Friday, March 31, 2006

another dream

i was in a sound sound sleep and didnt want to wake up. I am worn out and exhausted and need a break... weekends arent enough and luckily i have monday off...

the dream parts i remember. There was a room with 4 beds. A double bed and a single bed at the head and another bed across the room. I want to say that Amy Whipple was to be in the bed at the far side of the room. the twin bed at the head of the larger bed was to be occupied by Mary Beth Augier, tour manager for Mary Chapin Carpenter. That left the double bed with My blue sheet for Me and Mary Chapin
(another mary chapin dream you say) i dream about her all the time

she took the right side of the bed and pulled the sheet from their fitted corner, making a mess of the sheets. i took left side. in the dream, i thought it was weird that i was sharing a bed with MCC but seeing that i have shared my double bed with many friends and women ( and i finished that little quiz that asked whether you slept wiht a person of the same sex) i thought nothing of it except that i was sharing a bed with Mary Chapin Carpenter...i wondered how her back would take sleeping on the bed ( she has a bad back and has recently suffered from back problems)

she clearly was restless and uncomfortable... i knew she had hot flashes and disrupted the sheets because of it. I offered to switch sides. I offered her some Evening Primrose and a few tylenol PM but couldnt locate them. so most of the dream was my searching in my duffel bag and in smaller makeup bags for the pills i was looking for. when i finally found them, i popped out two blue tylenol PM and offered them to her. while searching i was talking to mary beth about looking for the pills..

i wanted to fix the sheets and arrange the comforter and then the alarm clock went off and i wanted to get back into the dream and stay asleep.

I definately need to sleep more. I am tired and exhausted... my weeks are strenous and draining and i am glad to have monday off...

Thursday, March 30, 2006

my students

my students are not on the lacrosse team, my students do not belong to the greek letters, my students do not wear flip flops or pajamas to class, my student do not have expensive meal plans that they indulge themselves and all their friends with expensive junk food, My students dont live on campus, my students arent in the 20s, my students arent undergraduates, they dont wait for the campus bus to take them to the train, they dont attend campus movies or student activities events, they dont belong to the gym or play in the sports center, my students dont wear teeshirts with slogan like "taste me" or "life is better in the hamptons", my students dont walk the campus talking on their cell phone about how drunk they got last night, or when they last saw their significant other or arguing with the same significant other.

my students are over 30, my students have full time jobs, my students are raising children, my students are commuting to school from work, they are struggling to graduate with a Masters degree, my students are in debt, my students wear the clothes of adults, they act like professionals, they are caring persons who are building on their careers, my student drive to school- my students are working hard to get their degrees-
they arent like the mainstream adelphi students

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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

the sights of spring

the sights of spring in new england is the return of the robins or the nesting of robins, snow melting and the smell of wet mud or dirt turned mud. The first day without winter coats is always a memorable one. I remember the feeling of Passover and Easter as spring. the melting snow and wet ground and Matzah...

but in NYC the first sights of spring are not tulips or daffodils or crocuses or robins but Mr Softee Trucks....pulled over to the curb with lines of kids to get their ice cream cones or treats

mr softee made his appearance today, it must be spring.

THank you mayor bloomberg for silencing MR SOFTEE.. no more annoying song or tune that sticks in your head, interrupts your meetings or dinner and over and over and over plays like a broken recording.... NO MR softee music...but like the birds fly north, mr softee returns to mark another spring


i was in a sound sound sleep dreaming about Rosie Odonnell and her wife Kelly at an adoption agency when my alarm rang... the alarm became part of the dream til i woke up and realized it my alarm

okay...ill play

Taken a picture naked? No
Made out with a member of the same sex? Yes
Danced in front of your mirror? Yes
Told a lie? Yes
Gotten in a car with people you just met? No
Been in a fist fight? yes
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Yes
Been arrested? yes
Left your house without telling your parents? Yes
Ditched school to do something more fun? Yes
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yes
Seen someone die? No
Kissed a picture? Yes
Slept in until 3? Yes
Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yes
Played dress up? Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? Yes
Felt an earthquake? yes
Touched a snake? Yes
Ran a red light? Yes
Had detention? No
Been in a car accident? Yes
Pole danced? No
Been lost? Yes
Sang karaoke? no
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
Kissed in the rain? yes
Sang in the shower? Yes
Got your tongue stuck to a pole? yes
Ever gone to school partially naked? No
Sat on a roof top? Yes
Played chicken? yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? yes
Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? Yes
Broken a bone? yes
Mooned/flashed someone? Yes
Forgotten someone's name? Yes
Slept naked? yes
Blacked out from drinking? yes
Played a prank on someone? Yes
Felt like killing someone? no
Made a parent cry? Yes
Cried over someone? Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? No
Had/Have a dog? no
Been in a band? No
Drank 25 sodas in a day? No

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of March 30, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of March 30, 2006

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
The still, small voice within you usually just provides you vague platitudes about how to be a better citizen. But in the coming days, it will offer you truly useful information that could help you become richer, sexier, more popular, and more powerful. It may even give you the winning numbers of the lottery. Make damn sure you tune in. APRIL FOOL! The still, small voice within you does not just provide vague platitudes about how to be a better citizen. If you believe that, you're listening to the wrong still, small voice. In fact, the real one is always overflowing with extremely practical information about how to run your day-to-day life in a way that's fun and meaningful. Listen harder and faster than usual, please.

i maybe stupid but i am also a Tribeca Film Festival volunteer

How cool is that... I am assigned to the Screening unit.. i will enter Planet Volunteer and get my wardrobe of my Tribeca Film Festival Laminant and teeshirt. Each shift i work will earn me screening or movie vouchers.. i can trade them in for tickets to screenings. I am with the screening unit so i get to answer questions, run errands, seat people, tell where to pee and NO FOOD ALLOWED and crap like that..
i will get my PLanet Volunteer invite and place to pick up my TEE and Laminant soon..

stay tuned... .all for the Love of Dar... her birthday present is volunteering the Tribeca FIlm fest

now how can i get to see Patty Griffin... GO AND STAND ON LINE.. i guess...

whhhoooooo Whoooooo YOu can now say YOU KNOW A TRIBECA FILM FEST VOLUNTEER

i am not a nerd, just average

The Stupid Quiz said I am "Kinda Smart, but Stupid!" How stupid are you? Click here to find out!

the weather in chicago


shoe store dream

i went to bed at 10pm last night after supernanny transcended and transpired another family on its way to healthy communication and untangled skewed roles to make parents the adults and kids receive consistant discipline and understand their roles and respect the parental heirarchy... YEAH JO....

so i went to bed and fell asleep right away....two extra strenght Tylenol PM and being exhausted help...

i dreamed i was in a shoe store. first as a patron then as a member of the staff with an undefined role. The store was an upscale shoe store with expensive shoes. There were many people wandering around from the world of modeling. it looked more like backstage at a fashion show. I looked around. in the middle of the dream there was a cat sequence.
i saw my cat running around and she was with a grey striped tabby. In the distance i saw three little kittens who resembled Whoopi running and playing and having a great little time... just running after each other. I thought that the tabby had to go, so i went to put it outside but i could not abandon it and realized it, formed a relationship wtih my cat and the kittens so it had to stay.
I then was sitting in the shoe store seats with a large garbage bag. I was watching and defined my role among the models and people who were looking to purchase the shoes. i was not a patron but on the payroll
i remember talking to the proprietor of the store about meeting the needs of the patrons and how that changed over time...

and my alarm clock went off

Sunday, March 26, 2006

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a day in the life and night

i got up and baked some oatmeal and baked acorn squash and some chickpeas. got ready to drive to long island and noticed a screw in my front tire. I went to MR Tire where they know my name and face and the screw did penetrate so they pulled it out, no patch needed and a three dollar tip and i was on my way.
i rode out to WEstbury music fair on the BQE and grand central to get a linda ronstadt ticket for june. when i got there, there was a line to get Tony Bennett, Howie Mandell, Doobie Brothers tickets. The place is a pit but for the same money i spent i could get 8th row in the round, vs balcony at the beacon. I could drive out after work and its a short drive home. I can park rather then come home and take the train to manhattan on a friday night.
i went into westbury and went to Target and bought some pants and other toiletries and drove home.
it was early and it was still pleasant so i went for a walk. I walked to the park and back, as it was too early or too late for a movie..

i came home and read a paper, watched the NCAA and food network and tried to go to bed early.. i guess 10pm was too early because i had interrupted sleep

i did have some odd dreams..

i dreamed about Kinia one of the social workers that i work with. She was working with a man who was going deaf. She helped him learn sign by showing him the sign for a number of words. She showed him the sign for Latin man. in the dream, she took a pencil and showed him the sign by drawing it out on the paper. it was the sign for a stick figure man.
later in the dream, i was at a desk in the court and there was a window like at a doctors office and there were clients being assigned to workers
i woke assorted times.. and dreamed i was at a directors meeting and i was reporting that there was an RFP on Court related services. I kept getting interrupted. i had already had the RFP and was working on it. some woman named renee told me that she was located on another floor and was available to do Emergency Mental health screenings for clients in need at the court house. she gave me her number and in the dream i wrote it down..her extension was 11. i said i would pass on the information.
i could sleep longer or harder but i didnt want to lose time on this wonderful day.

going to bed later is better..going to bed too early feeds in to repeated wakings..
even with the tylenol PM

Saturday, March 25, 2006

yo sally me too

You Should Be a Joke Writer

You're totally hilarious, and you can find the humor in any situation.

Whether you're spouting off zingers, comebacks, or jokes about life...

You usually can keep a crowd laughing, and you have plenty of material.

You have the makings of a great comedian - or comedic writer.

a dream

i went to bed around midnight. the tylenol PM work great and i found myself waking abotu 7am and i went back to sleep til 9am. I got up to use the bathroom and went back to sleep and reentered the same dream so this is an extended dream

i dreamed that i was at a place like the Biltmore estate. There were lots of rooms in an old castle or old estate type place. I saw Mary Chapin Carpenter who was performing there in the dream. She grabbed and hugged me hard, though i was not the first person she saw. she said she wanted to see me later and would i go to a ...... with her. I remember thinking in the dream...that she want to spend time with me? i was honored flattered and surprised. i was more than willing to hang out and then hang around with her. She needed to see other people and ofcourse was performing later but would be around for a few days.

i then saw a series of dorm rooms that reminded me of the trappist monk retreat place that i went to on a management retreat at st joesphs. Mideval in style and i laid my luggage on the bed in a room. I had to go to the bathroom. I was talking to a man who was in his 30s and in the dream had to find the bathroom
i think that i have had this sequence in a dream before... same place, same person, need to go to the bathroom..

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Thursday, March 23, 2006

my big idea

i was in class tonight and out of my mouth came the following idea

for clients on public entitlements, they should get a prompt when they swipe their card that they have 90 days to renew, or 60 days to renew or 30 days to make their recertification appointment... it would happen each time they swipe the card. and they would have to click... Read before they could deduct food stamps or get their monies.. therefore the Administration would have a record that they got the message and were alerted to recertify..

i cant believe i am the first person to think of this.


i have been sleeping well and have been in deep sleeps with little waking up til my alarm clock rings.. Thank you Tylenol PM and no hot flashes...

i have been dreaming about joni mitchell and her songs. i have had other music related events in my dream but i really cant remember then

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of March 23, 2006

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
It's the Introspection Season, Capricorn. I encourage you to write copiously in a journal. Here are several themes that would be fruitful to explore: (1) Your most amazing qualities and your worst qualities. (2) The hundred things you want to accomplish in the next 30 years. (3) Your bitter complaints, horrendous pain, and lost dreams. (4) Everything you love and everything that's beautiful and everything that works. In addition to writing your heart out and your ass off, paste in cut-out pictures from magazines, draw pictures, and ask friends to write messages to you.

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Monday, March 20, 2006

I bit the George Clooney Blog Phoney

Link by Link
A Guest Blogger, and an Unwritten Law

Published: March 20, 2006

ONE could almost imagine George Clooney, robed and slippered, taking to the veranda of his Italian lakeside villa and hunkering over a laptop for his maiden voyage into the blogosphere, which appeared in the form of a passionate left-wing call to arms at last week.
Skip to next paragraph
Related Link to the Entry Purported to Have Come From George Clooney

Transcript From George Clooney's Feb. 16 Interview With Larry King

Article from The Guardian Unlimited

"We can't demand freedom of speech then turn around and say, 'But please don't say bad things about us,' " the Oscar-winning actor wrote, adding his voice to dozens of other luminaries that Arianna Huffington, the columnist, former candidate for governor of California and freelance liberal gadfly, has drawn to her blog fold since starting The Huffington Post nearly a year ago. "You gotta be a grown-up and take your hits," Mr. Clooney concluded. "I am a liberal. Fire away."

But just as the great digital chinwag was taking note of the newcomer ("If Clooney blogs, does that make it sexy?" wondered the wits at Gawker), Mr. Clooney dropped a bomb, asserting that although the sentiments in the post were his, they were cobbled together from past interviews with Larry King of CNN and The Guardian, a British newspaper.

And more important, the blog was not written by him.

So was born Clooneygate, which began the week looking like a minor collision between a celebrity's handlers and a celebrity pundit's ambitions for her Web site, and ended amid knotty questions of journalistic integrity and the nature of blogs.

The basic facts are not in dispute. Ms. Huffington wanted Mr. Clooney — an outspoken critic of the war and American foreign policy — blogging on her site, but the actor, she said, wasn't familiar with the form.

So she culled some published Clooneyisms — essentially answers to questions he'd been asked in previous interviews — fashioned them into an essaylike blog entry, and added a few flourishes of her own, including the punchy "I am a liberal. Fire away" bit.

She then e-mailed it to one of his representatives, Lisa Taback. (The original post has since been removed from HuffingtonPost, but it can still be viewed here:

"Lisa, here is a blog put together from different interviews George has given," Ms. Huffington wrote in a Feb. 17 e-mail message, which she shared to help clarify what happened. "Would love to get his approval with any changes he wants and then we'll post it on HuffPost and send to Yahoo."

Ms. Taback responded the same day, saying "I will get it to him and get back to you as soon as I hear anything," and then three days later: "Of course this is fine, Arianna! Thank you."

The scant 360-word blog posting that Ms. Huffington had put together was untouched, and that's how it appeared at The Huffington Post — packaged like every other posting there, topped with a pithy headline ("George Clooney: I Am a Liberal. There, I Said It!"), and accompanied by a picture of the author and a short biography.

The ensuing bluster signified different things for different people.

For Mr. Clooney and his representatives — and for a growing brood of loyal "HuffPo" fans who proved, over the course of the week, to be even more loyal to blog purity — it was a simple matter of honesty. Indeed, as early as Tuesday, Mr. Clooney had issued a statement that cut directly to the heart of the matter.

"These are not my writings — they are answers to questions and there is a huge difference," Mr. Clooney said.

But that difference seemed to be lost, at least at first, on Ms. Huffington, who repeatedly pointed to the clear breakdown in Mr. Clooney's public relations machinery, and then later suggested, in a post on her blog, that in any case, "the medium isn't the message; the message is the message."

And that's where, it seems, Ms. Huffington disconnected from many of her readers, blog purists and media critics — all of whom seemed to know, tacitly or otherwise, that the medium carries a message, too.

At The Huffington Post, the colors, logos, headshots, bios, rubrics and timestamps visually unify all of the blog postings and say "we are of a kind." And it is to Ms. Huffington's credit that the quirks of each individual's posting at the site — Mr. Clooney's name and picture, as well as his syntax, his supposed choice of paragraph breaks and punctuation and his gathering rhetorical pitch — have the same implications as those of any reputable publication.

They say, "Hello, I'm the person responsible for putting these ideas together in this way. I then posted them to this blog. Or I e-mailed them to Arianna. Or I scribbled them onto a cocktail napkin and sent them to her by carrier pigeon. But at some point I crafted this train of thought in this way, and now I'm sharing it with you here."

It's not printed anywhere, of course, but the medium — the blog — carries that message.

It was a point that an increasing number of Ms. Huffington's readers and fellow bloggers — from Elizabeth Snead at The Los Angeles Times to Jeff Jarvis at BuzzMachine — were looking for her to acknowledge by week's end.

"Say you're sorry, Arianna," Ms. Snead wrote at The Envelope blog ( Jeff Jarvis, who blogs at and has served as a consultant to The New York Times on Web matters, condemned the puppetry of assembling a blog post for Mr. Clooney.

"If you're not really writing your blog, if you're having or allowing someone else to do it for you," Mr. Jarvis wrote on Friday morning, "then you're gaming me, lying to me, insulting me."

And dozens of Huffington Post readers agitated for an apology. "I think that the whole George Clooney thing was appalling on your part," one commenter wrote. "Regardless of the communication that you had with George's people, you misled your readers."

On Saturday morning, admirably, Ms. Huffington came to agree, admitting in a post titled "Lessons Learned" to a "big mistake" for failing to source the quotes and for writing the post for Mr. Clooney in the first place.

This will not happen again, she wrote, because "it diminishes the amazing work of bloggers who day in and day out put their hearts and souls into writing their blogs."

Ms. Huffington also suggested that, going forward, when she comes across a published interview, or when someone prominent says something to her that she thinks is "really important and should have as wide an audience as possible," she will quote it in her own section of the blog — much as James Boswell documented the comings and goings of Samuel Johnson, she said.

Indeed, she intends to name the form for Boswell: "BozBlogging."

Or, you could just call it journalism.

Sunday, March 19, 2006


MUTTS- the best comic, get the daily feed

thank you for smoking

I liked it....

Smoke 'Em if You Got 'Em; His Career Depends on It

Published: March 17, 2006

Glibly funny and eager to please, the film version of Christopher Buckley's novel "Thank You for Smoking" is not unlike the down-and-dirty habit of its title. Like cigarettes, this wisp of a film from the newcomer Jason Reitman won't do much for your brain cells, but it may provide some transitory pleasure from its ostensible equal-opportunity political skewering. Certainly for admirers of its star, the consistently reliable Aaron Eckhart, who plays Nick Naylor, the fast-jiving, fast-running cigarette lobbyist who holds the story together even as he almost falls apart, there is something rather nice about lighting up together, as it were, even by proxy.
Set in the recent past, not long before Big Tobacco started cutting checks for its sick and dying former customers, the film tracks the ups and mostly downs of a Washington lobbyist who's consistently on the hunt for new and inventive ways to rebrand cancer sticks for public consumption. As a Brown & Williamson Tobacco Corporation memo explained decades ago, "Doubt is our product, since it is the best means of competing with the 'body of fact' that exists in the mind of the general public." Wearing a million-dollar smile and tailored suit, Nick uses that doubt like a weapon, building on the work done by his employer, the Academy of Tobacco Studies, which Mr. Buckley based on the Tobacco Institute, the onetime trade association for the tobacco industry.

What makes Nick run? There's the money, of course, but mostly, as he confesses in voiceover, he's just good at it. Watching Mr. Eckhart, who appears in almost every scene in the film, such confidence is easy to believe. The actor moved into the small spotlight in 1997 as a seductive villain in Neil LaBute's scabrous "In the Company of Men." Since then, he has ranged across genres, roles and production levels, setting his square jaw to play equally well the nice and the reprobate. Although his blond good looks suggest that he could find steady employment as a B-list romantic lead, there is something overly hard about the cut of his jaw, something too intense in his gaze, which may explain why he routinely shows up as the heavy.

"Thank You for Smoking" isn't his best film (that would be "Erin Brockovich," in which he played a sensitive motorcycle dude), but this is the first role that has given him the room to play both ends of his usual character types, to turn his ingratiating smile into a leer, to charm even as he repels. Indeed, Mr. Reitman keeps the character moving at such a clip that there isn't much time for contemplation, and just when you think you've put a finger on the character and his tar-black heart, Nick is already out the door. Whether he's hanging out with his fellow lobbyists, the other members of a self-anointed troika called the Mod Squad (Merchants of Death, natch), or chauffeuring around his son (played by Cameron Bright), Nick never sits still long enough to become a target.

The film is another matter. Mr. Reitman, who also wrote the screenplay, has a background in television advertising, and it shows. Although he steers his cast through its paces with facility, he tends to oversell jokes that were already plenty loud in the book. His visual gags, somewhat curiously, are generally weak, as if he had absorbed the wrong lessons from his time around the sets of his father's comedies. (As his studio-furnished biography announces rather too eagerly, his father is the director Ivan Reitman.) When Nick delivers a presentation about his job at his son's school, the kid's embarrassment ("please don't ruin my childhood") is funny enough even if the younger Mr. Reitman, who, to judge by the presence of two more fathers dressed as a pilot and a fireman, doesn't know it.

Save for Katie Holmes, straining credulity as a newspaper reporter who beds Nick for a story, the cast is exceptionally fine. To watch and listen as Maria Bello (as an alcohol lobbyist), David Koechner (defending our right to bear semiautomatics), J. K. Simmons (Nick's immediate boss), Robert Duvall (as a Big Tobacco legend) and an excellent Rob Lowe (as a Hollywood agent) put some topspin on their lines or execute a nice bit of business is to witness the satisfactions of a well-oiled movie machine. It's especially pleasant to watch the actors hustle and flow, since thinking too hard about "Thank You for Smoking" and the exact nature of its gored sacred cows can prove, if not dangerous to your health, more than a little irritating.

"Thank You for Smoking" is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). It includes mild violence, discreet sex and, of course, countless cigarettes.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

the weather in chicago


Capricorn Horoscope for week of March 16, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of March 16, 2006

This would be an excellent week to tilt all the paintings on the walls of your home so they're hanging a bit crooked, refer to yourself as the "Wizard of Desserts," and stand in a mud puddle up to your ankles. I suggest that you further take advantage of the astrological opportunities by using a felt-tip pen to draw tattoos of magic symbols on your body, making love with grocery bags over your heads, and reciting dirty limericks in front of people who think you're too serious. It's high time for you to lose your cool.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

the pink cadillac

i pulled into the walgreen parking lot to get soda before school and parked in the front spot was a Pink Cadillac. I looked at it and where it would have said said Mary Kay. It also said Mary Kay on the front. I saw the woman who owned it and i was mezmorized by this car. it looked pink from a distance and when you got close it looked white like and opal with a tint of pink. it had a pimp my ride paint job But it was a MARY KAY cadillac - its calle pearlized pink and i couldnt take my eyes off it like i was in a trance or something...


maybe ill sell mary kay so i can move merch in the pink cadillac..

how many greenstamps does it take to earn one?

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Wednesday, March 15, 2006


You Are 7 Up

Understated and subtle, people warm up to you slowly.
But once they're hooked, they can't imagine going back to anyone else!

Your best soda match: Diet Coke

Stay away from: Mountain Dew

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

the depiction of Jeffrey Skilling in Enron the Smartest Men in the room

The definitions given below are from Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, 1994 (American Psychiatric Association, 1400 K Street NW, Suite 1101, Washington, DC 20005-2403 USA).

Bipolar I Disorder--Diagnostic Features (DSM-IV, p. 350)
The essential feature of Bipolar I Disorder is a clinical course that is characterized by the occurrence of one or more Manic Episodes or Mixed Episodes. Often individuals have also had one or more Major Depressive Episodes. Episodes of Substance-Induced Mood Disorder (due to the direct effects of a medication, or other somatic treatments for depression, a drug of abuse, or toxin exposure) or of Mood Disorder Due to a General Medical Condition do not count toward a diagnosis of Bipolar I Disorder. In addition, the episodes are not better accounted for by Schizoaffective Disorder and are not superimposed on Schizophrenia, Schizophreniform Disorder, Delusional Disorder, or Psychotic Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.

Bipolar II Disorder--Diagnostic Features (DSM-IV, p. 359)
The essential feature of Bipolar II Disorder is a clinical course that is characterized by the occurrence of one or more Major Depressive Episodes accompanied by at least one Hypomanic Episode. Hypomanic Episodes should not be confused with the several days of euthymia that may follow remission of a Major Depressive Episode. Episodes of Substance- Induced Mood Disorder (due to the direct effects of a medication, or other somatic treatments for depression, a drug of abuse, or toxin exposure) or of Mood Disorder Due to a General Medical Condition do not count toward a diagnosis of Bipolar I Disorder. In addition, the episodes are not better accounted for by Schizoaffective Disorder and are not superimposed on Schizophrenia, Schizophreniform Disorder, Delusional Disorder, or Psychotic Disorder Not Otherwise Specified.

Criteria for Major Depressive Episode (DSM-IV, p. 327)
A. Five (or more) of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning; at least one of the symptoms is either (1) depressed mood or (2) loss of interest or pleasure.

Note: Do not include symptoms that are clearly due to a general medical condition, or mood-incongruent delusions or hallucinations.

depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g. appears tearful). Note: In children and adolescents, can be irritable mood.
markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation made by others)
significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day. Note: In children, consider failure to make expected weight gains.
insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day
psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down)
fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day
feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick)
diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others)
recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide
B. The symptoms do not meet criteria for a Mixed Episode.

C. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

D. The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition (e.g., hypothyroidism).

E. The symptoms are not better accounted for by bereavement, i.e., after the loss of a loved one, the symptoms persist for longer than 2 months or are characterized by marked functional impairment, morbid preoccupation with worthlessness, suicidal ideation, psychotic symptoms, or psychomotor retardation.

Criteria for Manic Episode (DSM-IV, p. 332)
A. A distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood, lasting at least 1 week (or any duration if hospitalization is necessary).

B. During the period of mood disturbance, three (or more) of the following symptoms have persisted (four if the mood is only irritable) and have been present to a significant degree:

inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep)
more talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
distractibility (i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli)
increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation
excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments)
C. The symptoms do not meet criteria for a Mixed Episode.

D. The mood disturbance is sufficiently severe to cause marked impairment in occupational functioning or in usual social activities or relationships with others, or to necessitate hospitalization to prevent harm to self or others, or there are psychotic features.

E. The symptoms are not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication, or other treatments) or a general medical condition (e.g., hyperthyroidism).

Note: Manic-like episodes that are clearly caused by somatic antidepressant treatment (e.g., medication, electroconvulsive therapy, light therapy) should not count toward a diagnosis of Bipolar I Disorder.

Criteria for Mixed Episode (DSM-IV, p. 335)

A. The criteria are met both for a Manic Episode and for a Major Depressive Episode (except for duration) nearly every day during at least a 1-week period.

B. The mood disturbance is sufficiently severe to cause marked impairment in occupational functioning or in usual social activities or relationships with others, or to necessitate hospitalization to prevent harm to self or others, or there are psychotic features.


i opened outlook and could not find the appointment that i thought i had for next monday night where i speaking to a parents group at jamaica family services. I looked for the number for the program and couldnt find it either. I then listened to my voice mail and there was a call from the Director of that program who was calling me about the confirmation and something else. She doesnt call me frequently so her call was unusual but provided me the number i was looking for and she stated the date of the appointment. i opened outlook and the appointment was there on the designated day. How could i have missed it ?

i then found a letter on my desk from her that i thought i finished and through away where she was requesting a letter of support. when i needed it in decemeber i cuold not find it..when i needed it now, i found it readily and effortlessly.

i will call her back today


i was very full of popcorn and forced myself to go to sleep at 10pm because i had been going to sleep at 2am each weekend night and wanting to be fresh for work, i forced myself to sleep....but not to dream

i woke up groggy after dreaming about a hospital ward. I saw the floor, the rooms and a person who was on life support. In the dream, i knew it was cheryl wheeler. as the dream progressed, she seemed to come back to life and be filled out and not the emaciated person who was in the former part of the dream
i saw nurses and the nurses station and was vaguely connected to the dream activities though i was there and observing the dream.

i awoke and wanted to get back to sleep to finish the dream. i dozed off and the dream was furthering but then had to wake myself because i had to get up

Monday, March 13, 2006

George Clooney Blogs on the huffington post

am a liberal. And I make no apologies for it. Hell, I'm proud of it.

Too many people run away from the label. They whisper it like you'd whisper "I'm a Nazi." Like it's dirty word. But turn away from saying "I'm a liberal" and it's like you're turning away from saying that blacks should be allowed to sit in the front of the bus, that women should be able to vote and get paid the same as a man, that McCarthy was wrong, that Vietnam was a mistake. And that Saddam Hussein had no ties to al-Qaeda and had nothing to do with 9/11.

This is an incredibly polarized time (wonder how that happened?). But I find that, more and more, people are trying to find things we can agree on. And, for me, one of the things we absolutely need to agree on is the idea that we're all allowed to question authority. We have to agree that it's not unpatriotic to hold our leaders accountable and to speak out.

That's one of the things that drew me to making a film about Murrow. When you hear Murrow say, "We mustn't confuse dissent with disloyalty" and "We can't defend freedom abroad by deserting it at home," it's like he's commenting on today's headlines.

The fear of been criticized can be paralyzing. Just look at the way so many Democrats caved in the run up to the war. In 2003, a lot of us were saying, where is the link between Saddam and bin Laden? What does Iraq have to do with 9/11? We knew it was bullshit. Which is why it drives me crazy to hear all these Democrats saying, "We were misled." It makes me want to shout, "Fuck you, you weren't misled. You were afraid of being called unpatriotic."

Bottom line: it's not merely our right to question our government, it's our duty. Whatever the consequences. We can't demand freedom of speech then turn around and say, But please don't say bad things about us. You gotta be a grown up and take your hits.

I am a liberal. Fire away.

im a liberal too

in my world

in my world...

no one spits on the sidewalk

everyone picks up after their dogs

there are no stray feral cats

chocolate has no calories

carrots are available for the taking

people are forgiving and forgiven

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Sunday, March 12, 2006

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Let's All Get ADD!

Let's All Get ADD!
What do coffee, cell phones, the Net, stress and sleep drugs have in common? You, silly
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

Let's All Get ADD! - What do coffee, cell phones, the Net, stres...

No one is getting enough sleep.

No one is getting enough sleep because everyone is so damned stressed.

Everyone is so damned stressed because everyone has way, way too much to do and far too little time in which to do it.

Everyone has way too much to do and far too little time in which to do it because modern technology has made us a thousandfold more accessible and more wired up and more media drenched and able to communicate in 157 different instant digitized ways, has given us entree to so much astounding information at so much faster and more unbearable rates that it has, in effect, compressed time into sweaty slippery little knots we are forever trying to untie as quickly as we possibly can even though we can't.

Slathered all over this is the fact that the Internet is a gorgeous wanton free-for-all of deliciously annoying distraction, porn and Instant Messenger and iTunes, eBay and Amazon and roughly one million blogs, RSS feeds and multimedia and movie trailers and the great time-sucking killer app of the 20th century, e-mail, and did I mention the porn and the music?

It's enough, verily, to give normally sane and balanced and disciplined people a serious case of attention deficit disorder, the inability to focus for any length of time on any one project at hand without the mind and the eye and the desire immediately jumping away to the umpteen other activities and ideas and fun bits your brain felt it was ignoring by trying to focus on one measly paltry thing.

Is this happening to you? Are you not multitasking right now, calculating your to-do lists, answering your cell, text messaging your sister, reading this column, burning a new CD, thinking about sex, programming your Bluetooth, ordering some Astroglide online, processing 50 items at once? No? Something is wrong with you.

In fact, I have no idea how I am getting through this column right now. It has taken me roughly 19 hours to complete the handful of paragraphs above because I keep checking e-mail and configuring my iTunes playlists and responding to my girlfriend's IM messages and reading my colleague David Lazarus' trilogy of columns on the mad increase in sleep disorders and sleeping-pill intake in America.

And the phenomenon is, as you might expect, disturbing and telling and just a little sad, but I didn't have all that much time to dwell on it because I also felt compelled to watch nine new movie trailers on ("Mission: Impossible III" looks just god-awful and someone really should slap Tom Cruise) and check the status of two eBay bids and read up on a new Aneros sex toy over at and satiate a nagging question I had about a quote from "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" and read up on BushCo's nefarious plans to bomb the crap out of Iran and did you know the newly redesigned Audi TT is coming out in April?

This is why God invented coffee. Coffee is our national narcotic. Caffeine is time's Viagra. It is no coincidence that the rise of the godlike Starbucks Corp. coincided almost exactly with the rise of the Internet and the cell-phone explosion and the dot-com boom -- that is, with the insane rise in instant communication and multitasking. Caffeine helps up keep up with the mad onslaught, even as it destroys our ability to calm the hell down and get some deep rest.

Did you know caffeine has a half-life in the body of six hours? That if you drink a big cup around noon, half of its 80-100 milligrams of nefarious caffeine are still bouncing through your bloodstream by dinnertime, and by midnight you've still got a happy glob of the stuff slapping at your exhausted brain stem like an angry wife slaps her ex-husband? Do you wonder why we're taking more and more sleeping pills and screwing with the body's natural rhythms and entering a vicious cycle of artificially jacking up/calming down to the point of, well, exhaustion?

Reminds me of Joshua Foer's terrific piece over at Slate from May 2005 about his experience taking the prescrip amphetamine Adderall (normally prescribed for ADHD), just to see what it would do to him, just to see if he could, in fact, focus better and get more work done and imitate, to some pale degree, Jack Kerouac, who allegedly wrote "On the Road" in one insane brilliant nonstop stream-of-consciousness binge while jacked on so much Adderall-like amphetamines it would've choked a llama. The upshot: Except for the weird side effects and the numbing comedown and the various health hazards, Adderall worked, almost too well.

Of course, digging out the link to Foer's piece also enticed me to read Slate's review of alarm clocks, which also led to Will Saletan's thick science-over-morality piece on South Dakota's hideous new abortion law, which in turn somehow pointed to a mention of the New York Times story about the new rash of "sleep-driving," about all the zombie-like people who are now getting into their cars after taking the sleep drug Ambien, which led me to the original NYT Ambien piece on the subject, which in turn flicked me over to the NYT Book Review, where I drifted in a literary haze until the sun shifted in the sky and the morning turned to afternoon and I realized I really needed to get back to work because the paragraph you just read took me about one hour and 13 minutes to complete. See?

Adderall sounds perfect. Adderall is exactly what I need. I could write five columns in two days! I could get ahead and forget my rolling deadlines, for once! I could start my novel, make more progress on my essay collection, learn podcasting in Garageband, finally read that 400-page book on digital photography, get all the way through "From Dawn To Decadence" and still have time to learn about Japanese sake prefectures!

Is this our national affliction? Our collective destiny? A nation of willful ADD sufferers, wired up and jittery and increasing unfocused even as we have more and more crap demanding our attention and even as we are increasingly unable to pause the chaos and sink into a moment and find some peace and actually feel the world around us?

Because I have news: We have been misled. It is one massive lie, a great myth of modern American culture that the more you think, the more you multitask, the more you process and analyze and ponder and the more stuff whirling around your brain at any given moment, the smarter and more connected you are. It is, in short, a total crock.

We equate deranged, caffeinated busyness with smarts, with success, when in fact the exact opposite is true. Just ask the yogis, the gurus, the healers of the past 5,000 years: It is actually when you calm the mind, clear things out, breathe deep and sleep deeper and clean out the toxins and the caffeine and the Ambien, that's when real wisdom, real intuition comes your way. The rest is just, well, noise. Happy delicious annoying caffeinated sexy fun infuriating obnoxious unstoppable noise, but still noise.

But not to worry. They'll soon develop a pill to block that, too.

Friday, March 10, 2006

who would have thunk i am DC

You scored 51% Style, 33% Climate, and 59% Culture!

You are Washington, DC. The District of Columbia�identical with the
city of Washington�is the capital of the United States. It is located
between Virginia and Maryland on the Potomac River. The district is
named after Columbus. The federal government and tourism are the
mainstays of the city's economy, and many unions, business,
professional, and nonprofit organizations are headquartered there.
Among the city's many educational institutions are the Catholic
University of America, Georgetown University, Howard University, and
Gallaudet University. Cultural attractions include the National Gallery
of Art, the Smithsonian Institution, the John F. Kennedy Center for the
Performing Arts, and the Folger Shakespeare Library.

Alright, I'm biased. I practically live in DC, and I think it's a great
city. You got DC because you love city life, you're stylish, and you
appreciate culture and diversity. You don't mind crowds, in fact, you
probably really like to people-watch. And I stuck you in a good place
to do it. You like to go out and have fun and soak up the culture,
whether it's to take in an artsy film, see a play, or even go shopping.
I'm not too sure if you're a history geek or not, so if you don't like
it, at least you can just look at the pretty monuments and take
pictures. You probably have a very nice personality because you're
accepting and more on the liberal side, and you know how to make a good
impression. Well done.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 82% on Style
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 29% on Climate
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 69% on Culture
Link: The Which Major U.S. City Are You? Test written by weeredII on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

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Wednesday, March 08, 2006

random acts of kindness

i am discouraged at the negativity and toxic nature of my job. the people are not kind - they are not professional and not kind to each other. they can disagree but they are unforgiving and unkind...

then today, i was in the salad bar store buying lunch and the counter girl is an edgy, flirty girl who can be nasty with a smile. she was approached by a man who was clearly mentally ill and she rang up his order for 8.45. she asked him if he had money and he said he did.he asked me for a quarter and i didnt have it. he started to count out his money and he had enough. She looked at him and told him to take the meal. he thanked her profusely and blessed her.
she and i talked about what she did. She didnt have her bosses permission to give food away but knew i would not tell on her. They throw away more food at night, that she thought giving this man the food was harmless. I said it was a very kind act and from her heart and restored my faith in humans. I thanked her for making my week or improving it..

then i was in the train station to go to manhattan and two cops came down the stairs. one cop started talking to a mentally ill guy and helped him get on the train, keeping his eye on him while i talked to him about the events of my day. another man who acted in a kind manner towards someone disabled. he could have been a hard ass and could have harrassed this guy but his gentile style, helped keep the guy calm and the passengers safe.
he treated the person with respect and kindness...

then i was telling the usher the story at lincoln center and she told me a story she heard from wayne Dyer but a disabled kid who wanted nothing more than to play baseball with the kids in the park... one day he asked his dad, if he thought the kids would allow him to play. the father asked the kids and they welcomed the disabled kid, helped him to hit the ball but soft throwing and helped him run the bases so he hit a homerun...they lifted him on their shoulders and applauded his successes. the father knew that day why his son was disabled...and knew that day, that the other kids hit perfection that day.

kindness has been the thoughts of the day if you are open to them. living in a kind spirit is easier than living in the toxic one.


i have been sleeping through the night due to the Tylenol PM and later bed time.

i dreamed that i was in an open air market or indoor flea market type place with stalls. I started talking to this man who was blonde - he was large build and tall
and then reached in to kiss him. his kiss was wet and sloppy- i thought his kiss needs work but i wandered what it would be like to have sex with him

the next scene i was at a school and i was presented with a bill for a book. I saw the bill but not the amount - someone went off to find out about getting the bill paid and i asked about teaching next semester. someone went off to get Dr Fenster who would be able to talk to me next semester..
my alarm clock went off

Bernarda Alba

Sex and a Monster Mother Seething in Sunny Spain

Published: March 7, 2006

"Seven Sex-Starved Women Found Festering in Sealed-Up Mansion!" Thus might a tabloid headline or a B-movie trailer sum up "The House of Bernarda Alba," Federico García Lorca's 1936 tragedy of repression in provincial Spain. This simple, sensationalist sentence also captures, more or less, the tone of "Bernarda Alba," Michael John LaChiusa's musical adaptation of the play, which opened last night at the Mitzi E. Newhouse Theater at Lincoln Center.

Not that this production, directed by Graciela Daniele and starring a miscast Phylicia Rashad in the title role, exactly courses with erotic energy or the sort of luridness that demands exclamation points. On the contrary, this latest offering from the prolific Mr. LaChiusa, already represented this season by "See What I Wanna See" at the Public Theater, often feels wan and weary.

But the show's central focus is unmistakably what can happen to women when they are deprived of the chance to pursue what comes naturally with the opposite sex. Much that is implicit in Lorca's text is made noisily and redundantly explicit. The all-female cast members are given to running their palms over their haunches, making strident noises suggesting animals in heat and solemnly singing, "My pains, mother, are not the pains of hunger." Yet the ominous, oppressive atmosphere that makes Lorca's poetic play so much more than a potboiler is mostly missing in inaction.

This crucial lack of tension comes in large part from the characterization of Bernarda herself, a steel-girded, cane-wielding, scandal-fearing matriarch who locks her daughters up in a house of mourning after the death of her husband. She has been memorably portrayed in London by such forbidding powerhouses as Glenda Jackson and, more recently, Penelope Wilton as a scary, proto-Franco Fascist in a mantilla.

In his rendering of her, Mr. LaChiusa has allowed empathetic access into Bernarda's heart and loins, so that she seems less a terrifying tyrant than a passion-singed victim of the husband who betrayed and humiliated her. ("You took my love, my love, my love/ And made me your whore!" she sings to his spirit.) This Bernarda responds wistfully to the hopeful romantic ditties of her servants, remembering that she too was once young and juicy.

This is not difficult to credit, given that Ms. Rashad — whose gallery of strong maternal figures ranges from "The Cosby Show" on television to her Tony-winning performance in "A Raisin in the Sun" on Broadway — looks pretty juicy herself in her widow's weeds. (Toni-Leslie James did the all-black costumes.) Generously curved and luscious-faced as she adjusts her capacious bosom or bathes her arms, she seems less her daughters' jailer than their secret competitor. And instead of conveying a dried-up martinet, Ms. Rashad brings to mind a generally jolly suburban matron in a bad mood.

The same mismatching of actress and role is evident in the portrayal of Poncia, Bernarda's earthy peasant housekeeper, by Candy Buckley, a slim, brittle woman who here vaguely suggests how Florence Henderson might look in a "Zorro" film. An even larger problem, though, is that neither of these talented actresses, and most of the younger ones who play Bernarda's daughters and servants, seem at ease with Mr. LaChiusa's brooding, flamenco-steeped score.

The music, though superbly orchestrated (by Michael Starobin) and played (by a finely coordinated ensemble led by Deborah Abramson), goes places that singers used to hard-sell Broadway pizazz cannot follow. The punctuating yelps; the wavering sustained notes in minor keys; the labyrinthine interior musical paths; the eruptions into antimelodic harshness — these are all more the stuff of mid-20th-century chamber operas than conventional show tunes.

The touchingly game performers, who include musical pros like Daphne Rubin-Vega (a haunting presence as the ugly daughter) and Yolande Bavan (as Bernarda's senile mother), inevitably stumble over such challenges. (It would probably take someone with the training and vocal variety of Audra McDonald, a prime LaChiusa interpreter, to make the songs take flight.) Even the percussive stomping and clapping that often set the rhythm for the numbers come across as self-conscious, a damning quality for a score meant to be visceral.

Sally Murphy, as the most naïve of the daughters, plies her crystalline soprano to winning effect in a sweetly sensuous account of watching a boy by a stream. And Mr. LaChiusa's softer variations on Spanish folk motifs, especially in the songs chanted by the servants as they clean, are lovely. The big arias of confrontation and recrimination verge on self-parody, as when Poncia sings, "You may lock us all behind your prison walls./ But who will you turn to when/ The house of Bernarda falls!"

Ms. Daniele's flamenco-ish choreography, too, sometimes leans toward the unintentionally comic. But her story-theater staging makes efficient use of Christopher Barreca's dramatically spartan wooden set, and she keeps the narrative clear, even when the performers double as other characters (including a randy stallion and a receptive mare).

What she does not achieve is the hypnotic aura of fatalism that would keep the audience riveted. Nor does Mr. LaChiusa's music, at least as sung here, avoid a nagging repetitiveness. This makes it all too easy to identify with Judith Blazer as the seemingly narcoleptic daughter who has a habit of nodding off as the women around her scrap and seethe.

Bernarda Alba

Words and music by Michael John LaChiusa; based on the play "The House of Bernarda Alba" by Federico García Lorca; direction and choreography by Graciela Daniele; sets by Christopher Barreca; costumes by Toni-Leslie James; lighting by Stephen Strawbridge; sound by Scott Stauffer; orchestrations by Michael Starobin; music direction, Deborah Abramson. Presented by the Lincoln Center Theater, under the direction of André Bishop and Bernard Gersten. At the Mitzi E. Newhouse Theater, Lincoln Center, 150 West 65th Street, (212) 239-6200. Through April 9. Running time: 1 hour 30 minutes.

WITH: Phylicia Rashad (Bernarda Alba), Saundra Santiago (Angustias), Judith Blazer (Magdalena), Sally Murphy (Amelia), Daphne Rubin-Vega (Martirio), Nikki M. James (Adela), Yolande Bavan (Maria Josepha), Candy Buckley (Poncia), Laura Shoop (Young Maid), Nancy Ticotin (Servant and Prudencia).

Capricorn Horoscope for week of March 9, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of March 9, 2006

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
A reader named Christy McMunn wrote to tell me that she'll be running for president of the U.S. in 2016. She promises that she will ruthlessly express the raw, naked facts, whatever the consequences may be. Her motto: "If you cannot handle the truth, be careful of what you ask." I urge you to make that your modus operandi in the coming weeks, Capricorn. Be a greedy hunter in quest of the genuine story, the inside dope, and the piercing revelation. In preparation, strip yourself of any belief that might interfere with your receptivity to and enjoyment of the raw, naked facts.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Reds are motivated by POWER, seek productivity, and

need to look good to others. Simply stated,

REDS want their own way. They like to be in

the drivers seat and willingly pay the price

to be in a leadership role. REDS value

whatever gets them ahead in life, whether it

be at work, school, or in their personal

relationships. What REDS value, they get

done. They are often workaholics. They will,

however, resist being forced to do anything

that doesnt interest them.

Reds need to appear knowledgeable. They crave

approval from others for their intelligence

and insight. They want to be respected even

more than they want to be loved. They want to

be admired for their logical, practical

minds. REDS are confident, proactive,

visionary, and can be arrogant, selfish, and

insensitive. When you deal with a RED, be

precise, factual, and direct.

What Color Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Academy Award acceptance speech- Reese Witherspoon

: Reese Witherspoon FILM: "WALK THE LINE" Oh, my goodness. I never thought I'd be here my whole life growing up in Tennessee. I want to say Johnny Cash and June Carter had a wonderful tradition of honoring other artists and musicians and singers, and I really feel that tradition tonight. It is very important, and I really feel it. So I want to thank the Academy for this incredible honor. I want to say thank you to so many people who helped me create this role. Everyone at Fox, Cathy Konrad, James Keach, for producing the film. A very special thank you to Jim Mangold who directed the film and also wrote this character. Who is a real woman. Who has dignity and honor, and fear, and courage, and she's a real woman. And I really appreciate that. It was an incredible gift that you gave me. So thank you. And T-Bone Burnett for helping me realize my lifelong dream of being a country music singer. Thank you T-Bone. And I want to say thank you to Joaquin Phoenix who just put his heart and soul into this performance. His commitment and passion for this character and for this performance was just remarkable, and I feel so lucky to have gone on this journey with you. I am so blessed to have my family here tonight. My mother and my father are here. And I just want to say thank you so much for everything, for being so proud of me. It didn't matter if I was making my bed or making a movie. They never hesitated to say how proud they were of me. And that means so very much to a child. So thank you, Mom and Dad. I want to say thank you to my wonderful husband and my two children who should be going to bed. And thank you for loving me so much and supporting me. And I want to say that, my grandmother was one of the biggest inspirations in my life. She taught me how to be a real woman, to have strength and self respect, and to never give those things away. And those are a lot of qualities I saw in June Carter. People used to ask June how she was doing, and she used to say -- "I'm just trying to matter." And I know what she means. You know, I'm just trying to matter, and live a good life and make work that means something to somebody. And you have all made me feel that I might have accomplished that tonight. So thank you so much for this honor.

Monday, March 06, 2006


i was in a sound sound sleep when the alarm went off. I remember dreaming about 10,000 dollars...i am not sure if it was a charge or i was getting 10,000.

i will take two tylenol PM again tonight....
staying up til 11pm helps me sleep ... going to bed early means waking up in the middle of the night though i did wake up to get a drink of soda...darn you hot flash

Sunday, March 05, 2006


i dreamed that i was working for Hillary Clinton who was known by one name Hillary. I saw her husband in my dream and i was at an estate in the hamptons. THere was a discussion about swag and i suggested that they use something the size of a record album jacket perfectly square. I suggested or connected the event to Prairie Wind and suggested Neil Young's movie as swag. I then saw the same concert hall room from a previous dream.

my cat woke me up.... i wanted to go back to sleep and get back to the dream or i woke up and got back into the dream and got the neil young piece as the second half of the dream... they may not have been connected

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Saturday, March 04, 2006

finding money

my day started with getting up cuz the kitty wanted to eat. I could not eat as i was going to my Dr for a follow physical to the bacterial infection i have had. I saw that Rufus wainwright will be at carnegie hall recreating the famous Judy garland comeback concert two nights in June. HOW did i miss that one? so i ordered a ticket with carnegie hall to get my butt there to see RUFUS sing Judy sing cole porter, rodgers and hart and Arlen. I hope RW doesnt camp it up...its during Pride week so all the boys will be out to see Rufus..

i then showered and dressed and walked to my Dr to find 25 people ahead of me. i brought coffee and on the way i found 3 pennies. Just when i was stressing over something at work, i looked down and found pennies. I then found a nickel... the DOCTOR took my blood and i suggested i go on a coffee run for the office staff and my DR.
she has been my physician for over 20 years so it was 3 coffees and one for me and a toasted bagel for the receptionist. The billing Clerk, Betty who has been there as long as me, asked me to get paper towels. SO i walked down Caton ave towards ocean parkway to a deli and i looked to my left and saw a garbage can..on top of the garbage was a ten dollar bill. THe wind was brisk but the bill didnt move. i put it in my back pocket, bought the towels, a few lottery tickets and the papers... i got coffee and returned to the doctor to wait to be seen.

i got my check up...i have to do some tests due to acid reflux and i got a script for Ambien for all those sleepless nights that i bitch about due to the hotfalshes. My blood results will be ready in a bout a week.. historically i am anemic so i am not surprised if i am . SHe thinks i have low blood sugar due to my symptoms of buring in my stomach when i eat sometimes. and my EKG was fine

i walked to the pharmacy, bank, grocery store and home and i am waiting for my accountant to call to do my taxes tonight... who knows maybe more found money....

Thursday, March 02, 2006

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i have had two dreams about getting my period. Both involve the loss of blood.

i have been sleeping through the night almost. my noctural awakenings are lessened and i dont get out of bed. I roll over, look for something to drink and go back to sleep. I didnt wake at all last night. when i awake, its because a certain kitty cat wants food or to play.

last night, i dreamed i was at some sporting event. College basketball or football and i had to go away from the stadium or arena to get to a drug store because i believed i was getting my period. I saw myself in the bathroom, and spotting blood so i went on a bus to the downtown area and went into a CVS type store. ONce inside it looked like an old woolworth counter or any of those old diners. people were sitting at the counter eating and i ordered something, i asked the counterhelp where hte drugstore was and got up and went over. I saw two banners for the teams playing. Panthers in red with white print and another team. i heard someone say the price and thought i didnt want those because after the game they would be meaningless to me. someone said i could rent them. i got back to my focus of looking for tampons.

and the alarm went off

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of March 2, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of March 2, 2006

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
You will soon experience an upsurge in brainpower--perhaps as much as a 10-point increase in your IQ. I believe the events that heighten your intelligence will involve you doing something brave and resourceful. It's possible, for instance, that you'll dive into a frigid river to save a drowning child or race into a burning building to rescue a beloved animal. Or perhaps your courage will be more subtly expressed: You will offer forgiveness to someone who has wronged or you will speak the difficult but necessary words that everyone has been afraid to articulate.

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