate like silly putty and could move like a remote controlled object without the remote. the name of the devise was the "newness" and it was contolled internally by sensors.

i woke up thinking, "the newness" "the newness" "the newness" and then i lost the dream and had to work on remembering it to write it down.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

yesterday in manhattan

i had to attend a training on child abuse and neglect to maintain my LCSW so i had to go to columbia University..

it was raining but i figured two hours would be enough time to get there so i left at 10am and got close to my stop at 11 so i decided to walk up from 81st street. Mistake, as i walked the rain got harder and harder..

i walked down side streets and looked into windows of brownstones to see how the upper upper side lives. on all the stoops the Finanical times was left there in the pink wrappers.

I walked up broadway, stopping where i wanted to and shopping.. Then i hit TOMS DINER
and saw the cathedral...

crap i thought.. I could have caught the morning Air America team and gotten swag on cortelyou road near my house from 6-9 ( i missed them)
shoot, i could have gone to riverside church to the funeral of luther vandross..
shoot...

so i suffice going by Toms Diner and hearing the bells of the cathedral ...

i attended the training drenched and walked down broadway til fairway and took the train home from 72nd street...

wet socks dont make good companions

from Paige

My neice sends me email quite frequently that include quizzes that will depict if i am a hottie or not
_this time she sent me the angel chain letter mail...


from paige
_________________
8 angels r sent 2 u,
u must send them to 8 people including me.
in 8 minutes u will receive something u have long awaited.
have faith!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

the rain washed away

i came home and started to walk...it started to drizzle and then big drops of rain began to fall..First slowly and then all at once, like the heavens opened up. I started to get wet. I was dressed in a teeshirt tank top and columbia, dry fast shorts. and socks and sneakers. I got drenched to the bone. My underwear was semi dry but my hair and upper body was soaked. i continues on an abbreviated walk that wasnt too pleasant but i reached my destination and i was wet.
walking home, it started to let up and i felt that the rain was cleasing and healing.

it washed away the dirt and grime of the day or my office and cleased me to reenter my home and life.

my priorities are what i am thinking about right now...for me

Wednesday, July 06, 2005


my strange nation Posted by Picasa

Capricorn Horoscope for week of July 7, 2005

Capricorn Horoscope for week of July 7, 2005

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Sometimes we have a strong sense of what our destiny is calling us to do, but we don't feel quite ready or brave enough to answer the call. We need a push, an intervention, a serendipitous stroke--what I call fate bait. It's a person or event that awakens our dormant willpower and draws us inexorably towards our fate; it's a thunderbolt or siren song or stage whisper that gives us a good excuse to go do what we know we should do. I suspect that you, Capricorn, are about to meet your fate bait.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

BOY FROM EAST DUBUQUE

BOY FROM EAST DUBUQUE
Copyright © Susan Werner
Description: Guitar, to the tune of "The Girl From Ipanima"

Tall and blonde and young and Catholic
The boy from East Dubuque goes walking
And when he passes each girl he passes says,
"Hi!"

Seen in church on every Sunday
He'll sell all-state insurance one day
Your instincts tell you he is the perfect guy

Always wears hair that's been
Slicked up
Drinks old-style beer till he
Hiccups
Babies his four-wheel drive
Pickups
He's every Midwestern girl's dream
'Cos he runs a slow-pitch softball team

Drop your yuppie, skip your hippie
Get married on the Mississippi
In East Dubuque
Where all the girls still say
La la la la la
La la la la la

[ad lib to end]

I am:
17%
Republican.
"You're a tax-and-spend liberal democrat. People like you are the reason everyone else votes for guys like Reagan or George W."

Are You A Republican?

fire and rain and rain and tears

i went to see James Taylor at the tweeter center or great woods or the open air pavillion like at wolftrap or the PNC arts center (depending on where in the east coast you are reading this)
this venue is where i saw Mary Chapin carpenter for the first time and elton john with my stoner brother.

i went to the show and ended up being sat in the handicapped section due to a mix up with my seat assignment. I took the end folding chair and a woman in her 30s with short legs and abbreviated feet ( she had hand knit booties on) was rolled up next to me by her mother. Her mother complained about the seats location and upper handicapped section.

the woman wasnt necessarily friendly and took out a soda from under her shirt or jacket or her back or under her cushion. she was drinking it from under her jacket. I told her, she didnt have to hide it and she could drink it openly.

she acknowledged me but wasnt necessarily friendly. until

Fire and Rain started.... i started to cry to the song. I am not sure why i was crying, except it touched my adolescent self...

suddenly, i found a hand on my arm. The woman in the wheelchair moved to comfort me, to reassure me. I thanked her and felt ackward that she would reach over. But i didnt shrug her off, i told her i was okay and i continues to drop tears...


Fire And Rain

Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone.
Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you.
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song,
I just can't remember who to send it to.
I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I'd see you again.

Won't you look down upon me, Jesus, You've got to help me make a stand.
You've just got to see me through another day.
My body's aching and my time is at hand and I won't make it any other way.
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I'd see you again.

Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned towards the sun.
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around.
Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come.
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.

Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain. I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
but I always thought that I'd see you baby, one more time again, now.

Thought I'd see you one more time again.
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now.
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you, fire and rain, now.

popeye and the pirate

i saw a man driving a battered up silver uhaul van. the man was smoking a corn pipe and he had no teeth so his mouth sucked in, and a full grey beard and a navel captains cap... I looked at him, he tilted his head and i thought.. He looked like popeye the sailor man.

i then was on the train and saw a man in a white shirt and black jeans and a black leather vest. under his black bandana tied around his head with the knot flowing down the back of his bandana and hte back of his head. He had grey hair that was parted on the side.. so some hung out of the front of his forehead.. and the rest of his hair flowed down his back.

a pirate, i thought...if only he had an eye patch...

so today, i saw popeye and a pirate

sudden gifts of fate

i was in massachusetts for almost a week - during that time, it seemed that the heavens opened up and shared it wealth with me.. or at least on three occasions..

1. on wednesday or my second day in town, i went to the outlet malls shopping. I spend the day shopping for all sorts of shoes and clothes and undergarments. as i was leaving the mall, it started to rain...i had to go to one last store and to the rest room which was two lanes over. as i headed to my car, i found a shopping bag sitting on a bench near ralph lauren. i thought that i would put my packages in the bag.

I approached the shopping bag and found a white polo shirt in a size xtra large inside. I looked around and no one was around. I asked about it in the store and no one claimed it, so i carried it to my car. My father wears an XLarge and it was perfect for him


2. i went on to James Taylor and went to look for my seat in Section P seat 35.. as i approached the row, there was no seat 35...just 33 then number 20 and then number 34. i called the usher who inturn called the house manager. the housemanager moved me to the 5th section handicapped section, sitting me on a folding chair. this was a remarkably better seat than i had purchased.

3. i went to see my sister and due to an accident on the highway to the masspike, i took the backroads. after seeing many many many gas stations who offered gas at 2.21, i decided to pull over at a cumberland farms and fill my 1/4 of a tank.....

i went inside with a twenty dollar bill and even though they didnt require a prepay, i left the money and pumped my gas. I went to get rootbeer barrels and a soda when i saw they carried 1 litre bottles of soda and i asked if they would reimburse me for my bottle cap granting me a free 1 litre. the salesgirl told me she would and i went to the car to get the bottle cap.
when i entered the store again, the saleswoman who waited on me, was leaving her post and she asked me to step over to the other saleswoman...
the other saleswoman explained everyone was rushing her and she was out of sorts. I asked her to take her time and gave her my purchases which came to 2.78 with the free 1 litre. she rang it up and counted out change. she then called the manager to help her find the prepay for the gas and she took out two tens, i think ... she handed me
the money and said she didnt think it was right. i looked at it and she handed me 29.00 and change. Thinking i gave her a 50 that was in my wallet, i got nervous and anxious and confused. i left with the money and my purchases and raced to check if i had the 50 dollar bill..
i found the 50 and stuffed the money in my wallet..

i think that i got 29.00 and change for a 7.00 and 2.78 purchase on a 20 dollar bill

sudden gifts of fate... Mary Chapin Carpenter

Some people need to know what to expect
Need to keep control, need to keep one step
Ahead of every chance, as if chance decides
Who it's gonna pass, who it will reward
They don't understand, chances don't keep score
They just find us when we're there to find

Chorus:
And so this has to be, a sudden gift of fate
you're nothing less to me than a sudden gift of fate
It's not as if it comes down to your turn that someone somewhere feels you've earned
You just learn to wait for sudden gifts of fate

Some people have never been the lonely kind
Never called a friend in the middle of the night
Just to hear a voice say it's okay
And now I hear you speak each and every word
That I didn't think lonely people heard
You took a long night and turned it into day

Chorus:
And so this has to be, a sudden gift of fate
you're nothing less to me than a sudden gift of fate
Its not as if it comes down to your turn that someone somewhere feels you've earned
You just learn to wait for sudden gifts of fate

You can celebrate, gifts are never late
You just learn to wait for sudden gifts of fate

dreaming again

I dreamed of the fiscal director who i work closely with at my job. In the dream, he had doctored the books and i called him on it.. there were positions in the budget that did not relate at all to my department.
I was threatening him and screaming at him that i was going to blow the whistle because what he was doing is.... i kept yelling and yelling and yelling in the dream
then i approached the executive director and spoke to him calmly and explained which positions in the budget that i objected to and asked him to remove them..

i then went back and screamed again at the fiscal director in the dream

i woke up in sweat and panic....

Capricorn Horoscope for week of June 30, 2005

Capricorn Horoscope for week of June 30, 2005

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Do you have an unconscious belief that the forces of evil are loud, vigorous, and strong, while good is quiet, gentle, and passive? If so, you'll soon get vivid evidence that will contradict your theory. Are you secretly suspicious of joy because you think it's inevitably rooted in wishful thinking and a willful ignorance about the true nature of reality? If so, your suspicions are about to be exposed as unfounded. Do you fear that when you're in the presence of love and beauty you tend to become softheaded, whereas you're likely to feel smart and powerful when sneering at the ugliness around you? Get ready to see an alternative possibility.

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