Wednesday, May 31, 2006

the weather in chicago


memorial day weekend 2006

my weekend started on thursday because i left for massachusetts. I was ready to leave NY. its been about 2 months that i havent been working. I have enjoyed the time but have tried to be sparse with money because i dont know how long i will out of work, so there are so many things i would want to do with free time at great cost but i am more practical and conservative than spending needlessly or without consideration to my future. My routine has gotten a little dull and i needed a break. I wasnt a break from sleeping later and later (the tylenol pm dont help) and wanted a change of scene

so i packed me and the kitty and we went to my parents house. I got a chance to talk to both of my parents separately and together about my current situation. Both were emphathic and understanding and supportive. on thursday we went to dinner. Friday my brother and parents and i went to Lincoln Downs to the casino. My mom gave me money to use and i saved some of her money and recaptured some of the money i lost. So i spent about 40 dollars all day. I couldnt shop at the outlets or at the Big Box stores because
1. i dont need anything
2. i didnt want to incur any more expenses.

on saturday, we had my neices birthday party. it was fun. i took the kids for a walk and hiked up the "killer Hill". my niece heather is recently diagnosed with asthma and doesnt admit that she needs to rest or cant keep up. Her mom drove down and brought her water and their cell and she was embarrassed that she got special treatment. I got to talk to them and share stories. Paige's seem to center around Boys and Heather is worried about doing so well in school. She struggles with Paige scoffing because she does better in the 6th grade than paige did. Katie is the nice kid who called heather grumpy. Heather is concerned about what the impact of missing 3 weeks of school due to her hospitalization will be on her nomination to the honor society.
we celebrated with cake and pizza. i ordered salmon, veggies and baked potato

sunday my parents and i went to breakfast with the neighbors and then we went to bellingham to see the Davinci's code. the movie was interesting and novel and we spent hours talking about that and secret societies for hours. My father has been a mason all of his life and is a shriner and he talked more about the masons. I found the movie unique and well crafted. i really like the direction and acting. it was well worth the money and over two hours.

monday, i drove back to NYC to do my wash and go to the grocery store. I know that i can hang out at night but find that i want to maintain a weeknight routine. I am in early and in bed by 1030pm

i have been sleeping with the tylenol and up a few times with hot flashes. i am feeling the effects of not sleeping through the night. its been a few nights in a row.

i came back and wanted to get to the post office with my cobra check and go to the bank and get a cheap pedicure so i did that yesterday.

i still havent heard from ACS but i have an interview friday at 10am. i wanted to call about my 401K and wanted to call adelphi. so i did all of the above and more.
I cooked and walked and today, ill walk and go to weight watchers

tomorrow night i have tickets for Tbone Burnett at town hall, i got from FUV and the summer season starts at river to river and prospect park.

i have alot of stuff lined up in June and will be pretty busy, hopefully, ill be working too

Animal Idol 2

Animal Idol

be kind to animals- shmaybe???

shtinky gets a wish

Capricorn Horoscope for week of June 1, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of June 1, 2006

"Race car drivers say that if you're heading toward a wall," writes philosopher Jonathan Zap, "don't look at it. Instead, look at where you want to go." That's good advice for you in the coming week, Capricorn. It would be crazy for you to concentrate all your attention on what you don't like and don't need and don't agree with. Rather, you should briefly acknowledge the undesirable possibilities, but then turn the full force of your focus to the most interesting and fulfilling option.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

be kind to animal weeks


i dreamed the paula deen was having liposuction and i wondered if her audience would recognize her and accept her after the surgery.

i also dreamed about what a blessing it was to sleep as late as my body needs to and having gratitude for having some time off.

Capricorn Horoscope for week of May 25, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of May 25, 2006

Twice a year you enter a short-lived phase in your astrological cycle when tough challenges are the best gifts you can possibly receive. This is one of those times. To honor this richly disconcerting moment, I offer you three gems from sages who understood how to get the most out of their trials. Psychologist C.G. Jung: "We need difficulties; they are necessary for our health." French diplomat Jean Monnet: "If you have a problem you cannot solve, enlarge the context." Albert Einstein: "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

the weather in chicago


world trade 7

went down to the dedication of WTC 7 today, not to see silverstein
dedicate the building but rather to see the 7 at 7 which turned out to
be 8 or 9 artists preforming 1-2 songs, and in some instances 3 songs
they were ronan tynan who didnt get in the count for some reason,
ollabelle, lou reed, pharoahs daughter ( a mideastern type group),
citizen cope, suzanne vega, brazilian girls and ben ware vibes.

before the show and during the speechs, i ran into mike viseglia who
is the bass player for both Suzanne Vega and Dar Williams's band. Mike
has played with Suzanne since 1985. he and i chatted and he directed
me to his website because he has a two person project with Fiora
McBain from Ollabelle....

ronan tynan sang to some tape of an orchestra. he had a huge ring of NY in diamonds. the NYY was the symbol for the yankees. i am sure that this ring or bling was a gift from the Yankee organization or a world series type ring. the Bling was distracting from his performance. Lou Reed sang perfect day and then sang Sweet Jane with all sorts of commentary in the middle. he commented about real estate mogels in NY -hey lou YOU were playing for silverstein. he also commented on McCains New SChool speech where he addressed the audience like they were 6 graders, touting Liberty and how insulted NYers should be with him spewing his liberty stuff in NYC.

ollabelle sang "study war no more" and some other song ... Pharaoh's daughter who i had seen at the joni tribute was good.. then Citizen Cope who did three numbers.
and suzanne vega

suzanne started with Luka and then sang a new song bout NY as a woman. it was sung observing the suburban husbands who find themselves in midtown hotels on business for the weekend the their affairs with the NYC that they imagine. the chorus is how NY as woman will leave them and not say goodbye and be with them for the night and forget them. its a great song and then she led the crowd in Toms Diner.

i left after that


Monday, May 22, 2006


i am not surprised that i am having a series of anxiety dreams. I dream about cats alot. carrying cats, cats not getting free but cats. my cats and other cats

i have been getting up or rather napping all night or into the early morning, when my cat gets me up. I have dreamed about a whole fish, like a cod, that was being handled by a chef. i wondered if it was going to be okay being left nonrefrigerated for any length of time. The chef then prepared the fish and as people sampled it. i knew it was fine.

i also have dreamed about my cell phone. last night i dreamed the i exceeded my monthly minutes and knew in the dream that i could not do that again. the bill was 39.99 plus 90.00 for the extra minutes. (none of these amounts are accurate)

be kind to animals week

shelter stories

shelter stories of chicpea and chickpea's brother

the weather in chicago


friday, saturday and sunday

Friday started off slow and rainy. i headed into manhattan to see Susan Werner at Joes Pub. After a great dinner with my friend Chris and catching up, susan put on a great set. WIth greg holt on bass, she previewed two or three new songs.
i ended up staying for the late show as well. so thanks to woj the setlists are:

Susan Werner
May 19, 2006 (early show)
Joe's Pub
New York City, NY

Unread Book
Don't Work With Your Friends
Let's Regret This In Advance
No One Needs To Know
Stay On Your Side Of Town
Give Me Chicago Anyday
I Can't Be New
Time Between Trains
Shade Of Grey
Barbed Wire Boys
May I Suggest
Movie Of My Life
Thy Kingdom Come (?)
My Strange Nation
encore: Drive [The Cars]

Susan Werner
May 19, 2006 (late show)
Joe's Pub
New York City, NY

Unread Book
Don't Work With Your Friends
Let's Regret This In Advance
Don't I Know You
Much At All
Tall Drink Of Water
Give Me Chicago Anyday
I Can't Be New
Less Talk More Music
Time Between Trains
Movie Of My Life
What Do I Do? (?)
Why Is Your Heaven So Small? (?)
Thy Kingdom Come (?)
My Strange Nation
first encore: Drive [The Cars]
second encore: Never My Love [Don and Dick Addrisi]

when i left Joes pub, i forgot that the Q train stops running and a shuttle has to be taken to Ocean Ave and Newkirk so i walked home. I got in after 1am and got to bed about 2am. I was overtired and needed to sleep

i made plans with my friend George and Susan to meet them at their house and got to West Milford. i got there about 5pm after a walk to the park and back and going to the bank. We started out towards the GWBridge and there were hours worth of traffic.
so george went over the TappenZee and we headed to NJ that way. We had to go to the other side of Ringwood, near the PA border. stopping at a diner for Broiled scrod and baked potato. then the show at another Presbyterian Church. All these folk shows at churches seem to look alike.

susan was great. she played two instrumentals with this Classical player named Rolf Strum. He was tall and resembled john platt but had this long long long braided beard. he was losing his hair on his head but had this long beard. He was graying but could play. his instrumentals were boring but susan called him out to play with her and she lit him up. he even smiled

susan played two more new songs. SHe must have about 7 new gospel/doubt/questioning gawd and the organized church songs. she sang an emily dickenson poem that one of her students years ago set to music. she is also looking for him.
she sang a new song about knowing she needs to be somewhere on sunday morning but not quite there. in the middle of the song, she recalls her childhoods in church with her family and the experience through the eyes of a kid, called sunday morning

we left after saying hello and the headed back to NY. i had to drive home from george's house and got in after 1pm

yesterday, i decided to go up to the 9th ave food fest. i tried to go and got sprinkled on. i ran into lots of Aids Walkers. the walk through the city was hard and i was sick and exhausted when i got home. I think i stayed out too late or the stress and strain of my last few weeks has taken its toll. i was just pooped out and feeling tired and queasy. i stayed in last night and tried to relax and feel better. the queasyness came in waves.

i stayed in bed this morning and skipped graduation. i didnt feel well enough to get up and get dressed and drive to nassau collisium and sit there and listen to the commencement speech though i wanted to hear Senator Clinton. i just didnt feel well enough to go.
so i didnt

i am sleeping later and later or getting up and then napping. i am still tired and worn out. i dont do a whole lot but have been on the go for over a month. i like having more time at night to relax and maybe watch a movie where when i was working, i would walk every night so that i didnt get settled til i am walked by 6 and can sit down and read the paper and watch a movie or a tv show.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Thursday, May 18, 2006

the weather in chicago

cause for hope


universal soldier was a reoccurring theme of a dream i had last night. it was being sung by tracey grammer.

He's five feet two and he's six feet four
He fights with missiles and with spears
He's all of 31 and he's only 17
He's been a soldier for a thousand years

He's a Catholic, a Hindu, an atheist, a Jain,
a Buddhist and a Baptist and a Jew
and he knows he shouldn't kill
and he knows he always will
kill you for me my friend and me for you

And he's fighting for Canada,
he's fighting for France,
he's fighting for the USA,
and he's fighting for the Russians
and he's fighting for Japan,
and he thinks we'll put an end to war this way

And he's fighting for Democracy
and fighting for the Reds
He says it's for the peace of all
He's the one who must decide
who's to live and who's to die
and he never sees the writing on the walls

But without him how would Hitler have
condemned him at Dachau
Without him Caesar would have stood alone
He's the one who gives his body
as a weapon to a war
and without him all this killing can't go on

He's the universal soldier and he
really is to blame
His orders come from far away no more
They come from him, and you, and me
and brothers can't you see
this is not the way we put an end to war.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

the weather in chicago

"MAYBE ..."

the weather in chicago

"MAYBE ...

Capricorn Horoscope for week of May 18, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of May 18, 2006

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
An old African proverb says that cattle are wealth, and there are no cattle without dung. This idea is applicable to you right now. The source of your greatest riches has produced some waste matter that needs to be cleaned up. Ironically, if you act expeditiously, the waste matter could be turned into more riches. Take a hint from the Masai people, who use cattle dung as plaster in building their homes. The scent helps repel lions, who dislike it, from venturing too close.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Monday, May 15, 2006

the heart shaped potato

Woman Discovers Heart-Shaped Potato

BOISE, Idaho (AP) -- The president of the Idaho Potato Commission says there's no way a heart-shaped potato should have made it through the state's inspection system without being pulled aside and turned into french fries. And yet, it did - during Potato Lover's Month.

"I would guarantee someone saw it and thought, 'This is cool, we'll let this go through,'" said commission president Frank Muir. "Typically, unique shapes will go into processing - dehydrated or cut up into french fries."

The spud wound up in the kitchen of someone with a receptive eye.

"I love hearts," said Linda Greene of Moon Township, Pa., who discovered the potato in February but only recently alerted the potato commission to the Valentine-shaped tuber. "My engagement ring is actually a heart shape. Anything heart-shaped I go crazy for."

She is storing the potato in a cupboard in her basement.

"I don't have the heart to cut it," she said.

February was designated Potato Lover's Month by Congress after growers lobbied for a way to sell more potatoes during a slow month. It's also the month of Mr. Potato Head's recognized birthday, Feb. 5.

Idaho is the nation's largest potato producer and grows about one-third of all the potatoes in the United States. Last year, the state produced 12.5 billion pounds.

Buy AP Photo Reprints

Greene said she had never heard of the commission until she searched the Internet to share her find with someone capable of appreciating its significance. She then e-mailed a picture of herself holding the potato over her own heart to the commission.

Muir said his office received her e-mail in March and got confirmation photos last month. He said the special spud was not a public relations ploy.

"We didn't plant it," said Muir. "We'll have to start sorting for heart-shaped potatoes."

He'd have a customer in Pennsylvania.

"It's a shame they can't grow them and market them," Greene said. "I wonder if I planted mine if I would get heart-shaped potatoes?"

© 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. Learn more about our Privacy Policy.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

united 93

saturday i went to see United 93 the movie. It was a straightforward telling of the story of the Plane that went down in Schwanksville PA on 9-11. the content was pieced together from black boxes and phone calls and personal records. it doesnt get into why or who the people were but the man who tried to save the plane were heros.

it wasnt too early or too late but it was a hard movie to watch

United 93

united 93 reviews

the weather in chicago


art for free

today, i used my bank of america card to go to the jewish museum to see the permanent collection, the max lieberman and the eva hesse exhibitiion. when i walked out of the building and down the street i stumbled on the Guggenheim and went in, again on my bank of america card so i saw the last day of the david smith exhibition. I also saw ed bradley and his lady friend with the headset on. I too had my headset and was listening to the exhibition on audio.

i then walked down 5th ave, lit a candle at St Jude in St Patricks catherdral and found an art exhibition in rockerfeller center. I went to Grand Central to see the building and then home. a day of art for free

jewish museum


Max lieberman

Guggenheim museum NY

David Smith

Saturday, May 13, 2006

the weather in chicago


Friday, May 12, 2006

time out new york horoscope

Capricorn Dec 22–Jan 19

Courtesy of a major cosmic conference, you can expect a happy ending to the recent “My Life in Crisis” chapter. But being the smart and cautious Goat, you are correct to wait until the ink is dry, the goods are delivered or the proper introductions are made. Accept every invitation over the weekend, talk with everyone you meet, and if romance comes a-callin’, for heaven’s sake, be spontaneous and answer the door!



what a day i had yesterday

i woke up way way way too early for my appointment at the Childrens Center for Cirriculum Developer. I started to do errands around the house and got a call from the Liaison at the Training Center who has been scheduling my appointments. She wanted some information from me and i told her that she caught me as i was leaving. I then got a call from the NYTIMES seeing if i got my paper, as i had not gotten one the day before.
I answered the phone and it took a few minutes.

I walked to the train and happened to see a woman on the platform dressed in a black suit and started up a conversation. She has been in advertising and then in training in hospitals and now is a management consultant. she was going into manhattan to meet with two perspective clients. She and i talked about situational leadership, motivational interviewing and my interview as well as my teaching and the organization i worked for.
she gave me her card as we were parting, and we talked about the possibility of my working with her as a consultant. she always needs people to do sessions and trainings.
she would invite me to her next training. i will mail her my resume.

i was thinking about having a student as a reference. I could use one of the two student/employees at CMS but i would have to make contact with them. I was thinking where else could i get a reference to reflect my teaching skills. The MAPP people were a given and no current student until grades are in.

i went to my interview and i think this woman is looking for a professional writer. I am not a writers. during the interview, which she kept short, she wrote down that she thought i was better suited for training. She gave me an exercise to complete to connect safety to educational neglect. it was a little overwhelming to think i had to write cirriculum for her but when i came home from school. I think i got some angle to write about. the interviewer knew Dr. Cohen someone who i have worked with for many year and is currently, a faculty member at Adelphi.

i went to the restroom and started talking to a woman whose mom was coming out of the hospital.. i chatted chatted chatted and as we were talking in the hallway, i ran into an ex student who was now a SupII and was in training. She and i talked alot and i asked her if she would be a reference for me. She said she would. I have been given my reference who can vouche for 3 courses.

i left the childrens center and didnt come right home. I went downtown against my best judgement and then to City Bakery for a pitstop before i started home. I ran into Edith Holzer from Cofcca who asked me if i was still at CMS. I informed her of my situation and she told me that Naomi Lynch, their training liaison was leaving in December and to use Naomi's name in my dealings with ACS.

i went home and got ready for school. I went to get a package that i thought was the rest of the stuff from my office that i am expecting. There was a spot in front of the post office and it happened to be a book of joni mitchell's artwork from my friend scott. I went to school and had to get my ticket for graduation.
they asked if i wanted to order a gown or attend as a spectator. I would not dress in a cap and gown. i wanted to hear Senator Clinton though. I will go there on May 22 at 9am

i went to the computer center to work on my references and sat down at a computer. When i was leaving, a noticed a job posting near computer Number 1. it was for a seasoned child welfare professional for the Institute of child abuse and neglect in fairfax virginia. i took the posting but i swear it was not there when i sat down at the computer center and no one used that computer. Maybe they took it out of the printer and placed it there while i was typing my references.

class went well.

a postcard story

Shana -- or is it Shauna? -- sent an awe inspiring postcard depicting the
treats we all craved at one time or another throughout our lives. This
"Christmas Theme" postcard displays "cookies in the shape of snow men, ice skates,
snowflakes and mittens" In two cups of what can only be hot chocolate with
whipped cream a snowman and a snowflake stick out from the cups inviting a
celebration of warmth and seasonal merriment.

I call this piece Brilliance because on AOL this morning there was a similar
photo displaying treats of all sizes and shapes under this caption.


Shana sat with her cup of coffee looking down the block towards Main Street.
It was a quiet morning filled with a silence that made her reflect on the
many places she had visited throughout her life.

She turned her head to look at a wall of postcards she had collected from
all over the United States. Each postcard represented a point and time in her
life. She had spent many years sharing her love of travel by sending postcards
to her three nieces. Each postcard depicted more than the photo on the
front; in many ways they shared a map of her hopes and dreams.

Whether it was during conferences in Albany, where she sat and listened to
lectures by strangers. Or while driving past the magnificent cornstalks of
Iowa, when she decided to take to the road between meetings. Or the cheese of
Wisconsin where she watched people indulge in the fine art of enjoying the
magic of conversation; to the mountains and bridges of Pittsburgh where over time
she could see beyond the coal covered skies and discover the enchantment of
shared time.

Shana's life was defined in photos taken by others to define the places she
had been. Her three nieces always marveled at the different cards sent by
Aunt Shana. Shana, in their eyes was a world traveler.

In reality, Shana was a hard working woman who discovered the special ways
to enjoy life while making ends meet. She knew deep down that "ends never
meet" but she could share the postcards spread out over time like breadcrumbs
through an immense forest.

Often, Shana when sitting quietly would reflect on the cards seeing details
hidden behind the photos. She could escape in to these scenes and journey
back to that place and time. Shana was not afraid to reflect on her past, she
had few regrets and many dreams left to chase.

She told a friend once, "the postcards allow me to chase my dreams." She
knew not many could understand the sentiment, but she was never embarrassed by
saying what was on her mind.

Sitting and focusing on the street light at the corner of her block, Shana
could feel the urge building up inside herself. That urge that allowed her the
freedom to travel. A never ending expression of her desire to be on the
move. Sitting idle made her happy, but being out on the road discovering new
people and places gave her a reason to believe.

She believed in the little miracles of life, like her three nieces she
always found time to drop a line to. They were growing older now. So many
postcards over time dropped in mailboxes from Airports, Hotels, and roadside Diners;
each one sent with a declaration of her love and admiration.

She closed her eyes and whispered the final words of an old novel she read
as a young girl in High School. A novel she was told many times was "for men."
She smiled at the thought of an argument she had with a man in a lobby of a
hotel outside of Boise, Iowa.

It was after a long and tiresome day of lectures and endless presentations.
She stopped in to the hotel's bar called "Heaven's Catch." She sat down
placing her belongings down. It was late and there was only one man sitting at the
bar. She ordered her drink and sat for a moment looking at the Television.

On the screen played over and over again was the tragedy of the days events.
The World Trade Center Towers, she had visited with her nieces, taken
pictures with them smiling and sharing ice cream sodas were gone. She could not
remember why her bosses thought it important to continue with things as
scheduled throughout the day. The world was in a state of confusion and the company
she worked for decided the only way to deal with the tragedy was to carry on
as usual.

She hated the phrase, "carry on as usual." Nothing was normal anymore. She
had called her nieces throughout the day to check and make sure they were
fine. She wanted to know if her sister had gotten home from work yet. Her sister
and brother-in-law both worked in the World Trade Center. Staying focused on
the presentations throughout the day had made her feel nauseous and
disoriented. Her boss insisted "if you carry on as usual all this will pass."

At the bar she sat realizing for the first time how devastating the visions
affected her. She looked down at her drink and said out loud, "Is this
heaven?" The man at the other end of the bar held up his glass and replied, "No,
it's Iowa." The bartender smiled for the first time all day and nodded his head
feeling for a moment safe and secure.

The man asked her,"Where you from?" She looked at the screen and without
missing a beat responded, "Ground Zero." The bartender looked at the man and
they immediately were at her side. She told them how she had not heard yet from
her sister who worked in the World Trade Center. She told them she had
reached her three nieces and they were worried. She told them how her boss asked
that she "carry on as usual."

The man who lived and worked nearby as a tractor salesman blurted out his
feelings about Corporate America and the huge cog in the lost values of the
American dream. She was not certain this had much to do with making her feel
better but she appreciated his support.

She whispered to herself the last words of the novel she could not get out
of her head, "And nobody, nobody knows what's going to happen to anybody
besides the forlorn rags of growing old." The bartender asked her what she meant.
The man next to her looked bewildered and confused.

She thought for a moment staring at the television screen, "It's from On The
Road by Jack Kerouac." The bartender shook his head and the man sat back and
told her what she had heard a hundred times in her life, "Women don't read
that rubbage. That's a man's book!"

She was not in the mood for being characterized and categorized; she told
him, "Then explain to me why I'm sitting in a damn bar talking to you?" She had
made her point and both men agreed that times had changed.

She looked at her cell phone, picked it up numerous times to ensure it was
charged. She said to them "Waiting is the hardest part." They both agreed and
offered to wait it out with her. Soon, each of them were picking up the cell
phone to make certain it was working. While they watched the TV screen almost
mesmerized by the constant flow of the same scenes over and over again Shana
noticed behind the bar, hundreds of postcards taped to a mirror. On one
postcard was a photo of the World Trade Center. She asked the bartender if she
could see it.

He handed it to her after reading out loud the inscription on the back:

Dear Joe,
Thanks for the talk. Sorry, I kept you up late. I got back with my wife and
we're doing fine. If you're ever in New York, look me up and we can have a
drink on the top of the world! Sincerely, Charlie Morse

The man lifted his glass high above his head and shouted, "To Charlie
Morse!" They all agreed they hoped Charlie Morse was ok at the top of the world.
The phone started to ring and for a moment they felt startled and each sensed
their hearts beating faster.

Shana picked up the phone. "Is everyone all right?" The two men looked at
her facial expressions feeling themselves inwardly praying. Shana's eyes began
to tear and she put her head in hands weeping. Both men began to sob not
knowing why. They could feel their fist clenching fighting back the urge to punch
something. She began weeping louder and saying "Yes," "Oh My God!" "Uh huh"
"Thank God."

It was the sound in her voice when she said "Thank God" that made both men
take deep breaths. She spoke a while longer easing up on her elbows and at
last smiling. She closed her cell phone. She looked at both men and shook her
head with a sigh. The bartender turned off the television. He clicked on the
jukebox. Bob Seger started singing his song "Mainstreet".

The man put out his hand and Shana took it without thinking. They danced
slowly in a bar called Heavenly Catch somewhere on the outskirts of Boise, Iowa.
Shana's sister and brother-in-law would be all right. They would carry on as

The bartender held the postcard in his hands. He took down a frame from the
wall showing an award he had gotten in a rodeo. He took out the award and
tossed it aside. He took his pen and wrote "Long Live Charlie Morse!" He put the
card in the frame and placed it back on the wall.

The next morning Shana sent out postcards. Each one depicted a photo of an
empty field in Iowa. It was brilliant and beautiful.

Keep Smiling and Rock On, Kiddrane out near Lake Marie waiting.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

the weather in chicago


Capricorn Horoscope for week of May 11, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of May 11, 2006

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Cuban tyrant Fidel Castro is so afraid of exotic assassination attempts that he has his aides burn his underwear after just one use. He apparently imagines that some dissident will find a way to saturate his unmentionables with poison during the laundering process. You're currently in no danger of having your briefs rendered toxic, Capricorn, but I nevertheless suggest that like Castro you incinerate each fresh pair when you're done wearing them--at least for the next few days. It will be a lyrically symbolic statement that you are ready to transform the way you express your sexual energy, and that will be in perfect alignment with the invitation the cosmos is offering you.

Brooklyn Rocks

Track Your Visitors on a Map!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

teh weather in chicago


a day that was more than a day

i had an appointment at unemployment yesterday to attend orientation. I found the place fine and went in about 15 minutes earlier to see a desk with an orthodox jewish guy who was talking loud on the phone to a client. He was raising his voice about this person's resume and designing the resume the way he wanted. He yelled at the people attending the orientation to stand behind the rope. It was impersonal and demeaning. collecting the forms and giving out slips with SS# and Name. Sit and wait, sit and wait, sit and wait... names called into ROOM 2- a lady came out and they yelled at her to go back to room 2. WOrkers all look over 50 degrees with comb overs and polyester pants. A woman at teh VETS only counter, doing puzzles from under her manilla folder. NOt to be seen, looking over 60... the air was ready for retirement, people viewing clients like numbers and cattle. I sat and waited finally called to room 1 by a man in red white and blue polyester pants... like you would buy in trash and vaudville BUT With a gold button shirt. WHO DRESSED THIS GUY i think. all the men, old and fat and dressed like a thrift shop. no one talked or even looked at each other.
i sat in the room and viewed the tape and filled out the forms and sat again. My name was called.. I sat next to an asian guy who introduced himself as he put his name on the blue card that you send back when you get a job. Edward never spoke except to show me that he put my information into a data base and pulled out ONE JOB that I must apply for... its with volunteersforamerica. NOthing that i want to do but i will apply by EMAIL. I tried to tell him about my pending interviews or ask how many people on his caseload... 100 a day or so...
i asked him to make copies of my presentation that i didnt copy at adelphi. i didnt know i needed that handout so i asked him for 6 copies... he made them
i was happy to leave that place

i went over to target and got my mom a mothers day present and my neices a birthday gift card and i tried not to buy stuff i dont need.
i walked all the way down flatbush and PPSW to 15th street and i found some social work books being discarded. Policy books, casework books and took em home

i came home and baked a WW recipe that involved ricotta cheese and sour cream cups and then i cleaned the bathtub and vacummed and dressed to attend my 530 interview

i went to ACS, stopped at the strand first and went upstairs to find NO ONE to greet me so i went to look for the Chief of Quality Assurance, Amy Baker. She explained the position and clearly i can do it. Its a high profile Directorship overseeing the office of Ombudsman of ACS that was created after Nixmary Brown's death. I dont think its the best job for me now. i have the skills and ability but not the desire to work the late hours and build the program. I spoke to ms baker about the other interviews and that i believe there is a place for me at ACS, i wasnt sure where. She said she would send an email to the training division director on my behalf. she said that may be the best place for me now. It more what i want to do.
as we were leaving, i was talking to her and saw her next door office mate of a woman i know from PINS world. I got anxious and was nervous and maybe i was just relieved of the anxiety of a job interview..

i walked uptown talking to my mom and met up wtih the some tourists who needed directions. I walked them to 14th street and then headed over to the party for TFF.
i was on teh corner when i ran into Ivana, the best house manager. She kissed me and hugged me and i told her about the interview. Its all like a date. the first impression you made... some dates arent right and i was brave for attending.

i saw some volunteers and all the house managers and a Program coordinator who told me I was her favorite. I did a professional and good job as a CORE. i saw the volunteer cooridinator too. VONAGE was sponsoring the party, free bar and chipolte provide some individual pulled pork nachos... ONe nacho per a time

i stayed about 45 mintues and walked to the Q train and come home after 10pm and ate dinner.. broccoli and shrimp with brown rice and i went to bed..

i woke up and have to continue to prepare my presentation. I called ACS about setting up an interview for Cirriculum Developer and i have another interview/presentation for Trainer tomorrow at 1:30pm

it was a long and anxiety provoking day... i am glad it is over

Sr Rose Thering Dies

i heard Sr Rose on NPR and about her work advocating for jews. I emailed her and she wrote back thanking me for my kind words. I read this in yesterdays TIMES

Sister Rose Thering, Nun Dedicated to Bridging Gap With Judaism, Dies at 85

Published: May 8, 2006

Sister Rose Thering, a Roman Catholic nun and a former professor at Seton Hall University who battled anti-Semitism within her church and contributed to a historic Vatican declaration that Jews were not collectively responsible for the death of Jesus, died on Saturday at a convent in Racine, Wis. She was 85.

The cause was kidney failure, said Catherine Memory, a university spokeswoman. She said Sister Rose died at the Siena Center of the Sisters of St. Dominic, where she entered religious life in 1936 and had lived since retiring last year as professor emerita of education at Seton Hall, in South Orange, N.J.

Sister Rose — who wore a Star of David fused to the cross on her neck, used words like "chutzpah," and closed her letters with "shalom" — devoted most of her adult life to writing, lecturing and traveling the world in a quest to promote greater understanding in the often-strained relationships between Christians and Jews.

As a member of a commission appointed by Gov. Thomas H. Kean, she helped write a 1994 law mandating the teaching of the Holocaust and genocide in all elementary and high schools in New Jersey. At Seton Hall, where she joined the faculty in 1968, she established workshops on Judaism for church leaders and teachers and led student groups on 54 tours of Israel.

In 2004, "Sister Rose's Passion," a 39-minute documentary film on her life, won an award at the Tribeca Film Festival, and it was nominated for an Academy Award in 2005. She also received more than 80 humanitarian awards, including the Anti-Defamation League's Cardinal Bea Interfaith Award in 2004, the first to go to a woman.

"The death of Sister Rose Thering is an immense loss for the entire Seton Hall family, indeed for all men and women who seek to forge a world of greater understanding," said Msgr. Robert Sheeran, the president of Seton Hall. "For a half-century, she was an uncommon, inspired voice of reconciliation and dialogue among Christians and Jews."

On a Wisconsin farm in childhood where Jews were spoken of in whispers, in her parochial school catechisms and other religious texts that portrayed Jews as Christ-killers, Rose Thering learned the coded messages of intolerance early in life and found them unsettling. Later, as a teacher, she examined the Catholic textbooks of her students more critically and was shocked by what she found.

"I had ordered the most widely used Catholic religious teaching material from high school and grade school," she recalled in 2004. "When I began to read, it almost made me ill." She cited a passage that asked, "Why did the Jews commit the great sin of putting God himself to death?" and another declaring, "The worst deed of the Jewish people was the murder of the Messiah."

She was in her 30's and had been teaching for years when she resolved to act against what she saw as a fundamental flaw in church teaching. The result was a study of anti-Semitism in Catholic texts and a dissertation for her 1961 doctorate at St. Louis University that propounded the evidence: textbooks and preachings that abounded in calumnies against Jews and Judaism. Her work was published later in an anthology, "Faith and Prejudice" (Paulist Press).

In 1962, when Pope John XXIII convened the ecumenical council known as Vatican II, Cardinal Augustin Bea used Sister Rose's study to draft portions of the 1965 Vatican document "Nostra Aetate," ("In Our Age"), which reversed church policy and declared of Christ's death that "what happened in his passion cannot be charged against all the Jews, without distinction, then alive, nor against the Jews of today," and, as for teaching, added: "The Jews should not be presented as rejected or accursed by God."

"They were 15 lines in Latin," Sister Rose recalled later, "but they changed everything."

In Catholic texts, in sermons, and in other pronouncements of the church, a new attitude toward Jews was officially adopted, and while centuries-old wounds remained, dialogues between the church and Israel and between Catholics and Jews have been elevated to a more respectful plane over time.

Sister Rose became an activist-teacher. She was hired at Seton Hall by Msgr. John Oesterreicher, an Austrian Jew who fled the Nazis in 1938. He converted to Catholicism, became a priest and in 1953 founded the Institute of Judeo-Christian Studies at Seton Hall, a groundbreaking program that included priests, nuns and rabbis on the faculty and offered seminars for clergy, teachers and others.

In 1974, Sister Rose presented a menorah to Pope Paul VI at the Vatican. In 1986, she went to Austria to protest the inauguration of President Kurt Waldheim, the former United Nations secretary general, who had served in a Nazi army unit implicated in the deportation of Jews from Greece in World War II. In 1987, she went to the Soviet Union to protest the government's treatment of Russian Jews.

Rose Elizabeth Thering was born on Aug. 9, 1920, in Plain, Wis., the sixth of 11 children in a German-American farm family that prayed together daily. She joined the Sisters of St. Dominic at 16, and earned a bachelor's degree from the Dominican College in Racine in 1953, a master's degree from the College of St. Thomas in St. Paul in 1957 and a doctorate at St. Louis University four years later.

In recognition of her interfaith work, the Rose Thering Endowment for Jewish-Christian Studies was established at Seton Hall in 1992; it has given scholarships to 350 teachers for graduate studies on the Holocaust and other subjects.

She is survived by two brothers, Raymond Thering, of Reedsburg, Wis., and Dr. H. R. Thering, of El Paso, Tex.; and four sisters, Lucille Neuheisel, of Sauk City, Wis., Imelda Misslish, of Prairie du Sac, Wis., Bernice Leigel, of Muscoda, Wis., and Mary Phillips, of Middleton, Wis.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Sunday, May 07, 2006

voice of BAM

i saw voice of Bam yesterday and thought what a tender and considerate telling of a story that depicted the killing of 30,000- 60,000 people. The earthquake in BAM is the same as the Hurricane in New Orleans to the Irani people. i bet because it occurred in Iran, we didnt get much news of this national disaster. The telling of the story was through the photographs found and the personal stories of parents, children and spouses who survived. Its a highly personal look at this disaster.

The Tribeca Jury agreed and award it a special jury prize of 25,000

i woke up to find that The Audience award winning movie was a moving tale of a homeless 60 year who survived Hiroshima and moved to NY. the NY documentary was the one i saw about the homeless iraqi vet and finally the international Narrative was a spanish film about returning from war.... i decided to stay in bed and skip the the audience award winner and then the NY documentary because it was plain out and out depressing and i saw it last sunday.. if i wanted to see the spanish film it i had a ticket for 4pm

i then remembered that I had read on folktravelers LJ that this is free museum month with Bank of America credit card.. so i walked the Botantical Gardens in Brooklyn .. sat in the Cherry blossom, that were almost none existant, and prepared my presentation for wednesday. i sat in the sun, in the peace and quiet of the gardens and when i was done, took in the Shakespeare garden and the Herb garden and the Japanese garden and HUGE peonies and the Lilacs in bloom... what a way to come down from weeks of movies... much better than another day of being overstimulated by films and images and sound...

i will go back and i will go to the other NYC museums this month... Tuesday is free day at BBG..anyway..

Guggenheim is free
Rubin Museum is free
Jewish Museum is free
museum of the barrio is free
moving image is free
ps 1 is free
childrens museum of manhattan is free
and the NY botantical Gardens

the weather in chicago


Saturday, May 06, 2006

saturday at TFF

i had a three shift movie today...

Just like the Son... a special little film that has an original Plot. AJ ortiz the lead actor came in and i recognized his mom. She was the Admin Assist at Adelphi and i remember meeting AJ and seeing his headshots and his modeling work. I also met grandma who was at the screening. I hope this movie has legs.

"Just Like the Son," directed and written by Morgan J. Freeman (U.S.A.) - World Premiere.
A petty thief's mentoring of an apparent orphan takes a profound turn when he kidnaps the boy from a foster home and drives him cross-country to his sister's house in Texas. This charming road movie logs plenty of poignant moments without cloying sentiment. Starring Mark Webber and Rosie Perez.

the second movie i saw was a little sophmoric but the cast made the movie before they hit with other projects.

Darren Giles has lost his college scholarship, can't work up the courage to ask out the girl of his dreams and can't even afford to stay in college another semester. Unless he can survive the teenage dominatrix, New York's largest drug mogul, convince his parents he's not gay, write a paper on Dante's Inferno, escape three thugs chasing the wrong guy and sell fifty pills of ecstasy in time to make his tuition payment.ast overview, first billed only:
Lou Taylor Pucci .... Darren from Thumbsucker
Kristen Bell .... Gracie from Veronica Mars
John Hensley .... Coleman From Nip and Tuck
Nora Zehetner .... Michelle from everwood

the last movie of the day is the saddest and most impressive- it was subtle and slowly unfolded- telling the story of peoples lost lives through their found photographs
Voices of Bam is a documentary about the earthquake that hit the iranian city of BAM.
20,000 or 30,000 or 60,000 iranis were lost in this natural tragedy- kids are orphaned and parents lost kids-
Voices of Bam

A film by Aliona van der Horst and Maasja Ooms. The documentary had it's premiere at Internationaal Film Festival Rotterdam (January 2006) and is awarded in Nyon (Prix du jury interreligieux) and selected for competition at Tribeca Film Festival NY, Hotdocs and Documenta Madrid.

Ever since the earthquake of December 2003, Bam in Southern Iran is nothing but rubble and ruin. Not only have its walls crumbled, exposing kitchens and courtyards, the hearts of its people too, appear to have fallen open. Like a ghost, the camera drifts through the town, recording the everyday events of Bam’s inhabitants and picking up the intimate, inner conversations they have with their dear departed. In doing so, the film also touches upon the relationship between men and women in Iran and their relationship to God. Above all, ‘Voices of Bam’ is an ode to the indefatigable life-force embodied by the people of this town. The film is inspired by photographs that were recovered from the town’s debris...the only tangible mementoes left of life before the earthquake.

Jury report NYON. The Interreligious Jury awards its prize to Voices of Bam by Aliona van der Horst and Maasja Ooms for reminding us, that after the news cameras have gone, natural disasters leave behind shattered lives to rebuild, difficult questions about God, and decisions to be made, physical and ethical tasks to endure, and losses to be mourned and remembered, as life goes on. The film impressed the jury by its artistic use of photos and voices which bring the dead back to us.

earth day by shtinky puddin

little Pink sock


Friday i went to manhattan and had a rather anxious day. I got a call on thursday about another interview and scheduled it for monday at 530pm for the Director of First Safety. what that is... i dont know
i also left my car open and someone took my coin change holder but nothing else. I wasnt sure i could find my registration so that made me anxious... all and all it was all good.. appointment was made, registration was found adn rainsuit still remains in the trunk..

i went to see a movie called Jesus Camp

In Jesus Camp, Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady, directors of the
acclaimed film The Boys of Baraka, introduce us to children who are
growing up as evangelical Christians. Twelve-year-old Levi, who was
"saved" when he was five, is a shy boy except when he is filled with
the Holy Spirit. Nine-year-old Rachael is outspoken in her love for
the Lord. They are home-schooled by their Christian parents and
interact with their peers at church and church events. In the summer
they travel to Becky Fischer's "Kids on Fire" summer camp in Devil's
Lake, North Dakota, to intensify their devotion to the Lord. Fischer
is a children's pastor, who specializes in tapping into the hearts and
minds of kids on their level. She recognizes that this generation
accesses information through video, images, and music. Intercut with
scenes of the kids is the radio commentary of Mike Papantonio, a
Christian who believes that the Evangelical movement has strayed from
the original teachings of love that Jesus died for. He worries that
the movement's position on the environment, creationism, and other
fundamental tenets are short-sighted and will hurt the conservative
movement in the end. And where does the government land in all this?
The Evangelicals apply unceasing pressure to their elected officials,
and have made great strides with Bush as their president. What kind of
force will these kids be in politics and religion when they grow up?
The kids of Jesus Camp are smart, empowered, speak in tongues, and are
determined to change the world.
- Nancy Schafer

the premise for Becky Fischer the preacher is that if the Islamics or Palestinians are training children to bomb, then it is her mission to arm children with Jesus. This is a scary but worthwhile documentary. it is set in missouri and shows the best and worst of the midwest

after the movie, i walked downtown to crosby street where i was attending the Housing Works benefit where the headliner was Patty Griffin.. Patty was in town for Tribeca and scheduled this show... I was on line for over an hour but ended up with a seat and sat with Murph and his wife.

Patty sang lots of new music... Forgiveness, Useless desires, I said to the sky, Stay on the Ride, Trapeze, Burgundy Shoes, Loves throws a Line, Free, No Bad News and Racing in the Streets
of all the songs, i really like Trapeze about an aging woman who is the trapezist in the circus.
Pattys New Music lives up to Patty Griffin. MOre guitar and some blues sounds but classic patty

i then came home

Thursday, May 04, 2006


i dreamed that i rescued a one year old little girl from a jungle type environment and i called some family i knew and placed her which became a permanent placement. i explained the difficulties from her rearing and that one of her hands lacked fingers. she had a mitt for a hand and no digits. i am not sure if i woke up and went back to sleep into this dream or the dream continued to have me thinking about how the child looked and how i should have adopted her myself, she seemed attached to me but i placed her with a compentent and loving family that i knew and would help her do her best with her disabled hand and they would help her to live as functionally as she could.

and i woke up

canine comics

the comic according to guard dog

fish comics

the comic according to fish

cat comics

the comics according to cats

squirrel comics

mutts according to squirrel ....

the weather in chicago


Wednesday, May 03, 2006

one of the hotest tickets at TFF was my nightmare

I screened two movies today. I am bone tired and was overstimulated from those two experimental theater pieces yesterday. after my anxiety dreams i dragged myself to manhattan, got on the wrong train and walked down 14th street to 3rd from 6th. the extra exercise would do me good i thought.. then i saw a man in METS jacket and baseball cap, no sunglasses.. Good morning sir i said.... to mr Morgan freeman as he walked down 14th street...
to the theater i went to get ready for the first film of the day...

Marvelous... MARVELOUS
Release Date: TBD
Director: Síofra Campbell
Cast: Ewen Bremner, Martha Plimpton, Amy Ryan, Annabella Sciorra
Plot: A woman isn't happy when her flaky sister moves in and starts selling her talents as a mystical healer.
Genre: -
Review: no review
Official Website: no website

the plot was okay but it needed to be MORE MORE MORE over the top. there are many things to like about this film, the performances and soundtrack are excellent and Martha Plimpton says it all with a look. She could be Lucille Ball... one eyebrow gets raised and she has the audience eating out of her hands.. BRAVO martha Plimpton for this quirky performance...

then i took a break, went to get a susan werner ticket, went to mail a package. I have sold at least one cd a week on since i have been out of work. This time i sold the crown jewel of my sales collection. a 20 dollar cd.. .i guess susan is paid for.
the i headed back to the theater. I knew that TV SET was a hot movie but the theater was crowded and i needed seats for Jurors and special guests.. MR DENIRO's daughter.
I reserved plenty and had to ward off people from the RESERVED SECTION.. the house manager, Ivana worked with me as and special badge holder thought htey were entitled to reserved seats... I heard that the special guests were there and it turned out to be ED BURNS. i put in the two seats and luckily i had two extra seats for Ms deniro was she arrived. the jurors never came .. so i had three extra house seats. people were miffed that they came in last minute and had to get front row seats.. people kept asking if there were other seats even when i told them NO NO NO.. there were only front row seats. some TFF program coordinator took my seat so i sat in the juror seats. the place was packed and its a great movie... ill see it again as the audience award winner i think ...

The TV Set' at the Tribeca Film Festival Sends Up the Making of Sitcoms

Published: April 27, 2006

Where does bad television come from?

"The TV Set," a movie that has its premiere tomorrow night at the Tribeca Film Festival, considers the question of agency, or blame, for the dreck that generally passes for the modern sitcom.

As fate, or the process, would have it, everyone who touches the mythical pilot at the heart of the film manages to leave it a little worse for wear, most notably Lenny, the ferocious executive played by Sigourney Weaver. But there is enough complicity to go around: the sensitive but compliant director, the assistant director looking to make his own statement, the clueless actor who goes over the top and stays there. "The TV Set" manages to do for sitcoms what Christopher Guest's "Big Picture" did for the movie business: peel back the skin of the beast to reveal all its ungainly, moving parts.

This is a television industry where everyone smiles and wears earth tones while calmly tearing the arms and legs off a creative piece or work. "The TV Set" teeters on burlesque: a show called "Slut Wars" is held out as a monumental programming achievement. But the people who worked on the film swear on their next gig that a version of almost every vignette has happened to them.

"I don't think of this movie as strictly satire," said Jake Kasdan, a veteran of the pilot process and the writer, the director and a producer of "The TV Set." "Everything that happens in this movie is moved over just a couple of inches from what someone might say to you. I thought if we depicted the process in a very detailed, reportorial way, that the satire would be embedded within."

Lenny, who is a reprise of "Alien" — only this time Ms. Weaver plays the monster — is not a long walk from the real thing, Mr. Kasdan said.

"She is totally believable to me," he said. "She speaks her inner monologue in a way that is a bit stylized, but I can guarantee you there are people in the television business who think and act very much in the way she does."

David Duchovny plays Mike, a writer and director who has conceived "The Wexler Chronicles" as a cut-above sitcom premised on the young lead's struggle to get past the suicide of his brother. Mike has a good track record as a writer, and executives at the Panda Network like the whole gravitas-combined-with-giggles motif. Except that part about gravitas.

"There is a feeling among some of us — well, is it absolutely necessary that the brother committed suicide?" Lenny asks. Mike's manager, Alice (Judy Greer), who serves as translator and fulcrum throughout the movie, steps in to make sure it sounds as if all the people are on the same page when they are actually not in the same book. At one point he turns to her and asks: "Do you ever get tired of doing that thing? Bending the truth so it is less objectionable?"

Ms. Greer found that verisimilitude was not a problem, especially in a particularly uncomfortable audition scene that lays plain the differences between the director and the studio.

"The audition scene was so close to the money, it totally freaked me out," Ms. Greer said. "There's a part where they were talking about how the actress 'didn't let her cuteness get in the way of her prettiness.' They really talk like that. It's amazing."

Beneath the patina of civility — this is Los Angeles after all — the characters are going for the throat in the belief that there is some magic formula to get on the schedule and grind out ratings. But there is not a lot of suspense about which way things will turn out. By the time it is finished, the show is called "Call Me Crazy" and features comedic inflection points that include bodily gas.

With chronic back problems and a professionally hapless affect, Mr. Duchovny's character bears little resemblance to the mystical agent he played in "The X-Files"; instead he comes across as a decent man who ends up doing bad work because he is blown about by forces beyond his control.

"Each scene is a different version of the same lie," Mr. Duchovny said. "In show business everyone is trying to make it better, but the sheer number of people, plus the fact that nobody really knows what they are doing, makes it almost impossible to do something good."

At 31, Mr. Kasdan is already experienced at working in a medium that has a reflexive tendency toward bland, born of the need to reach huge numbers. He worked with the writer and director Judd Apatow on the series "Freaks and Geeks," which had critics hugging themselves and audiences staying away in droves.

As the son of the film director Lawrence Kasdan, he grew up with an understanding that doing creative work in a mass medium is sometimes akin to driving a race car through Jell-O.

"There has been a lot of material about the decadence and darkness in Hollywood, but very little about the average working writer or television executive," Mr. Kasdan said. "It is a very creative and chaotic system that is defined by the fact that no one is really making a commitment. At least with a movie, at some point, people agree to make it and it happens. With television you never get in the clear. You end up working to endlessly please everyone. A pilot is really a marketing pitch."

As a director he worked on "Freaks and Geeks" and "Undeclared," a short-lived 2001 series. And he now has three films under his belt ("Zero Effect," "Orange County" and "The TV Set") at a very tender age.

"Jake is deceptively relaxed, but firm in what he wants," Mr. Duchovny said. "The movie does a great job of demonstrating that when you are making a pilot, the crucible is a lot hotter."

Ms. Weaver, who has worked primarily in film, said that she did not know much about the television world but sensed that Mr. Kasdan knew more than he wanted to.

"I had to rely on Jake," she said. "I watch a few television shows, but I had no idea what went on backstage in television the way it is now."

Ms. Weaver is the daughter of a former NBC executive who brought opera and ballet to the network. That is a long way from "Slut Wars," a hootchy-suffused reality show that she celebrates with gusto during the upfronts. (In interviews, everyone associated with the movie grimly wondered whether the name and/or concept for "Slut Wars" would be kidnapped and cross over into current reality programming.)

"This was a real eye-opener for me," Ms. Weaver said, adding that she based her maniacal studio executive on a friend who works for a nonprofit and is completely passionate about what she does. Lenny is no less passionate, but apparently has very little on that whole inner-life thing.

Mr. Apatow, who served as a producer on "The TV Set" and knows his way around an audience — he was a writer of "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" — said there was an opportunity to sell out every single day a project was under way.

"It is compressed reality," he said. "All of those things in the movie have happened, maybe not on the same day or the same project, but we have friends who are working on pilots, and they call us everyday with a new nightmare."

After doing his own pilots in the last few years to very mixed effect, it must have felt nice to be part of a movie that renders those tiny horrors transparent, no?

"That's the terrible thing about television," Mr. Apatow said. "You never get your revenge. The person you feel slighted by ends up losing his job, disappearing or doing very well. Time goes by, and you lose all of your anger."

after my shift, i got a ticket to Jesus CAmp for friday and House of Sand for saturday night..

i see Just LIke son by morgan freeman
50 pills
Voice of Bam on saturday ...

now i get a break and have to work on my ACS training presentation as they called me for tuesday to present...

whoa.... a sudden rush of anxiety and a coaching lesson at adelphi tomorrow...and i should be good to go...

Capricorn Horoscope for week of May 4, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of May 4, 2006

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

Your meditation for the week comes from playwright Bertolt Brecht. "Art is not a mirror held up to reality," he said, "but a hammer with which to shape it." This is an excellent idea to keep in mind even if you're not a writer, painter, dancer, filmmaker, actor, or musician. What it means is that you now have the duty and opportunity to fully unleash the creator in you. Don't be satisfied with the world the way it is; don't sit back and complain about the dead weight of the mediocre status quo. Instead, stir up your curiosity and charisma and expressiveness and lust for life. Then rebuild everything you see so that it's in greater harmony with the laws of love.


i had a real wild anxiety dream. this was also a wild night of anxiety and i was just overstimulated. Nothing could calm me down so i went to sleep wound up, even after walking. I got up in the middle of night to eat and get a drink. I woke up again at 6am and went back to sleep. I havent got up in middle of night in ages.

I dreamed that i was in a conference room presenting to my staff- like my monthly meetings and WIlly Lugo from my old job, presented 3 critical things that the staff didnt like about me. I didnt hear the first two and the third was that i talked about my crotch too much. I asked him to see me after the meeting in a smaller room. I went to the smaller room and it became like a store or a split door and he said he had to go someone else for a while and would be back. He left me waiting. I knew that someone else was coming to use the room and we would have not move
the next scene was a college campus and the professors all round fat Botero woman were talking to me and i had two interviews scheduled for summer work. One in the basement and one near the library. One teacher handed me a slip of paper that said
"daughter my daughter" i asked her if she meant. My mother, myself as we were talking about mothers and daughters. I detailed in the dream the way my parents communicate in EACH OTHERS VOICE. MOM will say DAD wants Italian food and when i went i ask DAD he says he wants CHinese food and how you have decifer that Mom wants Italian food.
its a bit schizophrenic because you never know who wants what and when. they dont do it that often but not to hurt someone's feelings or not to answer a question directly when the answer is no.
i then was trying to get to my interview with the athletic coach but i couldnt get there. I showered and was seen and had to excuse that i had to put on the same clothes. jeans and a pink teeshirt. Then i saw myself dressed in a black skirt wiht black tube top and wet wet wet red flip flops. I found my sister swimming in a pool and asked her if i could borrow a shirt from her. i was wrestling through her closet for shirts taht would fit me and would serve the purpose to go on a Job INterview. I found two when i had to get up....

Tuesday, May 02, 2006


Tribeca film festival day 4. i started the day with experimental films. the first one was called WINDOWS.

Shoja Azari's Windows is a compilation feature film that connects nine shorts, all significantly utilizing some kind of window as a meaningful device. Most of the stories are shot through a window, either into or out of a room, office or prison cell; one simply uses the device as a critical prop. Each is a voyeuristic look at painfully ordinary drama involving stale characters, none of which are aided by the offensively poor actors portraying them.

The film begins with two shorts that, while slow and obvious, have an appreciable irony to them. The first, entitled "The Phoenix," features an old saxophone player attempting suicide by gas stove. I'll let you guess what happens. In the second, "Room With a View," a deep focus shot reveals the rape of a jogger outside while two oblivious persons sit inside watching the film An Affair to Remember. From there the stories get less and less interesting. "The View" involves a prisoner imagining a better view through his barred window. "A Family" and "Traffic Jam" both display common, yet unnaturally initiated arguments among their respective couples. "Exit 31" consists of the old bully-boyfriend/abused-girlfriend routine, its action oddly framed within the pupil of an eyeball (window to the soul?).

I think it is fair to say that short-subject films have the unfortunate reputation of being amateurish, and Windows is guilty of all the sources for such a generalization. It suffers from either pretentious self-assurance or lackadaisical indifference, depending on your perspective towards presumptuously "clever" plotting. The problem with most short films is their confinement of story. Often boxed-in with a punchline or tragic finish, they easily are synonymous with skits, gags and blunt moral tales. In the ending of "Exit 31" Azari goes so far as to employ an irrelevant, unexpected explosion, seemingly because he had no natural direction for the story's marital dispute to go.

As many as there are more bad feature films than good, there is certainly a greater ratio of bad short-subject films to good short-subject films. The reasons are simple. Short films cost less and take less time to produce. They are made in abundance by students either under assignment or independently for additional honing of techniques. And just as the beginning fiction writer may try to break in by publishing short stories before penning a novel, many amateurs make short films as a calling card in order for a later chance at directing a feature-length.

Sometimes the faults of individual shorts, particularly the problem of isolate conceit, are diminished by stringing together a collection of independent stories sharing a similar theme or gimmick. The result is typically more successful with theme (9 Lives; Night on Earth) than device (Four Rooms; Cat's Eye), and as an anthology Windows holds up to the usual weakness of the latter. Though it does have a minor semblance of connecting ideas -- Azari's statement is that the shorts are about borders -- overall the film is overly contrived.

Accompanying the film at the Tribeca Film Festival is a preceding short called 25 Letters, which is more remarkable in hindsight after watching Windows, that gives an example of how shorts tend to extend a one-note concept to multiple minutes of tedious overstatement. Here the idea is to communicate current world issues in the style of Sesame Street, as if they were made more accessible through simplification. It is a perfect bit of planning that the festival has put the short and the feature together; you can now avoid both more easily.

these were in the realm of what i could understand, Mr Azari clarfied what his view of the film was. I found it interesting but cliche at times when it dealt with social issues of Domestic violence, a rape scene aka Almadovar, and child molesting.
i agree it was overly contrived.

then i screened HCE
it was far far far out there and overstimulated me and made me crazy... but I LOVE THE FILM MAKER. he was the kindess of the all the filmmakers and the most personal and personable.. he was warm and soft and smart and most respectful.

NY, NY Narrative Feature
[HCEYY] 2006 87 min
Directed By: Richard Sylvarnes
World Premiere
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If this film sounds good, try these:


arrow A Tribute to Nam June Paik

arrow Windows
Richard Sylvarnes

Richard Sylvarnes
Richard Sylvarnes is a filmmaker and photographer whose work has been shown at national and international venues. His first feature-length film The Cloud of Unknowing premiered at the inaugural 2002 TFF, and then continued on in festivals throughout Asia and Europe and was released by Possible Films in 2004. He also made two short films: Landscape After The Battle for the band Interpol and Siberia for designer Miho Miho. Recently he collaborated with artist John Torreano on the video Dancing Man, which will premiere at the 2006 Thessaloniki Film Festival. In 2001, he formed the band Sylvarluxe with the purpose of designing sound and music for films, but the band quickly expanded. With Welsh born Katy Lewis sharing vocals, Sylvarluxe is completing the finishing touches on its first record. Sylvarnes studied at the Rochester Institute of Technology, Berklee College of Music, New York University, and the School of Visual Arts. He was also a recent guest lecturer at Harvard University. H.C.E. is his second feature.

H.C.E.," directed and written by Richard Sylvarnes (U.S.A.) - World Premiere.
In this rapid-cut, experimental, tragicomedy collage of mythology, history, literature, and comic books, Sylvarnes bounces us through a fragmented, impressionistic history of the world from Napoleon to Jesus, from Socrates to Superman and back again with a 6-year-old girl as our guide.

it was a hard movie to watch and to understand. This man is smart and used literature as the text of the film. Lots of people walked out and as i tried to reassure him, he said he expected it.

One of my colleagues tried to pay me to trade theaters so he could see the world premier of the TV Set. He tried to offer me 20 dollars to see this Sigorney Weaver/David Duchovney movie screening tomorrow in my screening room. I threw him out for being a skank...he is manipulative and has been hustling the entire festival.
i reported him to the Manager as i thought he was gonna talk her into trading my assignment.

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Monday, May 01, 2006

monday monday

i forgot to comment on the moon on saturday. It looked like a black orb with a sliver of white cresent. in the spring cool night, it was glorious. When i went to get in my car after the show, the moon was no where to be found...

today, i woke up sick to my stomach, need to vomit sick... can i call in sick and leave TFF stuck without a CORE in theater 1. i got up and tried to throw up and went back to bed for a half hour, maybe it was something i ate but i was sick. I slept again

dreaming about my roommate from college Grace and she turned into Vicky Robles, another friend... another Blur... United 93 became two lives. two lives, a line in a Mary CHapin song and my friend bobby and sally's email address... they own the domain TWOLIVES and are the biggest chapin fans ever.

i got up and showered and dressed and had a calm stomach so i went to Manhattan. i got coffee and water and checked in feeling squimish... i made it part way through the first movie when my stomach started to cramp. I took two rolaids and stayed in my seat. I was uncomfortable and sick to my stomach. After the showing, i was still sick but needed fresh air so i went for a walk. I saw the immigrant march starting to assemble in Union Square and went into whole foods, i passed on rolls that i originally thought would calm my stomach and went back to the theater.
i was feeling better through the second film that I LOVED.. and ate and apple after wards as i needed food. I drank water and a soda to keep hydrated but still had a dull head ache..
i came home hungry but still feel my stomach is fragile so i ate a salad with soy cheese and a hard boiled egg and heated a sweet potato i had in the fridge. I guess i ate something that made me sick from yesterday...

i am going to bed early as i have to be up to go to the TFF tomorrow again

today i saw a film called 37 ways to use dead sheep... a documentary on the immigration and history of the Parmir Khurgiz to Turkey and then saw CHOKING MAN... a film about a diner in Jamaica Queens and the ethnic workers who work there.. THe stars of the film where at the screening and we delightful.. i am rooting for this film

i used my vouchers for three tickets for the sunday... the audience award winner, the NY documentary award winner and the international narrative winner...three movies..three winners all at regal cinema in battery park 10-8... more movies

we are invited to a swanky volunteer party on monday the 8th at a bar on 13th and 9th ave... it should be cool...hope there is food..

the choking man

37 ways to use dead sheep
37 Uses of a Dead Sheep

Brief synopsis:

37 Uses of a Dead Sheep
Until 25 years ago, the Kirghiz tribe lived a quasi-Iron Age existence in one of the remotest places on earth. Now, having migrated an amazing five times, they live in Turkey, a tribe divided. Those over 30 pine for their nomadic history and the rugged mountains of their homeland; the young have a modern education and live in a world of pop music and internet cafés.
A feature-length mix of the ethnographic and authored documentary forms, the collaboration between distinctive director Ben Hopkins and the Kirghiz tribe makes this film a unique record of a unique people.

the choking man
'Choking Man' is set in multicultural Jamaica, Queens. At the Olympic Diner, Jorge (Octavio Gomez Berrios),the dishwasher, is choking on the American dream. Jorge is caught between his Ecuadorian roots, his new American life working at the diner for Rick (Mandy Patinkin) and his own crippling shyness. When the diner adds a bright new member to the staff, Jorge's world gets a little more complicated as his affections grow from the new waitress, a beautiful Chinese girl named Amy (Eugenia Yuan).

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