What I Want For Christmas
by Nicole Blackman
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What I want for Christmas:
I want a new religion, one that doesn't make me feel bad all the time
I want to talk to my Grandfather in heaven and tell him I love him
I want to change your mind
I want the music industry to quit marketing to me
I want a second chance
I want that notebook back that I lost two years ago - there was some good
stuff in there
I want to know where all my socks went
I want to smack a couple of ignorant people around
I want everyone to have a place to sleep and someone who loves them
I want you to know I'm serious
I want to test drive a couple of kids to see if I really want to have
children later
I want the water to boil faster when I'm really hungry
I want to go home
I want the tomatoes to taste year-round like they do in the summer
I want everyone to have their own record label, typeface and fanzine
I want to do whatever you want to do
I want that guy on the internet to quit bugging me
I want to leave all my friends something really special in my will
I want you to stop calling me
I want waitresses to quit looking at me funny when I order tea instead of
coffee
I want bands like Pearl Jam, Counting Crows and REM to stop being so earnest
I want to be an excentric old lady so I can get away with YELLING ALL THE
TIME
I want an answer
I want to fly in real life just once like I fly in my dreams
I want to have my own TV show and do all the commercials, too
I want you to come over
I want Laurie Anderson to stop...talking... like... that
I want Pamela Anderson to let me in on the joke
I want to rock and roll all night and party every day
I want 2 or 3 people to get what they deserve
I want Sony to give it up with the minidisc - it's just not happening guys
I want you
I want you to want me
I want a law that makes men who spit on the sidewalk have to lick it up
I want to party like it's 1999
I want a bottomless cup of coca cola and clean bathrooms at truck stops
I want you to tell me the truth
I want to be able to see the stars better in New York City
I want people to stop trying to sell me things over the phone
I want to see more men wearing nailpolish
I want some more of that
I want everyone to stop saying "Dude"
I want everyone to start saying "Fuck right off!" - today
I want to know what love is
I want you to show me
I want people to start eating more cheese
I want to live in a world where rock stars don't have to die to prove
anything
I want to know what your favorite fairy tale is
I want candy
I want some extra hands so I can get more stuff done
I want to come up with a new amusement park ride that feels like you're on
really good drugs but doesn't make you want to throw up afterwards
I want more rock and less talk
I want to understand the appeal of White Castle hamburgers, because they
taste like turds on a bun
I want to take a nap
I want cab drivers to start wearing deodorant
I want network anchors to stop with the cute perky hairdos
I want to see anchors in afros, corn-rows, dreadlocks and big-assed wigs - go
wild!
I want to get off here
I want people to stop saying words like "user" and "interface"
I want someone to play with
I want women's magazines to stop making me feel so bad about everything and
instead run stories like "You're fabulous! Don't change"
I want to boogie-oogie-oogie till we just can't boogie no more
I want someone to develop stamps that actually taste good
I want you to just leave me alone
