Thursday, March 31, 2005

sex offenders

Douglas Smith has 520 separate incidents of downloaded Kiddie Porn...

that aint not accident........

again, i hope that this country moves towards social policy on not tolerating sexual offenses against children...

what a backward place we live..... no right to Die, no gay marriage, no protection of the innocent and infirm and health care or equal education for pprotection of reproductive rights....

what century is this....

finding the news that is fit to print

My nonfiction friend Suzi (who is beginning to influence my Blog)-(okay, you were right I forgot Wisconsin) reads Salon faithfully.. she is a bit of a Nonfiction addict.
She reads the New Yorker- I subscribe and rarely get to it. I get New York, New Yorker, TIme out NY, weight watchers Magazine, Professional Social Work journals and the New Yokr TImes. I read the nation and Newsweek or Time or Sports Illustrated and Oprah at work.

I read the New York Post and Daily News when i can get it for free but buy it on Sundady and somedays I read My collegues Newsday. i pick up the Village Voice for its horoscope and arts sections

I subscribe to a number of online informational digests or synopsis and Hotsheet and bugmenot gives me instant access to any newspaper anywhere.

I read Mark Morford from the San Francisco Gate and always check the celtics on the Boston Globe pages. Id even read the Milford Daily News if it was on line.

I keep my eyes on the archives at randi rhodes's website

i am also stuck on reading the opinion columns at

i listen to NPR, WFUV, XPN when i am in their area. Air America and WFMU

i watch CNN, the today show, Food Network, Strange Love, Surreal life, nanny 911 ( recent acqusition) Pimp my ride, viva la Bam, desparate housewives, the apprentice ( when i am not in school on thursdays) and Letterman. I love watching Ellen when i can and Oprah is still a G-dess.. i watch Bravo on sundays at 8 for Lipton...

i wish i had a tivo but i dont... i dont have time for movies except when i go there and sit under the big screen....

i get my news from the weather report on the weather channel, i guess....

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Cohen cracks and lets light in

From Newsweek from a recent article entitled, "When Grace Arrives Unannounced" by
Andrew Sullivan, it spoke of a kidnapped victim using
her faith to turn her captor around.

"There's a line in a Leonard Cohen song that has
always stayed with me. It kept me going in a bleak
moment in my life, when I thought, as we all sometimes
do, that I couldn't see how good could come out of the
dreck I had turned my life into. "Forget your perfect
offering," Cohen advises. "There is a crack in
everything. That's how the light gets in."

taken from a post to the Mary Chapin Carpenter fan list

Gershwin plays rock music for free

Saturday it was pouring rain. The kind of rain that soaks you to the bone and makes your clothes stick..

I was on the subway going to Joes pub to see Susan Werner. I was sitting there listening to my nonIPOD Ipod and sitting next to me was 4 Teens. they were over 17 but still High Schoolers or maybe first year college guys. Onto the train, walked a guy from Brighton Beach with his clarinet. He slowly began to play "summertime"

One of the 4 young men who was holding his friend's Ipod told him that he could play that song . The other young man was not familiar with the song. It said it was rock music. I was listening to these two young men to make sure that they were talking about Summertime. They couldnt remember the name of the song.... as they kept talking about the song...I couldnt resist...

I told them.. it wasnt rock but was not really Jazz but the song comes from Porgy and Bess. It was written by George Gershwin as an opera. It was from the 30s. The young man who called it rock said.. he didnt know the name but could play it..and the other man was familar with "summertime"

the clarinetist came down our end of the train and I gave him a dollar. I asked him if he knew Joni MItchell's FOR FREE. I guess he thought i was making a request and in his broken english..he asked me if i wanted a classical piece. I asked him if he knew FOR FREE.. He played a classical piece and at the next stop got off the train..

For Free
by Joni Mitchell


I slept last night in a good hotel
I went shopping today for jewels
The wind rushed around in the dirty town
And the children let out from the schools
I was standing on a noisy corner
Waiting for the walking green
Across the street he stood
And he played real good
On his clarinet for free

Now me I play for fortunes
And those velvet curtain calls
I've got a black limousine
And two gentlemen
Escorting me to the halls
And I play if you have the money
Or if you're a friend to me
But the one man band
By the quick lunch stand
He was playing real good for free

Nobody stopped to hear him
Though he played so sweet and high
They knew he had never
Been on their T.V.
So they passed his music by
I meant to go over and ask for a song
Maybe put on a harmony
I heard his refrain
As the signal changed
He was playing real good for free


Copyright © Siquomb Publishing Company

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

attacking the right to birth control on Pharmacist at a time


ActForChange and Working Assets are proud to bring you an urgent alert from NARAL Pro-Choice America, the leading national advocate for personal privacy and a woman’s right to choose. This urgent action calls on our nation’s biggest pharmacies to ensure that they fill women’s prescriptions for birth control, including the morning-after pill. It may seem like common sense to you and me, but in as many as 20 states, pharmacies can refuse to fill such prescriptions.

NARAL Pro-Choice America Foundation is one of the 50 outstanding nonprofits being supported by Working Assets, ActForChange’s parent company, this year, and we're proud to all be working together in support of reproductive freedom.

I urge you to take action below in support of women’s reproductive rights. Together, we are making a difference.

Jennifer Willis

Dear ActForChange Member,

It usually happens like this: a woman goes to her doctor and receives her birth control prescription, and then gets it filled at the pharmacy. Right? Wrong. Welcome to the anti-choice movement’s latest — and most insidious — attack on a woman’s right to choose.

Here’s what’s happening: In as many as 20 states, pharmacies are able to refuse to fill women’s prescriptions for contraception — including the morning-after pill.

It’s truly outrageous. When a woman and her doctor decide that a prescription for contraception is in the woman’s best interest, a third party has no right to override that decision. Pharmacies must ensure that their customers get their doctor-prescribed medication without delay or inconvenience.

Click here to tell our nation’s biggest pharmacies — Wal-Mart, CVS, Rite Aid, Walgreens and Eckerd — not to stand between a woman and her physician.

We know that access to birth control prevents unintended pregnancies and reduces the need for abortion. So, it makes no sense that politicians and pharmacies are making it harder for women to get their pills instead of making them more accessible.

Get outraged at this intrusion into medical privacy, and join NARAL Pro-Choice America in ensuring that our pharmacies fill women’s birth control prescriptions.

Click here to learn more and sign the letter to pharmacies.

Nancy Keenan, President
NARAL Pro-Choice America

[] Please forward this newsletter to your friends and help spread the word about this important campaign!

nature and how i see the world each morning

i never appreciated nature or took the time to look at the natural world around me. within the last two years, i have not only paid attention to nature but have spent more time outdoors.. NO like hiking as my friend suzi in ORegon and the oregonians do.. I find that hard and boring...
but i like to ride and walk in nature...the nature that is around me...

i drive through prospect park each morning.. i have come on enjoy those moments and have taken to turning the radio off so i can take in the view. The view of the lake, the ducks, the road and the trees and grass.. the walkers and the dog run on the great lawn that is only open til 9am( NYC dog laws state that dogs have to be on their leashes after 9am) so i watch the dogs run with their owner sipping coffee.. all while i am driving to the parkway...

on the sides of the parkway, are the cemetaries... the ones i see going to work are active.... i see the frontloaders digging new graves, the new flowers, the mortuary cars, the lines of mourners and burials... I watch the flowers wilt and die off and the teddy bears and other items left behind get old..

on my way home, i see another older cemetary but i dont really look at it because i spend more time looking at the magnificent skyline view of Manhattan... no one really sees it and you have to look through the trees... but i look every night and glimpes of the lights going on or Manhattan lit up at night in winter.. is stunning

there is a baseball field that goes from brown to green to filled with kids playing little league..

i walk to the park near my house.. the same park i drive through each morning- i see the natural world of NY through the park at the park....

i have come to appreciate the change of seasons, the fall that i have always loved, summer with the steaming streets of ny and stinking trash heaps and you cant cool off no matter what you do, and finally winter, the bitter cold that i complain about, the snow that interupts my routine and impacts my parking and commute..*sometimes you need a driveway* in NYC...and now spring..with a special light night sky, crisp cool breeze and clear nights where you can see the stars...the spring that i never really liked til this spring..spring is all around with the flowers blooming and new life appearing,

something about spring this year is special.... its in the air....

Michael Jackson trial

IN the last few weeks, there have been 3 major child sex abuse cases..

Jessica in Florida is dead because of a sex offender

Jetsetta is dead in Iowa because of a sex offender

some guy who had 39 years with the boy scouts was arrested for kiddie porn

Michael JAckson is on trial for sex offenses...and child molestation allegations

the kids i have worked with are not dead, but a piece of them dies when they are sexually abused.. A piece of their childhood is lost, a piece of them gets cut off..

i hope that this press is not seen as a "JACKSON conspiracy" but rather an opportunity to create real social change and real protection of children

the cemetary on ocean parkway

tonight, i crossed the parkway to get over to the cemetary, the same one that i visited on sunday... From the parkway, i saw large granite structure with the names.. Rosenberg, Robinson, Lipper, Adlerman, Levy .... all containing the remains of those family members

Tonight, i was again on the outside looking through the fence. I saw new graves where the dirt was freshly dug and flowers fresh. I saw the carved faces of the Russians who now occupied the space where the Jewish Immigrants of the 20s, 30s, and 40s were buried.. the Russians carve their dead on the stone from a picture.. Some of the pictures were older then the people and did not represent them at the time of death, so you get to look into the face of the dead person... it makes you wonder more about them when you can see them..

I saw graves covered with cloth, the jewish ritual of unvailing which occurs around the year anniversary of the death of the person.. I saw newly unveiled graves with fresh flowers..

I looked at the coop apartments where the residents have a cemetary view but Also a stunning Verrazano bridge view... i think i would like the cemetary view...

I walked around ave M and came on the cemetary from the McDonald ave side and tried to read the stones that were posts that marked the cemetary boundaries but couldnt..

My facination with the cemetary started in winter... and now its not so dark when i walk.. so i see more that the cemetary has to offer... .just another thing the spring has to offer....



Forget talking about the Irish Dream.....

Get back to work and stop reading my Blog

Monday, March 28, 2005

two more dreams

I dreamed saturday night about working for Reba McIntire... I was at a place that resembled the Bottom Line... or the Birchmere in VA... Reba was the main act and i was there working, assigned to her...
After the show, she was about to do a meet and Greet and i saw my friend FAY....
i didnt know Fay was at the show and she said she bought a ticket..
i turned to REBA to introduce her to FAy.. then in the dream, i thought...FAy must already know her (as fay knows lots of country artists) and i woke up...

saturday, i was telling my friend dave that i was going to see RebA with fay at the PNC arts center... and friday REBA was on ellen...

Last night, i dreamed that Patty Griffin had a different job... she was applying to be a teacher...I asked if it was Patty Griffin the red headed singer and she appeared...

i know that i wanted to go back to sleep to see how hte dream ends...but the alarm clock rang and i had to get up...

Sunday, March 27, 2005


i remember when easter meant that the stores were closed, the restaurants were closed and there was nothing to do.. Today didnt feel like easter.. it felt like a sunday...

I didnt sleep well.. my apartment is very hot and my cat is very active and i drank a ton of water yesterday...So i was tired when i got up ... My new Italian Espresso coffee did the trick and woke me up .... i went out for the papers and come home to work out and decided that i really didnt want to waste money on Melinda/Melinda or on RObots so i would walk and come home and putter...

I started my ave M walk and realized it was early enough to go into the cemetary that i wwalk by everynight.. I entered the cemetary and walked the aisles.. I saw new russian graves.. and old Jewish graves. The first stones i saw belonged to Rosenbergs... I thought this is the type of cemetary that Julius and Ethel would have been buried in..

hte oldest grave i saw was from the cant read the stones anymore.. I saw Goldbergs and Weiners and Schwartz and Stein .. I saw the markers that read that the person was born in germany and died in 1933....before the Holocaust.. here in america already..

I saw new russian graves in two languages.. the russian replaces the yiddish ... i saw graves of a 5 year, a 33 year old, a 46 year old.. I wondered how they died..
I picked up a bench that had fallen over.. I left stones at markers i visited..
I visited strangers today but they were familiar to me.. They were my people, they were my grandparents and their neighbors and shul members..

i thought about their family now moved away from Brooklyn so no one visits them now.. the families in NJ and LI and in Florida

I walked and walked and then exited and walked to the fruit store and walked home..

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Purim 2005

I walked to the grocery store thursday and it was purim. the feast of esther (not easter).. the kids were dressed in costume and there were parties in the catering halls.. THere were cars of hasids going and coming and celebrating

Friday (good friday) i was on my way to a meeting in Manhattan.. I was very aware it wsas good friday but it was also purim... I ran into lubavitch youth who were delivering shalach munos- they offered me a box and when i said i didnt need it.. they sked me to distribute it and asked for coins for the charity box. i fished coins from my pocket and then at my ACS meeting, i passed on parts of the gift package i received.. they fulfilled their mission and i fulfilled my religious obligation

terri schiavo

Let Terri Schiavo die in peace. I believe that this national attention is actually abusing her and defacing the name of someone who is dying. I understand her parents desparation but i cannot understand WHY congress or the President got involved in this personal matter.

I remember when this story was on 60 minutes years ago. . I think the mudsling and reporting of improperities on Michael Schiavo's part, is out of line. Both parties, her parents and her husband have their own personal investments in Terri's death..

why isnt anyone talking about the dangers of eating disorders?

I went to the grocery store on thursday night.. i walked to shop rite and on my way home... Holy Thursday... when i got to St Rose Lima the doors were open.... i have never been inside so i went inside

it looks like the italian roman catholic church on my childhood... so i went to view the stations of the cross and see the saints.... I wanted to light a candle...
I found St rose of Lima and lit a candle and prayed for hte death of Terri Schiavo

on moving on

I wrote this to a friend who reported he would not race or wait overnight to get the new Bruce Springsteen CD that is due out in late April...He fears that the days of speeding down the NJ turnpike to his Bruce Springsteen cds are gone...
so i wrote...

I have similar artists that represent a time of my life and when i
left it behind, i left the artists too.. but sometimes now i put em
on, recapture the time of my life,.. sometimes i smile and grin,
sometimes i spit with disgust or sometimes, i feel fear....

the day will come when you will put BS on and it will mean what was seen then...
kinda like Lillian Hellman's beginning of Pentimento..
things shine through so i can look at them for what they were then, now...

its nice to move on....

on stopping smoking

its been 7 years since i fought to stop smoking. I didnt want to do
it..and i did it over presidents day weekend.
the first few months were fine and the 6-12 were the hardest time of
my life. I found it a time that i needed someone to call to have a cup
of coffee...
i gained 40 lbs... ended up with some underlying anxiety and
depression that was being masked by the smoke all those years
I walked 6 miles a day home from work and ate about 1 meal a day.. i
really didnt know what to do with food because we smoke after food,
before food with food...
i ate a lot of gum and mints and cracked most of the fillings in mouth
and replaced all my old silver fillings with white ones... i also
bought caps
there are two laptops in my mouth
After about a year of stopping and gaining weight, i started shopping
for used cds rather than stick around the house... I recommend you
see what you replace smoking with
i ended up hating my job not because i stopped smoking but it created
a change that led to other my life
when i was not functioning and anxious.... i went into therapy for 20
weeks and ended up finding a new way of looking at me, at things at
life without cigarettes and managing my emotional life and a new job
i lost the weight after about 5 years... again my old methods didnt
work... i had maintained a weight loss for 10 years... but couldnt get
these 40lbs off...
i went to Weight Watchers and i am still there..
i crave cigarettes every now and then
i love the smell of fresh smoke... i tell people how hard stopping was
for me... and i dont recommend it for anyone.. i dont like the smell
of stale smoke on clothes or my staff ... i dont care if people smoke
in my house but i prefer the dont because I am left with the smell
i cleaned closets this summer and old boxes smelled of old dead smoke...
you will find what it means to you... expect outcomes you never expected..
i found that flying meant NOT having to look for a place to smoke..
i found that restaurants or meeting meant not looking to go outside..
there are places i smoked that remind me that i smoked there.....
the bathroom in the beacon STINKS.....with smokers in the basement....
i am glad i dont smoke and the pain level in quitting was so hard i
cant go back.....
stopping smoking was humbling and crumbling...
this is just my story....

good luck...reach out if you need
ask for what you need
be humble....

Thursday, March 24, 2005


I met a young woman who was reading a Tale of Two Cities. She attends our girls group. Latasha is 4'8 at the most and 90lbs. She wears her hair short and back with a head band. She has round wire rim glasses that always seem to be falling down her nose. She looks like a mouse and speaks like a lion.

I met her when i stopped into the group to ask them to decided to quit early due to a snow storm and i saw the Tale of Two Cities. I met a young woman who at 17 is charming and alive with expectations and has a killer sense of humor. She is more than likable, she is a bubble of energy. we talked about Dickens and Tale of TWo Cites, mostly. the best of times and worst of times. It was day and it was night.

I met Latasha again this week. She was hanging out with a Supervisor. I learned that Latasha was referred by the school for services and adds alot to the group. I learned she lives in a shelter and her mother has a case of neglect with the city. Based on her not going to school or not doing " the right thing"
i met her again this week and she informed me she came from court. She has been convicted of assault. She really didnt want to tell me that and due to that she has to go to RIkers Island or jail in june. I found this out as i was asking her what she was doing this summer. She is going to Jail.
this petite young woman is doing 2 months time. I asked her if she was afraid and she said no...2 months is better than 3-7 years which is her sentance.
I asked if she could get community service as i would sponsor her efforts. She said it was too late for that..
as she is going to jail, i asked her how she would use her time. We have already talked about her reading and SHe is reading the JUngle now( i told her she would never eat meat again)
Latasha has a sense of humor and sense of herself and the world. This woman who is 17 will be going to jail. I suspect someone will care for her or eat her up ... She will not return the same young woman
She admits to doing something stupid and now having to take responsibility for it.

she is bright and not has tarnished her future as she has restricted some of the professions she can choose. or can choose her

she will go to prision with composition books to write her story or poetry and pencils and stamps and whatever else i can send with her. She doesnt want her GED but rather wants a high school dipolma. She is going to Jail with a SAT prep book. She says she took her sats and got a 970 so she wont take em again.
She printed a list of items she can take to jail so i will help her with some of them. Her mother will put some $$ in the commissary account so she rent a walk man. Maybe she should learn a language.
she and i talked about Blogs and Xanga accounts. She has no computer.

Latasha will go to jail in june and return in August. i would like to get her a job..
her goals are to be independant. she needs to have a plan to get there.. going away to college on scholarship is a way out . She is bright and talented and has a future ...

She has a future... she needs to find her future..
Capricorn Horoscope for week of March 24, 2005

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
In all of North America, from Oaxaca, Mexico to Canada's Prince Edward island, there is only one state, province, or territory that does not yet have a McDonald's fast-food restaurant. It is Nunavut, in northern Canada, which the Inuit people inhabit at a density of about one person per 3,300 square miles. You should be like Nunavut in the coming week, Capricorn: unspoiled by mediocre food, vulgar entertainment, crass commercialism, and cheap plastic anything. Be like a vast, pristine empire that's immune to soul-deadening crap.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

nakid again

Aint you sick of the Epstein barr Virus.... I sure am...i wish it would go away but it aint gonna go away....

I am having these dreams that i am walking around naked .... i am everywhere Nakid...i am totally comfortable in my nakedness....

I have been meaning to write about my naked body... I think it all started when i went to florida to see susan moss and we went swimming naked at night (we stole that from Mary CHapin carpenter) as i had never done it before...

or i should say it all started at age 5 when i started my first diet... My body and i have never really been on speaking terms.. we tolerate each other.. each of my weight gains and losses and gains and losses.. have traumatized my body...

there are many areas that i would have wanted to have fixed over the years...

so i have been at tolerance with my body... not at war...

i went to the GYN in feb and spent most of the time nakid without the sheet and walked around the office and talked to Dr L without my clothes and i noticed i was totally comfortable.. I am more relaxed in my skin...
i am accepting of the lumps and bumps and curves and markings that make it mine..

i am comfortable in my skin.... so i was alarmed when i first saw myself nakid in a dream and with each subsequent dream where i am naked. i am more comfortable..

i thought i was dreaming about myself naked because i am doing a QA project at work that is rendering my work and department naked.... and i am accountable for it...

but i think i am just getting more comfortable in my skin

welcome to 45.....

welcome to epstein barr virus... NOW go away....

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

monday- two different views

monday i stayed home from work, feeling lousy and it comes in waves ...for a few moments i felt good.. I think taking my cornsyrup vitamins didnt help. they are chocolate but not so good for me.. Same thing happened today.. i have to lay off those vitamins...

i also am back to the yeast thing...somehow that all fits too...

but that is not what i wanted to blog....

I got a call, not that i answer my phone but i got a call from Terry from FUV who is the volunteer coordinator... she and i were talking and she is STAGE 4 Cancer and in 3 chemotheraphies.. her advise to me is was simple.. Honor your body and what it needs and take care of the messages it sends you.. If you need rest, rest... if you need to move move... etc..
She does what she can when she can and chucks the all gets done...

then i called patty... and she said me, if EPV is life threatening or could i change it...No... So she told me to ignore it... to live as if i didnt have it..or know about it..

two diverse and different views... CAn i ignore it.. NO i can push through it and push myself ....
can i honor it? no, i dont give in that much..
am i taking care of what i need... that is what i am trying to do..

it doesnt help when you dont feel well....

Monday, March 21, 2005

telling my friends about the EBV

I am writing to you all to because its easier than doing it individually and its easier to explain this way....

some of you know or have questioned where i have been for about a year. I have not been out and about 1/2 as much except for Dar shows or the summer with mary chapin... I have not been able to muster the energy to burn candles at both ends. I have been on my job and without an assistant director, i have been doing two jobs... I have also been teaching... So you say... sharon no wonder you are tired

i have been tired and stayed home a few times and are wiped after events like clearwater... i thought it was because i had been sleep deprived and getting up at 6am and never getting enough rest.... its partially true..

i had a killer case of bronchitis this xmas season and i started to feel that i had not recovered.. during february, a favorite month, i would try to go for my favorite walk and find that i could only muster a few blocks til i wanted to go home to rest.but i would not.. id walk on and keep walking....
i could not make plans because i didnt know if i would have the energy to go.
or if i did what would my energy level be... I could maintain my 5 mile a day walk though... i wanted to be close to home...

I wanted to keep nights free and saturday espeically... My friend nancy asked me if i was depressed. NO my social worker friend chris confirmed he didnt think i had a "mood disorder"
some of you went through my "may be i have a system over run with yeast" and i started reading about "yeast connection" i have alot of the major symptoms of a yeasted system....

i have gained 12 lbs over the summer adn cant get em off etc blah so i took my self to my doctor..
my GYN wouldnt treat the whole being....

but he recommended i get a blood test.... Lyme disease, Diabetes, anemia, hypothyroid ( i have those symptoms too) and epstein barr..

well, i went to my Gp and got my blood done and everything is fine except the Epstein Barr...

i tested postive and mostly you will too- 75% of us do.

but for me it means i have to watch my internal gas tank.... I have to monitor... 1/2 full.and watch when i am getting to a 1/4 tank and i have to fill it up again.. i am learning limits and cant burn the candle at all ends... if i go out on the dar road... i have to temper my night and instead of driving home three hours. and arriving home at the wee hours .... .. i have to stay over and drive the next day...

my doctor suggested.... reduce stress- i ve been looking for a new job anyway and had an interview this week.. i will keep looking to cut down on stress.... who knows... maybe ill move from NYC to a less stressful place.. I was thinking about before the EBV diagnosis....

maintain a healthy diet.... I have already cut out refine white foods and added grains and brown ones and i pass on the dessert cart ( if you know me ... you know i pass on the dessert anyway.. Weight watchers not epstein barr)
and lastly get rest....

i have to learn to temper myself.... and i have to take a page from teh susan moss songbook and learn i cant do it all .. and shouldnt.... i have to pace myself... when i have strength i do what i can... (too much )and if i kick the crap out of myself... i will pay teh piper and be wiped out..

i have felt like me for two days since xmas... the tired is behind your eyes and i get intellectually numb and cant find words... I dont sleep through the night and go to bed before the morning papers being read by aaron brown or before i find out who wins is kitchen stadium..

i am actually fine and learning to manage with a weakened immune system and live with MONOnucleous and is a version of chronic fatigue.....

there is no treatment for EBV and sometimes they treat the symptoms... Mine isnt severe... i call it mild but i have to learn to manage it..
i havent met with my doctor yet because she wants to do a whole physical

its seems like a cosmic joke... all those years of working til 9or 10 pm and then reclaiming my life at 38 for me and now having to slow down... it doenst mean stop but pace myself and get rest when i need it...
not a bad lesson for us all...

i am not sure what the summer will bring or how am about to manage next week... at least, it has a name and is mine....

its weird ... my mom asks me what my energy level is? and i tell her....

.... and i am just now starting to tell people whats going on... and wanted to start with my friends...


thank you letter to friends

I wanted to write and thank you all for your support and suggestions and offers for your couches and guest rooms and remedies and suggestions. I am still exploring and figuring out what i need to do for myself. I am trying to pace my energy and rest when i need to. I am figuring out the limits but the tricky thing is that they change based on what i am doing, physical vs emotional energy, what foods i am eating or not eating, how much exercise and how much sleep i am getting or needing..

i really have to focus on myself and my needs and after 25 years of being a social worker, its a relief. I have been moving in that direction in the last 5. From my leaving foster care where the agency expected all of your blood sweat and tears to this one where they expect a solid 9-5. I have been free to give to myself what i need and learn that i dont have to take care of others, they are most capable to care for them selves.. Interdependant vs codependant type stuff... and now i can focus on myself..

i can live in teh moment and make the best of the moments when i feel well and those when i dont.

Yoga, meditation, slowing the system down makes sense. I am gonna look into carving in more time for those activities. I retained my weight management programs and eating healthy without white flours and reducing sugar.

i have to get to my GP and meet with her and figure out the right cocktail of vitamins. Some friends recommended a doctor of eastern medicine in chinatown or alternatives to western medicine.

they all sound interesting... til then i rest when i need and keep learning more and more about what i need...

thanks for all your suggestions and support and positive energy.. i can use all the help i can

best and love to you all


monday and my limit


i never quite recovered from Friday night. I wonder if it was the two weeks of stress that preceeded it or what it the stress of getting to bed atr 3am. Saturday, i walked to park slope and the grocery store and put away my groceries and then my accountant came to do my taxes. I was tired when he left. I had to get up on sunday to let the repairman in to do my bathroom. That mild stress of having to get up at 8am and clear out the bathroom...
Sunday, i was gonna go to Manhattan but it was raining. I went to Park slope to go to B&N to get a gift. I walked in the rain and cold and got really tired. I wanted to nap so i came home, cold and wet and began to read midterms..

The midterms SUCK by the way... those students arent doing the assignment and arent doing their reading. They arent getting it....

back to my lying on the couch... i started to drift as Alton Brown was making tomato sauces and started to sleep... It was 645 and i couldnt quite fall asleep .

I started to feel like i caught the flu... I knew i wasnt feeling well..I suspected i would be home today. I am home today.

i should have went to bed. and I have to learn to go to bed when i am tired..
it was desparate housewife sunday and i stayed up....i couldnt read the paper, teh words were blurry and i didnt have the attention for the reading of fine print..
it another symptom....

i had dinner and ate popcorn and went to sleep... I fell asleep and havent quite woke up..

I wanted to control the noise level yesterday. which is a clue and i wanted to control the temperature... I want it colder..
I went to sleep and woke at 4am and then got up at 615 and fed the Madame... (who will not leave my side) i went back to sleep til 8 and want more sleep. The coffee isnt kicking in and i am just tired

for the first time, i started to think that I just want to feel good. .feel rested.. have energy and have the capacity to do what i want... My body isnt letting me today.. which knows better....

so i will take it easy today and read those midterms again and sleep if i want to and read the paper.. if i can

Saturday, March 19, 2005

figuring out what i need

yesterday, i drove from Queens to Sellersville Pa to see Dar. Dar is a treat always. She previewed a new song called Beautiful Enemy. its a great song. I told Dar about the Epstein Barr or rather i blurted it out when she asked how i was...She calmed turned to me and said...Sharon you are one of busiest people i know, always showing us up so what now you can only do 5 things not your usual 6. Dar was right. She also knew the cycle of rest and how the energy and disease can come in waves. we talked about the treatment and how i have started to learn to manage the disease.
She was cool and on hte money. She recognized that i am taking care of my self and doing what i need to maintain my health..

I told her that driving home late meant i would not be in pittsfield. I could never do it. I am making wise choices... except that i drove home after 11pm last night. It was friday night and i was tired to begin with .... I ended up being very tired and was happy to get home at 130am. i went to bed at 3am and got up at 6 (thanks to ms whoopi) and then went back to bed til 9pm

i am tired from the driving and its worn on me most of the day

i used my saturday to relax. I walked in the 50 degree spring weather to do my errands. I took advantage of the weather and that i had to be around because my accountant was coming to do my taxes. About 4pm, i got very tired and took myself home only to go to the grocery store. while walking, i was thinking that i am gonna enjoy talking care of myself, and pacing myself.

the continuum is that i took care of a lot of people and slowly, i started taking better and better care of me. I am focussing on my needs and meeting those needs first. to recognized what i need and meet those is hte best thing i can do for myself. To take the time to give myself what i need is a gift and i am going to take advantage of that for myself. I really dont have much of choice or I will be flat out on back...

Thursday, March 17, 2005


i ran into the filming crew of RENT in soho today and ran into them on my way out of school...

they were making snow and coloring with black paint....

they are working on RENT in soho....

they made me detour and walk down broadway....i hated that

the week from mild hell

i had a crapper of a day... Monday was a great day... I went to work late but worked late but Tuesday I was tired and worn down. I went to a budget meeting and it became a fest where my boss was out of line. He was rude and short and "punched" me around... his words... he has been using that word a lot.... I ended up in tears and walked while steaming

it reminded me of those days at st josephs only without the fear and anxiety... I dont like to be treated that way or spoken to in that manner.. he is generally purposeful and i am not suppose to ask questions that would results in a look into questions about how my program is budgeted.. I have never slinked off or backed off from this type or event or fight and i said my piece...

i have to learn how to take care of myself in these emotionally draining situations...and care for me...

it was just stressful.... i recovered on wednesday and have had full days... and nights and cant wait til saturday... i am off to PA tomorrow to howl at the moon for a dar show

Fox goes to the Hen house

Wolfowitz Gets Bush Nomination for World Bank??

aint this something... ????

week of March 17th

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): March 18 is Awkward Moments Day. It was created by the authors of the book, Awkward Moments: Celebrating the Humor in Life's Uncomfortable Situations. They tout the value of harnessing opportunities that open up when you or someone else does something embarrassing, clumsy, or clueless. I suggest you try exactly what they recommend, Capricorn. More than any other sign of the zodiac, you now have the potential to take maximum advantage of everything that's dicey, thorny, and ticklish.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Stop stressing me UPS- needless worry

I checked my order that i refused to worry about this weekend only to find out that my WORRY would have been in vain because the person that i talked with on friday, put a hold on my package and it was sent for pick at the center. I never intended to pick it up nor could i make the hours of pickup

So i am sure gald i didnt worry about the package ALL weekend because it would have been meaningless worry. I asked for this package to be rerouted to me at work as i should have had it routed to begin with

UPS screwed this order up badly.. .wrong names, wrong information, lack of delivery and accountabilty. they sucked on this one...and i told them so...

after a long day ... at work, im getting tired and going home

sunday and taking care of me

As i am still figuring out this EBV impact and i have been thinking about how and when to tell people and who. i came across little life events that would normally have me in a temporary tailspin-
I ordered a computer and had to sent to my home. i had difficulty getting someone to take this for me. UPS delivery has been hard but not a nightmare. They put the computer in my neighbors name and i have had to get them on phone to make sure that in fact that it was my computer to be delivered. I tried to get my neighbor to accept the computer for me. It been a series of snags. I found out friday that the delivery did not happen. I had a choice. To pick it up or wait til monday to have to rerouted. picking it up would be more expeditious but having it rerouted would mean waiting all weekend to call dell. i decided that i would make my life easier and have the computer rerouted but i would leave the slip. I thought maybe my neighbor who was also waiting for a computer would take mine. So i put it out of my mind and decided i cant change it til monday.

Then i reserved sunday night to see my accountant, he came down about 530 to tell me he had to take his kid to the psychiatrist so he could not get to me til after 9pm. i initially accepted his offer because doing my taxes is more important...Whoa.. i went back to see him and renegotiated for him to come on saturday night as he couldnt reschedule for next sunday. (this week would have been best- no desperate housewives)
but after Dar on friday in PA, i am free saturday. I knew we would not start my taxes til almost 930 and 3 hours would get us to midnight and 6 hours of sleep would not be enough. i was relieved at establishing a routine that met my needs .

I went to bed at 10 after grocery shopping and decided to get up at my regular time even though i dont have to be in manhattan til 10 and call dell and then i decided with time on my hands, to do my wash.

at first i thought it was taking a page from my friend susan who learned long ago you cant do everything so what has to be suspended but i am learning that i dont have to get it all in when i plan it. I may have to postpone things, not forget them or neglect them but postpone them . i have to remember what really matters and what is really important. I have to remember that my needs are primary and the taxes will get done, the computer will come in time, and the rest can wait til i get to it..

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Dar Lyrics that are speaking volumes to me

"I danced a lot of nights until the grass was wet
It wasn't over yet
'Round 'bout 3 a.m. you made a friend
And I followed a lot of vital crazy thoughts
Because it's where the meaning was
And I tried to find it every other way

So farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
My life is getting better now
But always changing anyhow "

I guess those days are over or have to be tempered...

"Guiding a ship, it takes more than your skill
It's the compass inside it's the strength of your will"
we learned the sea

"I promised the fields I'd return from now on
And the moon kept on rising
I had no more to say
I put my roadmaps away
And surrendered the day"

"And the best ones were the ones I got to keep as I grew strong,
And the days that opened up until my whole life could belong,
And now I'm getting the answers, when I don't need them anymore,
I'm finding the pictures, and I finally know what I kept them for,
I remember, I can see them, see them smiling, see them stuck,
See them try, I wish them luck and all the blessings. "

saturday or sunday arent always a day of rest

i knew on friday night or earlier that i have pushed myself a little to far this week. learning where i could cut or Having to cut back will be a process.. kinda like relearning when i am hungry or full or not eating when i am not hungry. If you know me, you know what i am talking about

so i have been knowing that i was testing the boundaries of my tired limit and focussing on Tired is new. In the past, it was just perpetually tired, now it Tired and i have to monitor that. i expected a crash

I went to bed on friday TIRED. i woke up on saturday at 4am, 6am with my wakeup clock cat and then at 730. Normally that would have been enough sleep, It wasnt but i knew i made a promise to Amy to go meet her NJ. i was tired and getting lost and getting stuck behind a train and going 1 hour out of my way didnt help . NOw i have a reason to be cranky or tired ot aggrevated or that i am more senstive to it.. OH My EBV is kicking in ... maybe it is.. or maybe im just tired.
i got tired walking around the mall and felt the change and needed water and to rest and boy did i need food.
Dinner was a blessing and great food as well. Grilled veggies, grilled swordfish with a olive oil and tomato drizzle.
I knew that seeing susan werner is a blessing and curse. I missed susan and seeing george and susan(his wife) and Jane her roadie..
its been over a year and it was like a homecoming...I was embraced by my susan werner friends...
I had coffee at dinner and then at the coffeehouse church. I am starting to use coffee to get me through. I would have had it anyway..but now i am using it as a tool to get me over humps when i can get to go to sleep. Its a tool...its a tool.. its a tool.

But i still had over an hour to drive home.. I got home after midnight and went to bed after 1am..
i have been to bed that late in a year so i sleep, getting up at 4 and then at 8. I am tired but the 40 degree day makes me want to move or go out( maybe its just the coffee)
i want to go to manhattan, i want to go to the grocery store. I have to have my taxes done, i have to gather the last minute receipts,and i have to clean off the table.

i have to manage stress... Traffic is stressful, making wrong turns is stressful, bring late is stressful. worrying is stressful ...i have to relax and start to release so of the little things
Stressing over the delivery of my computer and UPS is stressing me out...
Work will always be somewhat stressful ......i can look for a less stressful job..or reduce the stress

eating well is not a problem or always a problem...i have to do it... fruit and veggies and exercise is part of my life.

i have to get more rest, schedule more rest and learn tired and not burn the midnight oil... i will learn the boundaries and learn what it means

Thursday, March 10, 2005

tired again

today, i knew i was tired. i had trouble driving home from queens and then had to go to class.. i needed sugar and ate a few chocolate lifesavers for the sugar and then had a cup of black coffee

i started to think.. how far can i push myself before the crash... i have to relearn how to manage tired..
its scary to think that i will always feel so tired and i have had ONE rested day since before xmas...

i have to manage food

someone recommended an eastern doctor in chinatown to check me and prescribe herbs and veggie tea...

i am still getting used to Epstein Barr - i still dont want to tell anyone..

Epstein Barr strikes and i respond

Blogging my diagnosis or symptoms got me thinking about the process that i am learning and living.. I was beat yesterday, pain behind my eyes... so tired i could fall sleep standing... getting up in the morning is a problem most days.
I got up and moving and i am fine but not quite feeling fine, i guess the caffeine kicks in ....

i went to adelphi and went to the dean's meeting and had a cup of coffee upon Marlene the admin asst's secretary ... it was good and i had about 4oz wondering if it would keep me awake
I got home and decided to do my wash and puttered around til it was done and ate a huge salad...
I was satisfied but still found a need to eat... First a fudge bar, then a few tsp of Sf FF pudding and the i was gonna make popcorn ... why i thought.. i am tired not hungry... what is the need so i had a baked ricotta treat i made instead and went to bed

... the desire... SUGAR...the need to sleep...i was tired and my body craved sugar

i am gonna have to pay attention to the food connection and the desires vs the need
mostly i need to sleep not eat.

i will be learning to give in to body's desire or to see what happens when i push me..
I have been tired all week... i am pushing myself to accomplish my job and the task required... well i could have skipped the deans meeting but the politics and PR for my job and me is worth it...
i have to teach to night so its a late night again... and then the end of the week is near...

i want to see how my body reacts and how i have to learn to readjust

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Epstein Barr so that is what it is

for the last year, i have not felt well. There are times i feel better than others. but then again, there are times that i am bagged out, feeling like i have the flu, Bone tired like bronchitis and with a pain behind my eyes. In the last few months, the amount of tired has increased. It has started to get in the way of my making plans because i may be too tired to go to manhattan after work. Sometimes, when i make the effort, its worth it... most time i am tired or tired the next day. What is different than my burning the candle at all ends. the idea that I would not do something or have to stay close because i may be tired and feelings that my life is impaired. This month, or February... my usual 5 mile walk is a struggle. I have to push myself to get to the park and not turn around and go home, sometimes i get in a groove and push on and i walk walk walk on... sometimes i cut my walk short and take the bus home...

I noticed the tiredness was happening more frequently and after an 11 lbs weight gain last summer that i cannot get off, i started to look into Yeast connections and then hypothryoid because i have symptoms of both disorder. memory impairment, chronic yeast related infections, spaciness, lack of attention or focus...
some friends asked if i had ADD or whether i was depressed... I didnt think i had a mood disorder so i made my annual appointment with my GYN who listened to my symptoms and asked me to go to my GP for a blood scan and work up

he suggested thyroid, diabetes, lyme disease, epstein barr and anemia
well i called my Gp and went into get a script for blood work and to talk to her. She listened to me and remarked... i probably didnt have any and when ever my weight loss or gain is affected i try to rule out something organic.. I explained this was different.. i am too tired to complain and i feel my life is impaired by the inability to plan recreation or to walk ... something isnt right that i feel sick all the time.. first i thought it was bronchitis which i had but i havent snapped back..

the new food program that i am on is the healthiest that i have eaten. Is based on volumetrics and white refined is out for whole grains, i eat when i am hungry and feast on veggies and fruit( 3 a day limit for me due to sugar senstivity) and protein.. more protein than i have eaten.. baked tofu.. fish... etc i am eating better than i have in years and my blood sugar is stable....i feel good about food...

i went the next day sunday to Kings highway for blood work and waited for hte results. I called my GP who reviewed them and told me all is fine except i tested Postitive for Epstein Barr..
there is no treatment except control stress, eat well, take vitamins, get sleep and take care of myself..

i immediately was relieved I had something organic that had a name.. then i wanted to tell everyone and refrained.. i cant decide besides my boss and family and close friends who to tell...

i know that i have to learn to manage my Epstein Barr.. no more late night or all nighters unless i want to pay the price... no wonder why after exerting myself i am wiped.. the mondays after clearwater or long weekends with no sleep... i am too tired to pick my head up off the pillow...

I began to look on line and know its an automimmune disease with no cure.. you can control it but never remove it.. its like mononucleosis or a virus of sorts..

i refrained from talking about it today but realized in the car home from an adjunct meeting that i will never feel well again.. i may have moments of being rested and feeling well but mostly i have to learn how to live feeling lousy

I am tired all week and worked late night, i am tired to night and went to my adjunct meeting and i feel the pain behind my eyes... I teach tomorrow night and when my wash is done and i have dinner.. i have to go to bed.. Getting up this morning was hard but i could do it..

i parked tuesday and wednesday for alternate side parking in case i cant go to work and i dont have to move my car... that may become part of my routine.. planning for rest.. planning days off... staying over places rather than pulling all nighters and plenty of rest ...

i dont know what it means just yet to have epstein barr... i just know what it means not to feel good....or rested....

You haven't done nothing Stevie wonder

We are amazed but not amused
By all the things you say that you'll do
Though much concerned but not involved
With decisions that are made by you

But we are sick and tired of hearing your song
Telling how you are gonna change right from wrong
'Cause if you really want to hear our views
"You haven't done nothing"!

It's not too cool to be ridiculed
But you brought this upon yourself
The world is tired of pacifiers
We want the truth and nothing else

And we are sick and tired of hearing your song
Telling how you are gonna change right from wrong
'Cause if you really want to hear our views
"You haven't done nothing"!

Jackson 5 join along with me say
Doo doo wop - hey hey hey
Doo doo wop - wow wow wow
Doo doo wop - co co co
Doo doo wop - naw naw naw
Doo doo wop - bum bum bum
Doo doo wop

We would not care to wake up to the nightmare
That's becoming real life
But when mislead who knows a person's mind
Can turn as cold as ice un hum

Why do you keep on making us hear your song
Telling us how you are changing right from wrong
'Cause if you really want to hear our views
"You haven't done nothing"!

Jackson 5 sing along again say
Doo doo wop
Doo doo wop - oh
Doo doo wop - co co co
Doo doo wop - sing it baby
Doo doo wop - bum bum bum
Doo doo wop - um
Sing it loud for your people say
Doo doo wop - um um um

Doo doo wop - stand up be counted, say
Doo doo wop - co co co
Doo doo wop - ow
Doo doo wop - bum bum bum
Doo doo wop - ah hum

horoscope for week of March

Capricorn Horoscope for week of March 10, 2005

Michael Weliky, a professor of brain and cognitive sciences, decided to test the accuracy of the old saw that we only use ten percent of our brains. He dreamed up a brilliant experiment that involved 12 ferrets watching the movie, The Matrix. His research was so convincing that the prestigious journal Nature published it. He concluded that we actually use 80 percent of our available brainpower, though much of the activity takes place unconsciously. I predict your own efficiency will be even higher in the coming weeks, Capricorn, perhaps zooming above the 90-percent level. It might be time for you to try solving some of your most enduring mysteries. You'll no doubt be able to come up with approaches as innovative as having ferrets watch The Matrix.

Rosanne Cash blogs herself and the gates

I played Lincoln Center's new and beautiful Allen room on February 10th,
and it was the last show of a tour that has sputtered along since
January 2003. Two years of shows in support of 'Rules of Travel', and it
ended on a pinnacle. By the time of the Allen Room show, the focus had
shifted from ROT to the new record I am making now, "Black Cadillac",
and the band was in incredible form. My taller half, Mr. L, had broken
his finger just before the Jamaica Jazz and Blues Festival last month,
so we were a mite concerned that he could play at all. Turns out, if he
had broken three more fingers, we would have been about even as guitar
players. He played phenomenally, creating new voicings of chords on the
spot, minus that left ring-finger. Adam Levy, from Norah Jones' Handsome
Band, graciously joined us to assist Mr. L in areas of chordal concern,
and he was a delight to work with. The band was filled out by regulars
Shawn Pelton, Zev Katz, Brian Mitchell and Catherine Russell, and I just
feel privileged to work with such a stellar group of musicians.
What a relief. I feel dizzy with the satisfaction of completing such a
rigorous schedule, and now my focus turns completely to the record. I am
about halfway there, and, given Capitol's need for a five-month lead
time before release, I would imagine this record will be in stores in
September. It's a good time for it. It's more of an autumn record,
topically. Not your summer feel-good type of thing.

I really enjoyed 'The Gates' in Central Park last month. The first day I
saw it, which was the day after the installation, it was gorgeous. It
was a beautiful, sunny and cold day, and the light through the 'saffron'
fabric (they looked orange to me, but let's not quibble) was just
fantastic. A few days later, on a dismal, drizzling day, the Gates
looked... not so great. Like laundry, or a construction site. Then, a
few days after that, I picked my son up at school, and the taxi went
through the park going home. It was just spectacular. The light caught
the orange fabric in a million different ways, and it was like driving
through a heightened dream of color. It was really exciting. Everyone
had an opinion about it, or a question; is it really art? What is the
meaning? I didn't really care. I enjoyed it--or not--on a visceral
level, and that was enough. And I loved the very temporal nature of
it--16 days, that's it. It gave it an intensity and focus that added to
it tremendously. My friends Gael and Stephen Doyle had a small dinner
party in honor of The Gates, and the saffron was flowing freely. It was
just great. I love being alive in New York at this particular moment. If
it would only get above freezing for a few minutes.

Monday, March 07, 2005


To lead a better life I need my love to be here...

Here, making each day of the year
Changing my life with a wave of her hand
Nobody can deny that there's something there

There, running my hands through her hair
Both of us thinking how good it can be
Someone is speaking but she doesn't know he's there

I want her everywhere and if she's beside me
I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her everywhere
Knowing that love is to share

Each one believing that love never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there

I want her everywhere and if she's beside me
I know I need never care
But to love her is to need her everywhere
Knowing that love is to share

Each one believing that love never dies
Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there

To be there and everywhere
Here, there and everywhere

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Traveling Again by dar williams

Traveling Again
Words and music by Dar Williams

Have I got everything? Am I ready to go?
Is it going to be wild, is it gonna be the best time?
Or am I just a-saying so-o-o-o? Am I ready to go?
What do I hear when I say I hear the call of the road?

I think it started with driving, more speed, more deals, more
sky, more wheels
More things to leave behind, now it's all in a day for the
modern mind
And I am traveling again
Calling this a ghost town, and where is the heartland?
And I'm afraid, oh, was there any good reason, that I had to go
When all I know is I can never come back.

Traveling I made a friend, he had a trouble in his head
And all he could say's that he knew that the bottle
Drank the woman from his bed, from his bed
He said "I'm not gonna lose that way again."
But sober is just like driving, more joy, more dread, someone
turns her head
And smiles and disappears
He's gotta take it like it is, and it goes too fast
And he is just like me, caught in-between, no sage advisor
Does weary mean wiser?
And someday will I sing the mountains that carried me away away
From home and hometown boys like you?

Yeah, but what about us? Was it really that bad?
Oh it's hard to believe I want a highway roadstop
More than all the times we had, on little dirt roads
What am I reaching for that's better than a hand to hold?
It really was about driving, not fame, not wealth,
Not driving away from myself
It's just myself drove away from me
And now I gotta get it back and it goes so fast, so I am traveling
Sitting at the all-nite, picking up a pen
And I'm afraid, oh, was there any good reason
That I had to go, when all I know is I am all alone again
And you are the ghost town, and I am the heartland
And I can say, oh, that's a very good reason
That I had to go, but now all I know is I can never come back
And I will never go back

farewell to the old me Dar williams

How can I ask love to hold the mystery
When just look at me
It's all push and pull collateral
I don't want to be the one who gets the next surprise
I'll plan it out this time
Though I used to think that things were meant to be

So farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
My life is working better now
It's always changing anyhow

I danced a lot of nights until the grass was wet
It wasn't over yet
'Round 'bout 3 a.m. you made a friend
And I followed a lot of vital crazy thoughts
Because it's where the meaning was
And I tried to find it every other way

So farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
My life is getting better now
But always changing anyhow

But I can turn on the charm
Show them nothing more
Than what I've done before
It's nothing much new
But it'll do
'Cause I don't wanna be the one who makes you laugh out loud
I wanna make you proud
And you always said you knew what I could be

So farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
Farewell to the old me
My life is working better now
But always changing anyhow
And the old me
Farewell to the old me

© 2000 Burning Field Music

Friday, March 04, 2005

60 stops in 60 days

isnt this clear to anyone else but me that this model comes from Recovery....

i guess electing a junkie gets you such campaign slogans as Easy does it or one day at a time????


CAPRICORN (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): I'd love to see you reach out to the people who you think should have reached out to you by now. I'd love to see you heal rifts with former allies and rebuild bridges you burned down. Even if it feels like a slightly awkward compromise, I'd love to see you offer your services to X factors and wild cards and loose cannons that aren't exactly making the best use of their powers. How about it, Capricorn? Are you willing to bend a little to gain a lot? Can you imagine giving more slack to flawed possibilities, hoping that your largesse will help them fix their flaws?