Sunday, April 30, 2006

update 2

friday night i went to weight watchers and then to FUV to answer phones and donate time to the fund drive.

saturday, i got up and relaxed and walked and went to the store and decided that i needed to write thank you letters to the interview people and then i was heading to Westport CT to see John Gorka. I had free FUV tickets but it cost me to get there, gas and EZPass. when i got there, i felt grossly out of place. There werent too many jews there and lots of kahki pants, expensive shoes and the shops where PRADA, GUGGI, Tiffany, Armani, furs... westport is as waspy as greenwich only newer money and lots of NEWMAN related things.

i loved the show, it was David Francey opening and John Gorka. I havent seen him since before his newest record 2003 so i missed him. HIs voice is beautiful and he is soo entertaining even though i have seen his shtick 20 times or more. I love watching him and his faces. I had a great time and drove home while listening to Vin Scelsa on FUV

i got to be about 1am and had to get up at 6am to go to my volunteer assignment at TFF. i had to be there at 9am and the Q isnt running only with shuttle buses so i had to take the F. as it was, i was a little early so i got coffee at dunkin donuts.

My first movie was a documentary called - when i came home When_I_Came_Home

it was about iraqui vets- three of them who are homeless after serving their country. TWo of the vets where there. I found the documentary very uncomfortable and maybe that was good. I was anxious. my anxiety about homelessness was heightened as i dont have a job right now and even though there is no chance of being homeless this documentary triggered off some personal issues for me.

the second was a narrative film called The treatment based on new yorker stories and a book by Daniel Menaker

the treatment

it was a romantic comedy by a skillful director. it will be bought i believe and shown in theaters, like Squid and WHALE

the last show of the day was a spoof on 70s horror movies called The hatchet by film maker Adam Green. THE HATCHET
Its a very funny spoof on all the horror movies of the 70s including Mercedes McNab of Buffy in the cast. it was exaggerated but a quality movie, not usually my genre but it broke up the day.

each of the TFF movies attract different audiences.

the 10am crowd was a documentary crowd
the treatment, lots of psychotherapists and older NYers
the hatchet, young marilyn mansion gothic and young film makers
the anti thesis of SAW Horror crowd.

tomorrow two more movies......

update on my life

i was scheduled to have an interview on friday morning and it got switched to thursday afternoon before school. i called and changed my hairdresser appointment to wednesday rather than thursday so i could look my better self for this interview..

so wednesday i went to get my hair done and then my first shift at TFF. i got home at 2am and went to sleep about 3am. i got up about 9 and my phone rang about 1030..the person scheduling the interview wanted to move it to 230. so i agreed.
then my phone rang again...someone on the other end...stuttered, mmmmhmmm goldberg... i said yes... she said Mr Goldberg, i said no Ms, sharon goldberg. she said she was looking for sarah goldberg and i told her she had a wrong number. I looked at the caller ID and it was my sister in law Carleen Homand and her number..
with all the goldbergs in the brooklyn phonebook, any goldberg wrong number was a wrong number,i didnt think anything of it til it hit me that my grandmothers name was sarah goldberg. i called my mom and my brother was at her house and he asked me to check his wife' s number and when i tried to retrieve it, i couldnt find it. It was not in my caller ID. the last number that was recorded was the rescheduling of the interview. freakier things have happened in my family..
i called my mom and told her and she said my brother was freaked out.

my family has a history of thinking that separate members have seen this shadowy figure in the house i grew up, the one where my grandmother died. It is just explained that the shadowy figure is my grandmother who didnt make it over to the other side. my mother also believes that if you dream of a dead family member they are sending you a message. YES my sister and mom watch that show about communication from teh other side and catch sylvia brown interviews on larry king..

i went to my interview and i was escorted to the group interview in room 3F. they could have chosen 3A-3I....i remarked...3F is my apartment number... another omen

the interview went well and i was escorted to a lounge where i was presented with a piece of a training to present when they call me to present it. THere are there choices..

this job is a job as Trainer with the City child welfare training academy. There are additional positions as cirriculum writer and supervisor there as well. I made a committment to interviewing for hte position i was called for and explained why i would like the job.

i guess i was successful if they called me back to present.


Saturday, April 29, 2006

the weather in chicago


the gift of time

i was out walking and realized that i have been the gift of time. my days were racewalks, going from home to work to my second job or home to walk and coming in 9pm to shower and eat and go to bed. Like a hamster on wheel, it was the same routine and i was exhausted.

i have been given a gift of time. a gift to wake up when my body is rested. A gift to eat when i am hungry not by the clock. a gift to walk 5 miles every day. A gift to do what i want with my time and not what i have to do. I can stop and talk to anyone for as long as i want to. There are days where i dont have to be anywhere. THere are other days where i have committments and have to be at school or an appointment or somewhere. I have had the gift to add extra volunteer assignments to my schedule. I am free to decide what i want to do and when i want to do it.

i can stay up a little later and not worry that i have to be up at 6am or be able to function. I can stay in bed a little later and totally absorb myself in giving myself what i need.

i have been given a great gift of time

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Your Five Factor Personality Profile


You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."


You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.


You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.


You have medium neuroticism.
You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

Friday, April 28, 2006

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of April 27, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of April 27, 2006

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
Here are your magic words for the coming week: spree, frolic, whoopee, carouse, escapade, fiesta, and siesta. Invoke them often as you act out their meanings. And if your research into the altered states they stir up results in complaints from people who'd prefer you to act like a predictable machine, I've written the following excuse note for you to give them: Please forgive Capricorns for departing from their routine behavior, including but not limited to disobeying orders, defying fate, sticking out their tongues, belly-laughing at odd moments, and dancing backwards on the tombstones of evildoers. They are currently under the influence of astrological factors that tend to dissolve inhibitions and awaken dormant joy.

tribeca night 1

three screenings: three documentaries

1. american cannibal- the ultimate reality show... last one on the island gets to eat their island mates

2. jack smith and the destruction of atlantis- jack smith preceeded andy whorhol in the avant guade NYC movement

3. too tough to die- filming of the 30th anniversary concert of the ramones.

who did i see... musto from the voice, little stevie van zant from Bruce springsteen's band, marky ramone, cj ramone, the lead singer of the mighty mighty bosstones.

heard alec baldwin was in the house, i missed him.....

more later....


Wednesday, April 26, 2006


i woke up at 4 or 5 and went back to sleep til about 7 and the kittie o' love was trying her damnest to wake me and i went back to sleep...I dreamed of United 93. i was at a screening or a showing of the movie..and there were lots of people around and it seemed that there were lots of emotions but not chaos

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

for free... is it worth it

i went to one of the village voice free screenings tonight. The line at the landmark theater was part of the show. I guess these people know each other and know the drill is trying to get someone in on someone's "half" meaning if you are one person on a two person ticket you are a half... and someone will "work" the line to get a half in on your half.... the people like a circus act and there are VIPS who get in first and get then the reservers are on a guest list and then the general public are let in.
I was on a list and jumped the line because i had to go to the bathroom and they let me in early. It was not half full so everyone got in
I guess more popular movies like silent HIll were a mess and a zoo...
i have signed up for Mission Impossible 2 next
lets see where it is and when...
i cant make the thursday ones right now so i have to skip some free movies
was it worth it.. this was pretty painless for a free movie...

Guys and balls
Theatrical Release Date: Apr 7, 2006 (Limited)
Apr 28, 2006 (Limited)

Cast & Crew:
Maximillian Brückner, Lisa Marie Potthoff, Jochen Stern, directed by Sherry Horman more »

Ecki is a young gay man who works in a bakery in Dortmund and plays soccer on his local team. Already under pressure for playing badly, his homophobic team-members surprise him in a compromising position and throw him off the team. With the help of his sister and a cranky former soccer star, he tries to form an all-gay soccer team to challenge his old team in a grudge match. more »

MPAA Rating: R - for sexual content, nudity and language

Runtime: 1 hour, 46 minutes

Release Company: Regent Releasing

Genre: Comedies, Foreign Films, Sports/Recreation, Soccer, Comedy, Gay/Lesbian

Official Website:
The Official Guys and Balls Site

the weather in chicago


gifts are never late

i have found that there are lots of things that are positive, gifts that have been coming my way for just my being me. I guess if you open your eyes to seeing the gifts they are really there.

through the time that i have been home, i have lived the moments whatever they bring and as they occur. I have found that if i ask for things, i generally get them. I have asked if the restroom at Connecticut muffin was really out of service .. when i asked i found out that it was not that i needed a key. when i gave information about the TFF to the membership coordinator at FUV and as i asked her for the "reward" of 1 cd, she reached in her draw and pulled out two special addition cds that she gave me.
i have decided long along that asking either brings the answer YES or NO. i am not afraid of NO and i get more YES answers than NO answers.
i have found that lovely little surprises have come to me when i open myself up and recognize how abundant the world is.

i am also more humble about the gifts i am receiving- i dont assume that gift are there for me. They are granted to me.. i signed on a CORE volunteer before i knew there was a stipend. I offered my time and energy and got a stipend in return. i called and asked about changing my hairdresser appointment and got the appointment changed to a different time, not better but one that is more flexible and allows for me to go to my new interview with new hair.

i guess getting an interview for a training position with ACS is a gift. I am going on thursday at 2pm and not friday at 10. Therefore, i can possibly avoid CMS staff as they are in case conferencs at that time and i can sneak into queens and go on to school afterwards.

Elizabeth 1

I got caught up in the HBO series on Elizabeth. It was an amazing biopic on this outstanding Queen. She may have never married but she was no virgin queen. she took lovers and was flirty but never had intercourse. It shows where love and life and business and the men who loved her had to accept her position and her true love, ruling england. She shows her female side and rules with a heavy hand when she needs to...and its hot..

Elizabeth I from HBO

Emmy®-winner Helen Mirren and Oscar®-winner Jeremy Irons star in Elizabeth I, a two-part HBO Films miniseries event that explores the intersection of the private and public life of Elizabeth I (Mirren) in the latter half of her reign, offering a personal look at her allies, her enemies and her suitors as she struggled to survive in a male-dominated world. Part 1 explores the middle-aged Elizabeth's tempestuous relationship with the Earl of Leicester (Irons) as it survives a French suitor, war, treason, and illness. Part 2 follows Elizabeth through her later years, during which she had an equally passionate affair with the young, ambitious Earl of Essex (Hugh Dancy), who had been raised, ironically, by his stepfather Leicester.

Elizabeth I sheds light on both the personal and public side of England's most enigmatic queen. The daughter of King Henry VIII, Elizabeth I (1533-1603) reunited a nation divided by religious strife, faced down the Spanish Armada and, after an unprecedented 45-year reign, died one of England's best-loved monarchs. During her time as Queen, poets and playwrights wrote about her, artists painted her, and composers dedicated works to her, all contributing to the legend of the "Virgin Queen" who never married. In the public's mind, Elizabeth's romantic life is nearly completely overshadowed by her political achievements and military triumphs. Elizabeth I looks beyond the myth at the woman behind the crown, striking a balance between the queen's desire to find love and passion, and her responsibility to the monarchy.

Helen Mirren has won two Emmy ® Awards (for The Passion of Ayn Rand and Prime Suspect 4: Scent of Darkness); a Golden Globe® Award for Losing Chase; and three BAFTA Awards for her starring role in the series Prime Suspect. Jeremy Irons won an Academy Award® and a Golden Globe® Award for his performance as Claus von Bulow in "Reversal of Fortune." He also received two other Golden Globe® nominations, for "The Mission" and "Brideshead Revisited."

Filmed in Vilnius, Lithuania, Elizabeth I was directed by Tom Hooper, a Best Director Emmy® nominee for Prime Suspect 6: The Last Witness, which also starred Mirren. The film was written by BAFTA-winning screenwriter and acclaimed novelist Nigel Williams (The Wimbledon Poisoner, Bertie and Elizabeth, Uncle Adolf).

Historical overview:
Elizabeth I was born in 1533 to Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn. Although she entertained many marriage proposals and flirted incessantly, she never married or had children. Elizabeth, the last of the Tudors, died at seventy years of age after a very successful forty-four year reign.

Elizabeth inherited a tattered realm: dissension between Catholics and Protestants tore at the very foundation of society; the royal treasury had been bled dry by Mary and her advisors, Mary's loss of Calais left England with no continental possessions for the first time since the arrival of the Normans in 1066 and many (mainly Catholics) doubted Elizabeth's claim to the throne. Continental affairs added to the problems - France had a strong footland in Scotland, and Spain, the strongest western nation at the time, posed a threat to the security of the realm. Elizabeth proved most calm and calculating (even though she had a horrendous temper) in her political acumen, employing capable and distinguished men to carrying out royal prerogative.

Her first order of business was to eliminate religious unrest. Elizabeth lacked the fanaticism of her siblings, Edward VI favored Protestant radicalism, Mary I, conservative Catholicism, which enabled her to devise a compromise that,basically, reinstated Henrician reforms. She was, however, compelled to take a stronger Protestant stance for two reasons: the machinations of Mary Queen of Scots and persecution of continental Protestants by the two strongholds of Orthodox Catholicism, Spain and France. The situation with Mary Queen of Scots was most vexing to Elizabeth. Mary, in Elizabeth's custody beginning in 1568 (for her own protection from radical Protestants and disgruntled Scots), gained the loyalty of Catholic factions and instituted several-failed assassination/overthrow plots against her cousin, Elizabeth. After irrefutable evidence of Mary's involvement in such plots came to light, Elizabeth sadly succumbed to the pressure from her advisors and had the Scottish princess executed in 1587.

The persecution of continental Protestants forced Elizabeth into war, a situation which she desperately tried to avoid. She sent an army to aid French Huguenots (Calvinists who had settled in France) after a 1572 massacre wherein over three thousand Huguenots lost their lives. She sent further assistance to Protestant factions on the continent and in Scotland following the emergence of radical Catholic groups and assisted Belgium in their bid to gain independence from Spain. The situation came to head after Elizabeth rejected a marriage proposal from Philip II of Spain; the indignant Spanish King, incensed by English piracy and forays in New World exploration, sent his much-feared Armada to raid England. However, the English won the naval battle handily, due as much to bad weather as to English naval prowess. England emerged as the world's strongest naval power, setting the stage for later English imperial designs.

Elizabeth was a master of political science. She inherited her father's supremacist view of the monarchy, but showed great wisdom by refusing to directly antagonize Parliament. She acquired undying devotion from her advisement council, who were constantly perplexed by her habit of waiting to the last minute to make decisions. She used the varying factions (instead of being used by them, as were her siblings), playing one off another until the exhausted combatants came to her for resolution of their grievances. Few English monarchs enjoyed such political power, while still maintaining the devotion of the whole of English society.

Elizabeth's reign was during one of the more constructive periods in English history. Literature bloomed through the works of Spenser, Marlowe and Shakespeare. Francis Drake and Walter Raleigh were instrumental in expanding English influence in the New World. Elizabeth's religious compromise laid many fears to rest. Fashion and education came to the fore because of Elizabeth's penchant for knowledge, courtly behavior and extravagant dress. Good Queen Bess, as she came to called, maintained a regal air until the day she died; a quote, from a letter by Paul Hentzen, reveals the aging queen's regal nature: "Next came the Queen in the sixty-fifth year of her age, as we were told, very majestic; her face oblong, fair, but wrinkled; her eyes small yet black and pleasant; her nose a little hooked; her lips narrow... she had in her ear two pearls, with very rich drops... her air was stately; her manner of speaking mild and obliging." This regal figure surely had her faults, but the last Tudor excelled at rising to challenges and emerging victorious.


my dreams came in snippets and they all seemed to have occurred at a camp like setting.

i dreamed about lisbeth, a woman i worked with- she is a competent worker and mother of 2 and is in social work school. but she doesnt have confidence in her skills and abilities. I dreamed of lisbeth and she was talking about something i was clear she could do but i was encouraging her in the dream

in the next scene i saw lucinda williams and was amazed that she was unsure how her talent compares to the other singer songwriters (mary chapin carpenter)- I was amazed at how humble and unsure she was of her talent

i woke up to feed the cat and went back to sleep and dreamed of the camp setting again. there were rooms. i knew i needed to make coffee so i was opening a cabinet after several attempts adn getting to making coffee. I knew i had to make it and couldnt quite get there. when i opened the cabinet, i saw small bugs that i wanted to shield from the eyesight of my aunt from florida. I started to take out the filters and coffee

i then asked about the new little cats. Someone had gotten a kitten and it had gotten into flour. the kittie was covered with flour. someone suggested that you give it bath and i saw the kittie with flour in its eyes. I was upset and desparate to get the cat some help. someone said let the kittie clean itself up. i saw its eye closed and one open. I looked at the cat and knew i wanted to help but didnt know how. someone said it will take care of itself, i then saw the kittie and her eye was open and the flour seemed to be disappearing and i woke up a panic over the kittie

Monday, April 24, 2006

the weather in chicago



i dreamed that i asked my ex-executive director for change and he gave me 70 dollars too much money. I contemplated keeping the extra money but i approached him and informed him that he gave me too much money and i asked him to make change. he couldnt see where he gave me too much and then when i addressed it again, he tried to "pay" me in goods (stuffed animals) i tried to explain to him that i was doing the "right" thing and ethically was trying to give him back what he gave me as an overage and he tried to repay in something that was worth less. I couldnt not use the stuffed animals nor did i want them, i wanted him to exchange the overage in cash not in goods and services
in the next scene of the dream, there were easter eggs, those plastic eggs that were available for everyone i worked with. They were being disseminated from a shoot, that looked like a mousehole. It seems taht all the sets that they put together were running out so they had to make more UP. Someone asked me if i got mine and i said i had not, so they handed me one. it contained small little toys that looked like little small pillows or spongebob pillows. there was nothing in there that i wanted. I didnt want the pillows or the jelly beans.
i then saw a separate area for the orthodox jewish kids who didnt celebrate easter, there was a dark door and they were waiting for something for them to exit out the door.

i woke up. My cat has figured out how to get me up my finding a space where she can sleep near my head and subsequently, start batting my head to get me up. even when i tried to go back to sleep, she kept battering at my head so i got up

Sunday, April 23, 2006

the weather in chicago



i had a dream something about being overfull and not going to bed stuffed

i also dreamed that i was interviewing or on the job at ACS as a trainer or cirriculum writer. I was having and interchange with someone about the needs and was to do an assignment

Saturday, April 22, 2006

the weather in chicago



i had to set my alarm clock to get up at 8am. I had an early volunteer orientation for the tribeca film festival. I showed up during the earlier session and met with the volunteer coordinator who looked over my application and seeing I am not working asked if i could stay for the CORE VOLUNTEER ASSIGNMENT ORIENTATION.
Being a core volunteer gets you into a screening room, where the screening volunteers are assigned other duties in the theater but dont watch the movies. THey get vouchers that can be redeemed for movies after their shift. As a Core volunteer, you make sure hte mikes are working, designate reserved seats, intro the movie or moviemaker and conduct the Q&A session. you record any irregularities about the movie, sound, lights, projection, the audience and make sure that the inside of the theater is going as planned on time... after the movie, you make sure that the Q&A starts and get the audience out after the session...
ready the theater for the next one.. the shifts are about 6 hours or two movies.. they are scheduled in 3 hour blocks.
i got to select my days and hours and theater. I choose AMC 3rd ave because of easy access to the theater..
i start on wednesday at 3pm and finish at 1am
i dont come back til sunday 9am-530
and then monday 11-530
tuesday 11-530
wednesday 11-530
saturday 10-5
during that time i will see 12 films
inaddition i will earn vouchers for additional films or events.
i can go to any at night or the tribeca talks.

we were warned about the celebrities and asking for autographs or photos even if they are willing. we get teeshirts and laminants and i basically will see documentaries, international and domestic entries
i want to see the music related ones but they are not on my shift
so i will try to catch them...

i got a great score with Morgan Freeman's film

i plan to post movies and my responses...
and anything else that i will be doing related to the film fest

so after i went to orientation i went to chinatown and got some spinach and saw this familiar looking guy with platinum spiked hair..he was in shorts and in white girly looking sunglasses and was holding a baby...
i went by him and then turned around and tapped his arm and told him that i loved watching him and that he is like a rock star to me.. he asked me if i was gonna watch the finally...on sunday.. i said i will tape it and watch Desparate Housewives..
and told him i wished him luck
the Guy is GUY FIERI from foodnetwork's who will be the next foodnetwork
i actually have been voting for Reggie his competition but i think Guy won..

i then walked around til it became so rainy that i came home to bake tofu and roast chickpeas and do my wash and clean the bathroom.

a productive day it is


i dreamed of social work month related gift packages and getting them for staff at a reduced rate of 30.00. there was definately, a large navel orange in the gift package.

after angst about ordering them or getting them and cost, it seemed that no one was really interested. In the dream, there was an outdoor scene and i among others were crossing a bridge. The bridge was a metal one, like one that i saw in Duluth or one that is common in new england or going to bear mountain. I was on foot and there were others following at a leisurely pace.

Friday, April 21, 2006

the erie canal

The Erie Canal

I've got a mule, and her name is Sal.
Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal.
She's a good old worker and a good old pal,
Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal.
We've hauled some barges in our day,
Filled with lumber, coal and hay,
And we know ev'ry inch of the way
From Albany to Buffalo.

Low bridge! Ev'rybody down!
Low bridge, 'cause we're coming to a town;
And you'll always know your neighbor,
You'll always know your pal,
If you've ever navigated on the Erie Canal.
We'd better get along on our way old gal,
Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal.
Cause you bet your life, I'd never part with Sal,
Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal.
Just one more trip and back we'll go,
Through the ice and sleet and snow,
For ev'ry inch of the way we know
From Albany to Buffalo.

Get up there Sal, and we'll pass the lock,
Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal.
'Cause we gotta make Rome by six o'clock,
Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal.
I've got a gal, she's Big Foot Sal
Best in a galley, I've heard tell.
So drop a tear for Big Foot Sal,
The best damn cook on the Erie Canal.

the weather in chicago


dreaming in color

i slept well til 450 and then woke up and went back to sleep. I dreamed about susan werner. i had an appointment with susan to cut my hair. she was supposed to see me at 1130 and as i was waiting and allowing people to come and go, susan started to take other people. the clock on the wall said 1250 and i told a man who was royalty and had 3 boys with him that i needed to get home. somehow he thought that the day care people were coming to visit my house.. i didnt correct him, i just told him that i had been waiting patiently and i needed to get my hair cut.
i remember talking to susan and she was under that impression that i lost my secondary job not my primary the next scene i had to confront the people on my job.

it seems that i had been serving out my time left or working in another section of the place and i had to attend a meeting where i would come face to face with people i worked with, i knew i was gonna have to hold my head and go into the meeting. i started in the back of the auditorium and i came face to face with workers who had heard of me but didnt know me or what happened. I told them in passing, dont believe what you have heard. I then saw glorianne and it didnt really look like her but as i was looking down on the auditorium, i saw empty seats. i took one next to her but she told me that someone else was sitting there, i had no problem with moving elsewhere and took and empty seat on teh other side of her. I then heard someone coming at me say.. didnt you see me looking you right in the eye... it was stacey...i told her that i saw her and i was looking back at her in the eye.
i then saw laurine smallwood on the dias and said that i would go to see her as i knew her from st josephs and seeing this was a meeting about connections i would say hello to her.

i woke up tired when i got to the point of disturbing dreams...


i had a dream about the erie canal

The New York State Canal System
The New York State Canal System
Unlock the Legend

Come explore some of the oldest water routes in North America and follow in the wake of history.

The legend of the grand Erie Canal flows as strongly today as it did when it was opened in 1825. Four waterways -- the Erie, the Champlain, the Oswego, and the Cayuga-Seneca -- travel through New York's heartland, gliding past lush farmland, famous battlefields, scenic port towns, and thriving wildlife preserves.

The 524-mile New York State Canal System connects with hundreds of miles of lakes and rivers across the Empire State, linking the Great Lakes with the majestic Hudson River and with five waterways in Canada.

Along this historic corridor, visitors of all ages can enjoy more than 2,500 recreational facilities and attractions. Pleasure boaters, motorists, hikers, and bicyclists alike will delight in unlocking the legend of New York's canals.
Clinton's Folly

When Governor DeWitt Clinton first proposed a Canal from the Hudson River to the Great Lakes, detractors dismissed the project as "Clinton's folly." The Erie Canal took seven years to build and was the engineering marvel of its day -- yet it was constructed without the aid of a single professional engineer. It cut through 363 miles of wilderness and featured 18 aqueducts and 83 locks, with a rise of 568 feet from the Hudson River to Lake Erie.

Finished in 1825, it spurred the first great westward migration of American settlers, opened the only trade route west of the Appalachians, and help make New York the preeminent commercial city in the U.S. The Erie Canal was enlarged three times to accommodate heavy traffic, most recently between 1905 and 1918 when the present-day Canal system was configured.

Today the canals use or run parallel to the original waterways. And although the focus has shifted from commerce to pleasure, much of the equipment that allows thousands of recreational boaters to "lock through" the system's 57 locks every year dates back to 1918 and is meticulously maintained, often by second and third generation locktenders.
Where It Is, What To Do

The world has changed since 1825, but along the canals the pace today is just as leisurely, the hospitality just as neighborly for contemporary travelers (as apt to come by car, bicycle, on foot, or by boat) as in the days of mule drawn packet boats and "hoggee" mule drivers.

Nearly every major city in New York can be found along the trade route established by the Erie Canal: it links Buffalo, Rochester, Syracuse, Utica, and Albany with New York City. So canal life beckons from the doorstep of every New York metropolitan center.

And the Canal system threads through five of the state's vacation regions each with a host of unique attractions. Scores of parks, picnic areas, restaurants, inns, museums, and historic sites are strung like small jewels along the canal's banks with even more to explore inland. Visit during summer and enjoy one of many Canal festivals held in dozens of towns.

A trip along the canal is a voyage into history. This rich heritage comes alive in many settings. Experience canal traditions at the Erie Canal Museum in Syracuse, the Canal Town Museum in Canastota, and Erie Canal Village in Rome -- a complete, restored 1840s canal village. Ride in a mule-drawn packet boat near Medina, or visit Lockport to see locks from the 1840s Canal.

Or explore vestiges of abandoned canal sections, preserved stone locks, and grassy towpaths once trodden by mule teams and now restored for hikers and bicyclists in canalside parks. Old lock 52 is adjacent to the New York State Thruway.
Low Bridge -- Everybody down!

To truly appreciate New York's Canals you can't be a landlubber. From May through November, it's on a boat that the canals truly come alive.

Use your own boat or rent a fully equipped canal boat, and chart your own course. Marinas provide a full range of services for transient boaters. You can tie up and explore quiet, 19th-century canal towns, bicycle to nearby wineries for a tour, then dine aboard as the sun gently sets.

Tour boats also operate on all the Canal System's waterways. Cruise for a few hours or a few days, stopping at quaint inns and waterside restaurants along the way.

Vessels up to 300 feet long and 40 feet wide and pleasure craft can meander the length of the system -- but bridges limit overhead clearance to 15 1/2 or 20 feet.

See life from a different perspective. A solitary blue heron resting at the Montezuma National Wildlife Refuge in Seneca Falls. Flocks of geese rising above the Champlain Canal. The Adirondacks boldly outlined against the sky at dusk. These, and thousands of other memories, are waiting for you. What you'll see and remember is up to you.

Thursday, April 20, 2006


not every day is a good day. some days are better than others. Tuesday, i was waiting impatiently for a UPS delivery of cds and rather than one little box, i got two boxes. The second was a larger box from dean and deluca full of goodies from a far off friend. the box was called... HELP IS ON THE WAY... i opened it up and took out the graham crackers, the nuts, the chocolate, the caramel pieces, the mints and the popcorn...all sweet treats..
i went for a long walk and came home and got dressed to go to manhattan. I got to where i was going on time and went to the Dar show... it was a great show..

i left the show feeling a little let down.. i was starting to feel badly or hurt because i didnt get an acknowledgment or response that i lost my job. i thought the people i told would have had a response. I scratched my head and thought maybe they were just too self absorbed to acknowledge it. I headed toward the train and i was getting upset.. I brushed it off and went to the train station. while eating an apple on the platform, my name was called. It was Kristin from teh Chapin list who lives in brooklyn and goes to brooklyn college. Seems she was coming from a play reading..
she will be leaving the city at the end of the school year for a great job in sarasota.

we talked about the theater until our stop....its weird..4 million people in manhattan and i run into people i know all the time..

i went to sleep late and woke up early. I find that i enjoy sleeping unless i start to have startling dreams. I am actually very tired and havent caught up on my resting. there is a underlying anxiety that i have been wrestling iwth this week

yesterday, i decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and go to the seaport. I guess i was anxious about being near ACS and i was craving an ice cream cone. I gave up on the cone and walked up to 14th street. I got tired and bored and unfortunately ate too many chip from whole foods. I seldom eat chips but they had blue corn chip samples. I also ate apples and peaches. maybe i should have had the icecream cone..

i came home and couldnt figure out what i wanted so i ate a bit of everything and too much of everything... i finally went to bed and slept well..

i woke up to the sound of the garbage trucks outside my window and went back to sleep. i was having a positive dream that i cant remember because it was replaced by a dream where
i was a house parent or in charge of 4 teens. 2 of which were my neices. They told me that 2 more were added. I went to meet these new residents...they were blonde and tall and had quilted embroidered coats. They wanted to go to manhattan. I told them that they could WALK to manhattan they were not happy about it. I woke up when the manager of the house, told me that Mark INformed her that i was not authorized to be in the building so i had to register to be allowed in the building...she didnt make it seem like a problem. In the dream, i was covering or not telling that job that i was not at CMS anymore and they found out and it wasnt a problem, i just was no longer authorized to be there so i had to get authorization.
i woke up spooked and i am not really rested..

i have not woke rested in teh last few days. being out of work, is starting to takes its toll...
i started to get bored because the weather is great and i am trying not to spend money or conserving money so i want to be out but not doing things that would cost me money...

and im just tired...

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

the weather in chicago


Capricorn Horoscope for week of April 20, 2006

Capricorn Horoscope for week of April 20, 2006

Verticle Oracle card Capricorn (December 22-January 19)
In his book False Alarm: The Truth About the Epidemic of Fear, Dr. Marc K. Siegel argues that our circumstances are far better than we've been conditioned to believe. In fact, only a fraction of our culture's histrionic pessimism is justified. Alas, the collective delusion that life is totally messed up has seeped into your personal life (as it has into mine and everyone's), tainting even your most intimate moments. But in the coming weeks, it's crucial that you fight to undo the brainwashing. Opportunities will be coming your way that will remain inaccessible if you're too busy indulging in knee-jerk cynicism. So please resist the hypnotic temptation to look for the worst in everything. Be a fiercely buoyant nonconformist. Make this Nietzschean principle your watchword: Optimism tends to engender good health, while pessimism leads to morbidity.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

clouds according to Shtinky Puddin


i dreamed that there were two people leaving the intake department at st josephs. I was coordinating the going away party. I was thinking that the administration was gonna blame me for their leaving. One person was leaving to become a hairdresser and the other to go into retail. I saw the older bleach blonde woman who was leaving and she was getting her hair dyed platinum and i took the flat stick like a tongue depressor and put it in my mouth before i realized it had dye on it. the menu was baked ziti or pasta with a vodka sauce and some sort of cake.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

do what you love, the money will follow writings

(Jottings from Marsha Sinetar, Do What You Love, the Money Will Follow: Discovering Your Right Livelihood, Dell Publishing, 666 Fifth Avenue, NY, 10103, 1987).

Introductory notes: 1. I bought this from Denver's largest bookshop, oddly called 'The Tattered Cover Book Store', November 1990, in the month I was deciding to resign from World Vision, and 'go it alone' to begin John Mark Ministries, serving pastors and ex-pastors. 2. Marsha Sinetar is an organizational psychologist, mediator and writer, who has also written Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics (Paulist Press, 1986). [A superficial reading could conclude she is New Age-ish. I don't think she is, although I would have liked more Bible and less Suzuki (the Zen Suzuki, that is). Thomas Merton is obviously a favourite of hers - and also of mine. But her linking 'integrity' with Merton's notion of 'final integration' limits the potential of that concept, unfortunately. With those reservations, she is worth reading].

# What you can conceive you can achieve: do what you love, the money will follow!

# Work, love, play and devotion are unified into a cohesive activity for the fully developed, self-actualizing personality.

1. Your work ought to fit your personality as shoes fit your feet. Otherwise you're destined for discomfort! Every species in the natural world has a place and function that is specifically suited to its capabilities. The very best way to relate to your work is to choose it. Once you accept your talents as a blueprint for a satisfying vocational life, then you can stop looking to others for approval and direction. Abraham Maslow's 'self-actualizing' personalities ensure that their entire lives become an outward expression of their true inner selves. They have a sense of their own worth and are likely to experiment, to be creative, to ask for what they want and need. Their high self-esteem and subsequent risk-taking/creativity bring them a host of competencies that are indispensable to locating work they want. They also develop the tenacity and optimism which allows them to stick with their choices until the financial rewards come. They are life affirming...

The best-kept secret is that people want to work hard for something they feel is meaningful, something they believe in. Quaker Douglas Steere: 'Work without contemplation is never enough'.

2. People with high self-esteem hear themselves, are able to pay attention to the silent, indwelling push to pursue one career or life-path over another. They know they must respond to trouble, so they face squarely whatever challenges they meet. They are willing to pay the costs of being in charge of their own lives. Sometimes, yes, they will feel spent, fatigued, perhaps even fearful. (Coach Vince Lombardi: 'Fatigue makes cowards of all of us'). Self-esteem is our earliest self-verdict.

3. We must, however, come to know and accept our dark side - our 'shadow' as Jung called it. In terms of the elder brother in the story of the Prodigal Son, the work of our adult lives - if we have not learned it in childhood or adolescence - is to quiet the voice of the 'second son'.

Idea-incubation means resting, being alone, thinking in solitude (so unlearn part of your inherited Puritan work ethic!). If you're creative, you may have to flout the company's open door policy and work in isolation (accepting the criticisms of others). 'Time out' activities are important - like sleeping, watching TV, fishing, listening to music, daydreaming a little...

When we cling to parental 'shoulds' we may cast ourselves out of our own house. Strokes ('units of human recognition') from others are good, but treating yourself well is better. Listen to yourself through your dreams. Gayle Delaney, a noted dream therapist, suggests (Living Your Dreams) that prior to sleep, you could ask yourself for the kind of dream you wish to have ('dream incubation'), though perhaps a bad dream is the thing in us that we fear just wanting our love. Forgiving ourselves dissolves all kinds of unhealthy attitudes - about ourselves and about the other. Jung taught us that the shadowy self of questionable courage or virtue is our dark brother, without whom we could not be whole.

With pen and notebook handy, ask yourself 'What is my life's real purpose?' 'How, specifically, would I have to think, speak and act in order to bring it into being?' 'What activities - daily choices, attitudes and concrete accomplishments - would I do if I lived as if my purpose meant something to me?' 'How would I live, on a day to day basis, if I respected myself, others, my life's purpose?'

4. 'Small steps', day by day, are important. One of the hallmarks of self-defeat is to try to do things in a grand manner and show others how great we are. People with low self-esteem often idealize themselves by seeing themselves achieve in a flashy manner. They bite off too much and set themselves up for failure. So what small daily actions fill me with delight, make me feel energized and optimistic?

5. The unfulfilled prefer comfort over challenge, safety over growth. 'Amniosis', says John Sanford, is an inability to come out of the amniotic fluid and be born, a desire to return to the safe hiding place of the womb. They want to go through life without making any ripples. Indeed, Psychiatrist Robert Lindner (Prescription for Rebellion, NY: Grove Press, 1952) believed that adjustment was a synonym for conformity, and society conditions each human infant away from his or her own uniqueness. Successful rebels transcend these barriers.

6. A 'Script' is a parental/ancestral blueprint for an individual's life. So we are dominated by 'shoulds': men should be active, strong, brave, should not show their vulnerable side... So, says Levinson, people suffering 'burn-out' have * chronic fatigue, * anger at those making demands, * self-criticism for putting up with the demands, * cynicism, negativism and irritability, * a sense of being besieged, and * hair-trigger display of emotions... Males sometimes would rather die in battle than risk being a 'coward'; or would rather die at their desks prematurely than free themselves from their compulsive patterns and pursuits.

Women are also highly influenced by family, media or friends, perhaps achieving self-definition through Super-Mom status. So 84% of private psychotherapy patients, 70% of those using medically-prescribed mood-altering drugs, are women. Women are allowing themselves and their 'conditions' to be largely defined by men. They sometimes assume an inordinate responsibility for their husband's, parent's or children's happiness and comfort.

So: find role models, people already living the way you want to live; write down in your journal the positive things you do each day; in a quiet period, reward yourself with some encouragement at the end of each working day - this reinforces the good things you are learning to do.

7. You will have to give up safety if you want to grow. The confident person knows 'No matter what comes along, I can figure out a solution'. But they must stay away from negative people, and get out of bed (preferably early) in the morning! They will also measure their worth, not by the amount they earn, but by 'inner wealth'. They produce what other people want, but often just enough monetarily to support themselves and their family. So once we have a clear idea of our goals, and of our inner talents, the money will follow. But we mustn't be intimidated by a culture that equates high monetary worth with worth as a person.

8. Resourcefulness is little more than creativity, and innovative types will try something new, even when they have other responsibilities (such as families to support). They are never too 'old' to do what they really want.

Dr William Glasser, a Los Angeles psychiatrist, studied people who had a long history of some sort of disciplined activity like meditation or long-distance running. In Positive Addiction he suggests there are many psychological advantages in the practice of a personal, solitary, regular discipline for at least one hour per day for several months. This helps us believe in ourselves, knowing that we have all the skill, intelligence and wit to meet our every need.

9. 'The majority work to make a living; some work to acquire wealth or fame, while a few work because there is something within them which demands expression... Only a few truly love it' (Edmond Boreaux Szekely). Workaholics are motivated by fear: they are alienated, anxious, aggressive, stressed individuals who use work to stave off buried hostility, maladaptive social attitudes, and feelings of inadequacy. Workaphiles 'have light' in themselves (Schweitzer): they don't crave respect or rank, titles, large offices, special parking places, top floor suites...

10. Here is Thomas Merton's translation of a classical poem by Chinese philosopher Chuang Tzu:

When an archer is shooting for nothing he has all the skills. If he shoots for a brass buckle, he is already nervous... The prize divides him. He cares. He thinks more of winning than of shooting - and the need to win Drains him of power.

Mother Teresa was in Ethiopia, amongst one of its worst droughts and famine. She was caring for the needy, blessing dying children, although people were dying around her at alarming rates. A reporter who happened on the scene asked her if she didn't get discouraged seeing, day after day, so many people die despite her efforts to help them. She briskly replied, 'We are not here to be successful. We are here to be faithful.'

Vocationally integrated persons do not long for love: they have it. They do not yearn for happiness: they have it. They do not strive for completion, finality, satisfaction: they have these... The healthier the personality, the more likely that the individual experiences his or her entire life (including their vocational life) in this abundant manner.

As Erich Fromm once wrote when talking about active listening, to be concentrated in anything makes us more awake, while every unconcentrated, unconscious activity fatigues us, makes us more tired. When we learn to function with full concentration and purposefulness, we are the ones who are energized, activated, alert.

Through these acts and attitudes, we grow to see that our work is more than something by which to 'earn a living'; it is that which helps us build our life.

the weather in chicago



i am starting to have anxiety dreams. i had a dream that i was meeting with a woman who was an executive director of an agency. I was telling her to look into things like calling for the telephone records to see why the T1 line, phone lines and service were changed so often. I was implying that there was improprity and to look into it. I suggested that she keep her own petty cash for the case of emergency. She can have her Executive Assistant keep it. That appeared like a lightbulb or idea on how to manage it, simple but a strategy. she already knew that. In the dream or a related dream, i was still going to work at a place that i no longer worked at. in this dream, i was gonna tell the executive director that i didnt work there but would continue for 2 weeks and if she wanted to keep me, she could... after two weeks, she could let me leave and owe me nothing.

i think a previous dream (*i had many awakenings last night) had me applying for a job or going on an interview and giving hte names of references.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Awake and Sing!

Awake and Sing!
The Belasco Theatre hosts a revival of Clifford Odets' masterpiece.

Visit the 2006 Spring PreviewGenerally considered Clifford Odets' finest play, Awake and Sing! was originally performed by the notable Group Theater on Broadway in 1935. By turns starkly dramatic and vividly comic, it is the story of the Bergers, a lower-middle-class, three-generation Jewish family living in a Bronx apartment during the Depression. Odets, who described his play as “a struggle for life amid petty conditions,” captures the frenetic, pressured existence in this crowded dwelling with robust authenticity.

The Berger family members and their boarder, Moe Axelrod, all long for a better world for themselves. True to life in his depiction of the extreme economic hardships confronted by working-class immigrant families during the Depression, Odets documents their travails and their hopes, concluding Awake and Sing! on an optimistic if ambiguous note.

Awake and Sing! recalls that this country has been perceived as a source of opportunity for immigrants who re-root themselves in its cities and towns with an enduring belief in the American dream. Odets' characters are, in essence, the parents, grandparents, and children who sought refuge and forged new, sometimes better lives here. Such families—from Korea or Mexico or Pakistan or from just about anywhere around the globe—continue to make their way here every day.

saturday like no other saturday

i decided to take back a sweatshirt that i bought at macys. the zipper didnt work and i headed to manhattan. i found myself delayed and distracted by many things before i finally got out of the house... the mailman, an email, the took much longer than i expected but i had no timeframe so .... i headed to the train and as i was helping a woman with directions, Judee Honig, a friend of mine from 15 years ago came down the stairs. I know she was embarrassed because she was over 100lbs more than i the last time i saw her. closer to 150. Judee had done the dieting program at Durham and had run a travel agency near the plaza. She and i dieted and walked together. I lost touch with her when she closed her shop and moved to NC to rejoin the program. Its been many years and i had not run into her. i know by the awkward moments that she was uncomfortable. after a few, that passed and we talked liked nothing or no time passed. SHe mentioned her weight because she was unhappy in NC. and i told her that i gained and lost 40 lbs when i stopped smoking. Judee is the type to make her world fit her. she doesnt drive on highways or go out at night. she wouldnt ride the elevator at her therapists office so she gets to call him for a half hour session. Judee rearranges her world.
she was going to CPW and i was going to 34th so i got off. i told her to call. she asked if i would walk with her. I said i would. she is the person who gave me my cat so i told her whoopi was still around and still a cherished little girl.

when i got off the train, a young woman let me go ahead and i started to tell her the story. her small daughter handed me a disposible camera and i asked her if she wanted me to take her picture so i did. we both were laughing. the young woman kept telling me that i was blessed. she said that she could see it around me and the shine that i give off.. she kept saying, you are blessed, you are blessed and i guess i felt blessed in the moment...

i went to return my clothes and headed downtown. I walked down 6th ave til i got to Broadway... i walked over 18th street to broadway and over to get some soycheese. I went down broadway and found my first street fair of the summer. THe weather was like summer and all the street fair regulars were out. I then walked down to prince and took the train home.

Neil a kid in my building was learning to ride his bike. his mom was helping him so i went in and got my bike and put air in the tires and rode around. I promised neil if he learned to ride and showed me, i would give him my NEMO bike horn. By the time i came home, he was riding up the block on his own... i took off the horn and gave it to him

Jean, the crazy cleaning woman in my building saw me and told me that she knows i gave her daugher, Matzah...she asked if i had anymore. I had an extra box so i told her i would give it to her. I have given out 6 boxes of matzah this passover. I have two left. I have no opened my box and i found 3 boxes unsealed near my car. they were in the wrapper and someone opened and one box. Three were untouched and i took them. it was that matzah i gave barbara and now jean... she doesnt need to know, i gave her found matzah...

i found 7 more cents today. I have found 57cents in one day and as little as one penny.. every day i found some money....


i went to bed about 1:30am which is late for me and i woke up and went back to sleep til about 10am. I dreamed that i was driving a van and pulled up at this outdoor place. I saw some of the Preventive workers from the PPRS side of the CMS child welfare programs. they approached me and I wanted to get to NINA. I saw nina in my dream and i was in a place that looked like an elementary school. she and i were alone in a room and she said that there was no basis to the reason why they reorganized me. I thanked her for her reassurance and support. I provided her with some insight that acted like a warning for herself. in my dream, they put her in my job and we discussed the job. In the dream i saw Sr Kelly from St Joseph and wanted to avoid seeing Sr Rita. I was embarrassed to see Sr Rita Meaney for how she would view me. I wanted to get out of there because my mission was completed. She saw me and came over and i said hello Sr Rita. she said she would see me later.
I went to the van and saw Roni Fuchs in the van with her son, eric eating cheetos or those fried onion rings. I was taken back that she was in the passenger side of the van.
i realized in the dream that i returned to work less than 6 months ago and stacey was my new boss and i didnt pass her appraisal period. Like a new worker, you get six months, i didnt pass her probation. the dream also showed me that the playing field was not even because i has been there for 5 years and had history and patterns and it was not a new job, just a new boss....and i didnt meet her needs or expectations and i really didnt know what they were....

the weather in chicago


april showers

the Nature show

Awake and sing, ye that dwell in dust: for thy dew is as the dew of herbs, and the earth shall cast out the dead.

i went into manhattan today because i had tickets to see clifford odets "awake and sing"
before i went, i decided to go to Macys to see the flower show. I took the 1/2 hour tour and learned more about the display and flowers than i would have known. I also went to Liz Claibourne and bought only stuff off the 75% rack and i had 15% off.. so i stayed within my budget. I walked up to St Patricks cathedral to light a candle or two but silly me.... it was the station of the cross time... how would this JEW know.. so there were no candles to light, so i meditated at the saints that i wanted to call upon... St Jude and St BRigid and Elizabeth Stanton
Elizabeth cady Stanton
i always wondered why they gave her a statue at st patricks cathedral but they i cherished that

i saw and caught my breath and then walked through Rockerfeller center again and over to the Marquis Marriott for a soda and to have an apple. I met a woman who had no teeth who comes to NY weekly with her son to see theater. He used to come with his sister who died last year at age 40. i talked with this mom about the natural order of things and how parents arent supposed to bury children and how her son was quietly rearranged by his sisters death. they collected autographs of celebrities and he inherited his sister's collection. it was something that they did together and he feels his sisters loss.

waiting for the doors of the theater to open, i saw the algonquin hotel ahead of me, so i went and saw the historical markers and went in to find the famous round table-
for all the years i have lived in NY, i have never seen the algonguin or had the time to go in. now i took the time and saw the place where the NEW Yorker writers, alan campbell, dorothy parter ate and talked and had their famous interchanges.

i then went on to the theater. odets play deserves its own blog entry....
i found this play hard and stunning. i understand its role among the great american family based plays. Glass Menagerie, Little Foxes and Awake and sing. all family plays where the characters are crippled by a central character. where the central character plays out their unfulfilled wishes on the family members leaving them dysfucntional, some get out and some stay... they are not necessarily defeated but are damaged just the same.

this performance has not be reviewed yet as it is in previews and its a good one..

From the NYTIMES...
Well-Executed Revival!, April 6, 2006
Reviewer: trinityrm303
This show was much better than I expected it to be. It's well-executed, nicely blocked, briskly paced (despite three intermissions), and beautifully designed. The set is positively breathtaking. I was blown away by the very stealthy revelations of space and what a bold impression the play made on me as a result of the design. The performances are all good but none are particularly stellar. Mark Ruffalo comes the closest as Moe Axelrod but he was difficult to hear as was most of the actors' dialogue. All in all, I feel that fans of Odets will not be disappointed. If you're unfamiliar with Odets' work and/or not a Ruffalo enthusiast, you probably will not find this revival very compelling.

. . . .
What's wrong with Ben Gazarra?, April 3, 2006
Reviewer: alicew96
Saw "Awake and Sing!" at the Belasco the other night and the audience on the Mezzanine could be heard whispering,"What's wrong with Ben Gazarra?" Whatever was keeping his voice on a two tone note brought the show to its knees. The rest of the lively cast could not overcome his half dead voice as the grandfather, a pivotal character in the plot. Has he had a stroke? Hope they replace him by Opening Night or the audience will be "Dozing and Snoring!"

O'Neill with a leftist toutch, April 14, 2006
Reviewer: emilysr2
This is an extrodinary revival of Odetts' finest work. Reminds one of Eugene O'Neill with a leftist political overtone. A depression era family slowly losing their compassion and humanity under the pressures of poverty disintegrates until.... Fine acting, excellent stage sets and sensitive direction bring this 1930s masterpiece to life.

Thursday, April 13, 2006


dealing with fear

i realized that i have been struggling with the topic of fear. I was afraid of running into this woman adrienne who walked into weightwatchers a few weeks ago. I was sitting at the friday night meeting and she walked in and i welcomed her and she was surprised to see "her director". i stayed and helped her with the meeting and last friday i was afraid i would see her again, now that i am not working at CMS.
i went to weight watchers tonight and i was sitting at my regular meeting on thursday. the one thursday all semester that i could attend because i am on school break and didnt have a sedar to go to. toward the end of the meeting, in walked Adrienne. After the meeting, i got up and said hello to her and told her i expected to see her on friday.
she said she didnt come for two weeks and didnt know she had to pay for those meeting.her sister could come tonight so she came. i was introduced to her sister. I explained that thursday is my regular meeting and seeing i was teaching on thursdays i come on friday...but after may 24th, ill be at WW on thursday.

i realized that i have not been afraid of being out of work, yet. I have hope that if i choose a job that meets my passion, money will come. I was afaid of running into adrienne because i was embarrassed, so i was relieved when she didnt show up on friday but i was not off center when i saw her tonight. i greeted her with my head held high, i let her know when i would be at WW so she could avoid me if she wanted to and to let her know/see i was living my life before CMS

i realized that in the past i was defined by my work, i am not my work... i have integrated being a social worker into my life, the way i see the world or see movies or art and how i read the paper. My life is more than what i do... i am me and have a life outside of work. I need work for socialization, fulfillment, money, reward but i dont need a job for life.. i did it to survive because i need an income but not for life...

He thinks he'll can her... song Parody...

She made his numbers, she kept them clean
She paased the audits; he kept her mean
When she was twenty-one she earned her first degree
She said “it’ll be 9 years from the loans I will be free”
She does the budget, she sees they get their pay
for all the clients, she strives all day
When she was twenty-four, she earned her second degree
And she started to work with children and their family
Everything runs right on time, years of practice, in due time
Spit and polish. Be on time .He thinks he'll can her
Everything is so benign, just as long as you stay in line
GAWD forbid you have a mind. He thinks he'll can her
She packed her office, she packed her things
Sealed her boxes, with 10 rings
When she was forty-six, he met her at their door
he said I'm sorry, you don't work here you anymore
Everything runs right on time, years of practice in due time
Spit and polish. Be on time. She'll live without him
Everything is so benign, all the planets will align
GAWD forbid you have a mind. She'll live without him
For fifteen years she had a job at social service pay
so she will follow her heart, and a new job she will start
Everything in its own time, all the planets will align
destiny is on her side. She’ll earn a new way
Everything is so benign, all the planets will align.
everything in its own time . She’ll learn a new way.

the weather in chicago


Wednesday, April 12, 2006

CAPRICORN week of april 12

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22�Jan. 19): In the Bible's Book of Exodus, 34:14, God says His name is "Jealous." Literally. Why isn't this fact more widely discussed by people who care about religion? In his book 50 Things You're Not Supposed to Know, Russ Kick says it's because America's Pledge of Allegiance would have to be altered to say, "one nation, under Jealous," which would lead to a redesign of U.S. currency, in which the motto "In God We Trust" becomes "In Jealous We Trust." Your assignment, Capricorn, is to withdraw your support for any deity that calls himself or herself Jealous�even as you also renounce any impulse in you that indulges in jealousy. It's time to drive home to yourself how insane it is to compare your life to anyone else's. You're perfect the way you are.

the weather in chicago


Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Child welfare doesnt show up except to investigate a report of suspected abuse or neglect... it dont matter who you are???? they dont show up randomly

Child welfare, deputy visit Spears' home

Tuesday, April 11, 2006; Posted: 7:51 p.m. EDT (23:51 GMT)

MALIBU, California (AP) -- Child welfare officials and a sheriff's deputy visited the home of Britney Spears but declined to say Tuesday whether they were investigating the pop princess.

Spears and her husband, Kevin Federline, are the parents of an infant son, Sean Preston.

The Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services and the Lost Hills sheriff's station declined to give details of Saturday afternoon's visit.

"It's a very standard, routine patrol request," Lt. Debra Glaskides said Tuesday. "We just roll out with them. We stood by, we took no action, no report or anything."

The Sheriff's Department said it was a DCFS matter and couldn't release any information. Glaskides said there may not even be a DCFS investigation, noting it may have been only a welfare check.

Phone and e-mail messages left for Spears' New York publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, weren't immediately returned.

In February, DCFS visited Spears' home after publication of photographs showing the 24-year-old singer driving with then 4-month-old Sean Preston in her lap, rather than in a car seat as required by law.

Spears later apologized, saying she did it because of a "horrifying, frightful encounter with the paparazzi."

DCFS director Louise Grasmehr didn't return a phone message left Tuesday at her Los Angeles office. The department routinely refuses to discuss cases, citing confidentiality laws.

Copyright 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

on being out of work part 1

i stumbled on writings of Dyer. I was directed to his work by an usher at Lincoln Center that i was chatting with. I dont really believe there are accidents for the sake of accidents.

i find myself out of a toxic work situation and in perfect harmony with me. I have regained energy, stop to smell the flowers that everyone in busy manhattan pass by. i stop to comment to mothers on their beautiful children and smile at strangers.
i know that the universe will provide for me the job that is right to be next and whenever i have done what i loved the money has truly followed.
10 years ago, i was defined by my job, feared that i would lose something other than income if i lost my job. i would lose me.
i have found that i lost ONE source of income but i have found me.
its amazing what happens when you are not afraid...

from Maryam Webster

Wayne Dyer on "Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling"

I've been reading because an usher at Lincoln Center directed me to Wayne Dyer's "Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling". I was telling her stories from work about people impression of their calling and how they play them out and while she was seating people for the next performance of Bernarda Alba she directed me to Dyer.

Dyer said a wonderful thing that like "There is no failure, there is only feedback"
(so that is where weight watchers stole it)
lets us off the guilt-hook for not doing what we know we can or would want to. He said and I paraphrase: "Forget motivation to get to a goal, motivation is hard. Go for inspiration and it will take you where you need to be, every time. Get seized by a powerful, juicy idea that you absolutely must follow. Follow it and you will end up where you need to be."

Whatever it is you say that you want, cherish it and let the want to. Allow yourself to be irresistably attracted to the one thing that you cannot resist and give yourself completely to it. It may be that you are pulled irresistably to write, to paint, to dream, to make the dreams of others come may be something else. When you do that, you are inspired, "in-spirit". Dyer says that when we do this we are the closest to Source that we can possibly be.

He quotes the Persian poet Jalalud'din Rumi in saying:

"The morning breeze has secrets to tell you
Do not go back to sleep"

Do you find yourself waking in the middle of the night for no reason? Is it at relatively the same time every morning? No matter when I go to bed, I have what I call a "five hour wall" that I hit and will waken, sometimes with no agenda, sometimes with a full bladder, needing the bathroom. Dyer says when we waken like this, to put your feet on the floor and don't go back to sleep but allow yourself to experience the morning breeze...or at least that quiet, fully-awakened state of mind that is closest to the Source. Get your biological needs taken care of and invite yourself to sit quietly and be open. Things will come to you in this time that you might never expect or have access to any other time of day.

When I waken like this I am fully awake, and usually talking to myself, itching to get on the computer and having completed another project, writing or plan in my sleep. I notice as Dyer says, that when I go back to sleep I have difficulty remembering these beautiful poems and fully-fleshed plans when I wake up later in the day. Good case for keeping a notebook or digital recorder next to your bed.

Dyer also quotes the great Indian sage Patanjali on the subject of inspiration:

When you are inspired by some great purpose,
some extraordinary project,
all of your thoughts break their bonds
Your mind transcends limitations.
Your consciousness expands in every direction.
And you find yourself in a new,
great and wonderful world.
Dormant forces, faculties and talents come alive
and you discover yourself to be a greater person
by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.

Go for what juices you, even though right now you can't see how it will pay the bills or possibly work with the living situation you have or, or, or, or...

Address these thoughts, beliefs and blockages to living fully expressed and in flow with the universe with your favorite energy therapy. These thoughts and beliefs bind us and keep us from fully expressing as Source. As you lose this bondage, those dormant forces, faculties and talents Patanjali speaks of will pop out of the woodwork with an energy and swiftness and appropriateness that will astonish and delight you.

And you will discover yourself to be a greater person that you ever dreamed you could be, honest and for true.

Dr wayne dyer

Seven Secrets of a Joyful Life. Wayne Dyer’s Feel Good Guide
Excerpt from Family Circle Magazine by Glenn Paskin

You need to take time to get quiet, to go within.

How do we create the lives we dream of? To many, the way to prosperity and emotional contentment is dogged determination and sheer resolve, which is the approach prized by super-achievers driven by discipline and hard work. The logic? The more single-minded we become, the greater chance we have of success.

Not true! Psychologist Wayne Dyer, Ph.D., author of 22 self-empowerment books, describes a new approach to fulfillment in his latest book, also a PBS TV special, titled The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-create Your World Your Way (Hay House).

Rather than trying to control the world around us, Dyer believes we can allow our natural abilities and positive traits to emerge by tapping into what he calls the Power of Intention: the capacity for joy, creativity and kindness built into each of us.

"Intention is not something you do," says Dyer, "but rather a force that exists in the universe as an invisible field of energy - a power that can carry us."

Where is this field? "Where is it not?" exclaims the 63-year-old, speaking from his home in Maui. "A caterpillar, a tiny acorn, an apple blossom all have intention built into them. That caterpillar becomes a butterfly, the acorn a giant oak tree, the apple blossom an apple. Intention doesn't err. The acorn never turns into a pumpkin! Every aspect of nature has intention built in.

In my body, intention grows my fingernails, it beats my heart, it digests my good, it writes my books - and it does this for everyone and everything in the universe."

Dyer says that he was inspired to write his new book the day he realized that "accessing the power of intention relieved me of so much of the seemingly impossible work of striving to fulfill desires by sheer force of will."

Since that defining moment, Dyer, always an optimist, has welcomed only positive intention into his life: "When you call my cell phone, you'll hear this message: 'This is Wayne Dyer, and I want to feel good! If your message is intended to do anything other than that, then you've got the wrong number.'"

We asked Dyer to share some concrete ways to tap into "the power of intention" in order to produce more inner joy and harmonious relationships.

FC: What is intention?

Dyer: It's the difference between motivation and inspiration. Motivation is when you get hold of an idea and don't let go of it until you make it a reality. Inspiration is the reverse - when an idea gets hold of you and you feel compelled to let that impulse or energy carry you along. You get to a point where you realize that you're no longer in charge, that there's a driving force inside you that can't be stopped. Look at the great athletes, musician, artists, and writers. They all tap into a source.

FC: What is that source?

Dyer: Some call that source God or soul or spirit or consciousness.

FC: What if you are not religious?

Dyer: It has nothing to do with religion. I'm talking about a source of energy that lives within each of us.

FC: Tell us about what you call the Seven Faces of Intention: creativity, kindness, love, beauty, expansion, abundance, and receptivity.

Dyer: All seven are expressions of what I imagine that source to look like. First, the very fact that we exist is proof to me that the nature of that source is creative at its core. And there isn't a person reading this who does not have a gnawing sense inside that there's something they're here to do, something creative.

I always say: Don't die with your music still inside you. Listen to your intuitive inner voice and find what passion stirs your soul. When you do this, you're also tapping into another face of intention: love. If you're doing what you love and loving what you do - whatever it is - you make a living at it!

FC: But fear stops people.

Dyer: Yes, it does. In fact, Marianne Williamson has written that there are really only two primary emotions in the universe, love and fear. So anytime you're feeling anxious, insecure, worried, angry or resentful, you've left love and entered fear.

FC: How can we counteract that?

Dyer: The most profound and important thing a person can do to erase fear and access the power of intention is repeating these five key words: I want to feel good! This is the same thing as saying, I want to be in harmony with the source of well-being.

FC: Repeating those words will make a difference?

Dyer: It's been proven that the thoughts we choose have everything to do with our emotions. I can tell you that a commitment to feeling good can take away a stomach ache, fear, depression, sadness, anxiety - you name it. Any stress signal is a way of alerting you to say the five magic words: I want to feel good. This is your intention to be tranquil and stress free - and it's a way of connecting to spirit.

FC: Do you know anyone who has mastered this?

Dyer: Just watch babies. They're in a constant state of love. How could they possibly be so joyful? Because they're in harmony with the source. They have no resistance to being joyful - unlike adults. You didn't come forth into this world to suffer, to be anxious, fearful or depressed. Remember, your thoughts, not your world, cause you stress. And you can change your thoughts.

FC: In fact, you say that one of the fastest ways to transform fear into love and tap into the source is through another face of intention - kindness.

Dyer: Absolutely true. Choosing to be kind is also a choice to make the Power of Intention active in your live. The beneficial effects of kindness on the immune system and the increased production of serotonin have been proven. Conversely, unkindness weakens the body and puts us into a state of dissonance. So extend acts of kindness; ask for nothing in return.

FC: Is this realistic for non-saints?

Dyer: [Laughter] We're all saints! That's the whole point. We all have built into us this intention, the capacities for kindness and creativity and beauty. It's a matter of perspective. As Einstein said, "The single most important decision any of us will ever make is whether or not to believe that the universe is friendly." It's your choice.

FC: But it's a pretty violent, messy planet, isn't it?

Dyer: It is. But for every act of violence and messiness there are a million acts of kindness and goodness. It just depends where you look. And when I look around at virtually anyone or anything on the planet, I can see another face of intention - beauty.

FC: In an effort to practice kindness, you recommend viewing every human encounter as a "holy relationship," the ability to celebrate and honor others, no matter who. But what about when you encounter people who are irritating, rude or even destructive?

Dyer: Generally, I try to stop myself from getting frustrated. I'm not a hundred percent successful, but I'm a thousand times better than I used to be. Anyone who's angry, nasty or rude is really offering a plea to be loved. I play a game with myself, trying to convert them from what I call low-energy emotions that drain us - frustration, irritation, anger and impatience - into high-energy emotions that sustain us - love, caring, kindness.

FC: How do you do it?

Dyer: By asking that surly waiter or harried airline clerk something about themselves or by expressing empathy, "Where are you from? It must be tough standing on your feet for eight hours." Anything to let a person know that, in that moment, I'm thinking more about them than about myself. And you know what happens? Instantly you see a smile.

FC: So paired with kindness would be another face of intention, what you call receptivity. No one and no thing is rejected?

Dyer: Exactly. Whenever you have a thought that excludes or judges anyone else, you aren't defining them. You're defining yourself as someone who needs to judge others.

FC: But don't we all judge one another?

Dyer: Yes, we do. But doing that less is one of those things we want to practice. Anytime I judge another harshly, I always find myself feeling worse.

FC: So when you're feeling offended by others...

Dyer: Remember this rule: Stop taking yourself so seriously! Get your ego out of the way and connect back to kindness - that from which you came.

FC: In your book, you write that controlling ego is intention's enemy.

Dyer: Ego is the part of us that believes: I am what I have, I am what I do. I am what others think of me. All this is just an illusion. The problem? If you are what you do, then who are you when you don't do it any longer? If you are what you have - then when you no longer have it, you no longer have any value!

The truth is that we are all spiritual beings. And when you see yourself as a piece of God, then you see yourself as connected to everything and everyone.

FC: In that heightened state, you write that we're more likely to tap into the faces of expansion and abundance.

Dyer: Absolutely. We need to connect with the image of an expanding source - one which never becomes stagnant or gets tired of growing and improving. And when we see there are no limits to our potential, we can tap into abundance knowing there's more than enough.

FC: So often, it seems people don't believe there's enough to go around, so they pray for what's missing in their lives. Is that helpful?

Dyer: Not at all. The biggest mistake we make is asking the source to understand scarcity - something that is not! People pray: "Please give me more..." Or, "Please heal me." If you do this, you'll only attract more scarcity into your life. You can't think about what's missing in your life, what you don't like, or what "they" want for you.

FC: What's the difference between will and intent?

Dyer: Will is the idea that I'm going to make this thing happen. Intent is inspiration - allowing it to take place. I don't say that will is bad. But it's the work of the ego - believing that we are controlling everything - rather than surrendering to the source of energy that is greater that any of us. In my children's bedroom, I framed this message: "Good morning. This is God. I will be handling all of your problems today. I will not need your help, so have a miraculous day!"

FC: But if you let God handle everything, you'd never bother to go to work, pay your bills or do your laundry.

Dyer: That's not true. God goes to work with you and does the laundry with you too. There's no place that God is not.

FC: But you can't just wake up in the morning and do nothing.

Dyer: It's not about doing nothing. In the recovery movement, they call what I'm talking about letting go and letting God. (If you're uncomfortable with the word God, just add an o and make it Good. The two words are interchangeable.) It just means allowing this divine source of kindness, beauty and creativity to be the dominant force in your life - whatever you're doing. I truly believe that God writes all the books and builds all the bridges. Sure, I sit down for six or seven hours a day with my pen and pads - but the message moves though me and I just allow.

FC: And when we're able to align ourselves with the power of intention, how will our lives change?

Dyer: I think you'll experience calmness where there used to be anxiety. You'll leave others feeling energized, so people will want to be around you. You'll start seeing miracles showing up - the right person, unanticipated abundance. You'll feel like you're collaborating with the universe instead of it working against you.

FC: Finally, you write that, "Your job is not to say how - it's to say yes!" What do you mean?

Dyer: I mean that the answer to how is yes! When you say yes to life, you attract divine guidance. When you're inspired, you're collaborating with fate. Everything starts working for you.

FC: You say that yes is the breath of creation.

Dyer: [Laughter] All you have to do is watch a flower beginning to bloom. That is the breath of yes!

Eight ways to tap into the power of intention and feel great every day

Make meditation a regular practice in your life. You need to take time to get quiet, to go within, and from this silence make conscious contact with the source of intention. You're already connected to everything that you perceive as missing from your life; go with a realign.

Become conscious of the foods you eat. Foods high in alkalinity such as fruits, vegetables, nuts, soy, nonyeast breads and virgin olive oil are high-energy foods and will strengthen you, while highly acidic foods such as flour-based cereals, meats, dairy and sugars lower energy and will weaken you.

Retreat from low-energy substance. Alcohol, cigarettes, caffeine, sugar and virtually all artificial drugs, legal or otherwise, lower your body's energy level and weaken you.

Become aware of the energy level of the music you listen to. Some rap music - filled with profanity and messages about killing, for example - is an energy drain, while music that has a more soothing impact on the soul has been proven to be beneficial.

Become aware of the energy levels of your home environment. Make your home a nurturing, cheerful and peaceful environment.

Reduce your exposure to low-energy commercial television. Children see 12,000 simulated murders on TV before their 14th birthday! Television news pus a heavy emphasis on the bad and the ugly, leaving out the good.

Enhance your energy field with photographs. Every photograph contains energy. Carry and display photos taken in moments of happiness, love and receptivity.

Become conscious of the energy levels of your acquaintances, friends and extended family. Choose to be in close proximity to those who are empowering, who see the greatness in you, who feel connected to spirit.


i had a dream about my ex-friend Vicky. I found myself working at this place where there were breeches of confidentiality and other ethical breeches. i looked over and there was vicky. I thought that she was once the Director of Social Services for Housingworks and i wondered what happened.

i also dreamed that i was in a hotel room. there were lots of ajoining rooms that formed a maze. people who had been moving out kept leaving stuff behind. I was picking up the pieces. I saw drawers full of cheeses, different type of cheeses. I saw my brother who was stocking up on different types of butters. I asked why he needed so much better. he said it was on sale. i explained to him that by the time he used it, it would go bad but he had these Costco size tubs of butter. I then saw teh cheese and said i would sort it out and go through it. I was still picking up stranded or lost items and then i pulled a sweatshirt out of the bed, where i was sleeping and i saw it was full of bedbugs. I went to report it, someone mentioned a refund for the room and someone had changed the sheets and pillowcases, so there was no evidence of the bedbugs. I saw the bugs all over the bed and to prove it lifted up my shirt in the mirror to see the marks or welts on my body.

in reality, my cat was crawling up my body and her nails were pinching like the feeling in the dream

what sort of soul are you

You Are a Seeker Soul

You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges.

You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions.

Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist.

Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!).

Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others.

And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you.

You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically.

Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas.

Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

Monday, April 10, 2006

what am i gonna do

well, i have had a lot of thoughts and ideas

1. i want to go to museums and lectures and book readings that are free and i dont usually get to go to. Free nights at the museums are generally on thursday and friday. so it means i cant go while i am in school-til late may

2. i am thinking about a parenting skills book with practical advise

3. i could become a life coach to earn extra money

4. i could organize or load someone's IPOD for $$$( believe it or not people pay for this stuff in NYC)

5. i could become a life coach on parenting skills.

6. i could keep looking for training job....

7. i will take advantage of computer training programs or any other skill development programs that i can take advantage of, not so much for employment but to keep busy and self development

8. i will walk the botanical gardens and go in before noon for on free mornings.

9. i will go to free saturday at the brooklyn museum

10. i will try to volunteer some time after FUV and the TRibeca film fest is over


my dreams are scattered and i wake occasionally at night. i cant remember them all but as i do..i will continue to record them.

the dream
i remember dreaming that my car door was hit by another car. my passenger side door was dented but in the dream , i knew insurance would cover the damage.

story collector

i have been defining myself as a story collector for the past few years. THere are stories all around, you just have to listen and collect them.

Meeting Patrick O'Donnell

i went to the Patrick O'donnell signing for his new book Art. I showed up soaking wet and asked the person who wanted 4 books signed if i could say hello to mr Odonnell. I stepped up to the table, where he was signing ART after ART after ART and i introduced myself and told him that i travelled especially to tell him HOW much i appreciated what he did and how much i enjoyed his characters and reading his strip. I them told him the story of naming my cat and asked him if he was familiar with or rescue efforts to save katrina Animals(a topic in his strip)i felt myself babbling and couldnt really stop it... I started to tell him a story about my cat drinking her water out of a bowl in the bathtub..his drinks water from the faucet and i told him i see only her ears like Schnelly, a character...sensing something... he asked me if i had a book he could sign... i said no... he asked if i had something i wanted signed.. Stalker turf.. i feared so i said, i am sure i had something in my backpack...he asked if i wanted a PETA bookmark signed.. i said okay...
he found a blank postit and signed it and drew me a MOOCH... My own Mooch cartoon signed by Patrick ODonnell on a post it...
i am a stalker...

today, i walked up to the park on this magnificent monday in april and stopped at the Terrace cafe to use the bathroom. I saw a woman sitting drinking coffee and reading a book while she cut and ate the biggest black and white cookie.. as i came out of the bathroom, i asked her if she needed help with the book. It was an early intervention book on Austism and PPD. she told me her grandson recently has been diagnosed with autism NOS and as her daughter was in denial and not willing to do anything or even read the book, she would. I tried to encourage her to get a second opinion as autism is a catch all phrase that is being over diagnosed these days and to get to NYU or Columbia Presbytarian for a second opinion. She is using this orthodox agency named Challenge. (there are lots of agengies privately owned in early intervention where they are owned by orthodox jews and making a ton of $$ from medicaid.- i didnt tell her that) this agency will be closed for 10 days and her grandson is stuck with out services. I recommended that she contact a PPRS agency and the closest was the Center for Family Life in sunset park because he was gonna need a case manager and the last thing her daughter needs is a neglect case. This is a free service

I then saw the woman who volunteers on the community garden at the intersection of Caton Ave and Coney Island Ave. she was putting up fencing and i stopped to help her or rather to talk to her. Her name is Barbara Rosen and is also a streetsinger and cat rescue expert

Since 1973, The Renaissance Street Singers of New York, directed by John Hetland, have sung 15th- and 16th-century music a cappella on the sidewalks and in the public spaces of New York City. The motivation is love for the music and the wish to share it with others. Concerts are two or three Sundays a month, usually from 2 to 4 pm, always free.

The current repertoire is polyphonic motets, hymns, magnificats, Psalms, mass sections and other sacred music by Guillaume Dufay, Johannes Ockeghem, Josquin Desprez, Ludwig Senfl, Giovanni Pierluigi da Palestrina, William Byrd, Tomas Luis de Victoria, Manuel Cardoso and their contemporaries.

she explained to me that she attended HIgh school of Arts and was asked by a music student to audition for the choir during her 4th period lunch and doesnt know why she did as an art student but her friend was scared to audition alone so she went and loved music. she majored in music in college but nightmares made her give it up and go back to Art. she taught in the new york school system for over 20 years
since joining the street singers, she has returned to music and understands what she learned in college and got a computer and writes her own rounds and ancient music.

she asked me if i wanted to be a deputy as a cat rescue..she has a vet who she pays to spay and neuter stray cats and she has traps and all i would need to do is get the trap and get the animal and bring it to her vet and pick it up and return it to the street spayed... i am not sure i am ready to be a deputy...i will keep her card

we talked about me and about her and both of us have Epstein Barr. she and i talked about menopause. I am 46 and she is 61. we worked on the fence and she told me HOW she got involved in teh community gardens and teh dilemnas from the parks department and how she stays on course to nurse her garden. after we were done, she thanked me for keeping her company and as i had no real place to go, she offered to show me the space. I asked for a tour and she gave me a tour and pointed out the plants and fruit trees and strawberrys. I told her the story of how i was out of work and i walk by and i would like to continue to help her. she keep no real hours, just works as she finds the time between other things. I said i would look for her as a streetsinger and i would continue to walk and if i saw her out gardening, i would love to help her...

i then came home and showered and went out of asparagas and came back and found a woman in my building bored so she started to share with me her experiences in Aushwitz. she was in the warsaw ghetto for a year, and concentration camps for 2. she started to tell me stories... she lost her parents and 2 sibs to the crematorium and had her cousins and two women who she worked the fields with . She told me about the potato and carrot mash, the germans made and how they used bacon to season it. she ate it..
this started as we talked about steamed veggies and carrots and cabbage and potatoes.
she said little things like that flood the memories of the camps. Her cousin had tatoo numbers, she had numbers sown on her dress and still has a letter from switzerland with her numbers. she said the isolation stated way before she was deported to the camps... she wore a gold star and was in the ghetto way before.
she sang me a child's song in yiddish and like a nursery rhyme that had teh word pear in it...and i had just bought pears so i gave her one..

this is the woman i gave 4 boxes of matzoh to this week. Her daughter tells her i am smart and read alot... i dont read as much as i used to.. maybe ill start reading in the park..

today, i collected stories of all sorts.. makes me want to get to more stories tomorrow...