i woke up in the middle of the night and went back to sleep.
i dreamed i was at place where there was outdoors, like a state park with cottages. I took my place on a pew like bench and i then was escorted to a hospital bed. my attendant was a youngish man in his 30s who attended to me and then left. I was there with a clipboard of paperwork and Patty Catusi (who was my best friend at age 12-13)
in the dream, i was terminally ill and i was planning for my own death. I filled in the paperwork and took off my rings and earrings. I noted those were the earrings that i wear everyday (gold Hoops) i remember the ring being but in a small box and i asked for them to be given to my neices. I kept filling out the paperwork and i wanted my mother .she appeared and i informed her that i wanted to be dressed in black pants and in a new Top that was maroonish and buttoned with cloth buttons. she didnt need to put a white teeshirt under this jacket.
i then got the part of the application that listed my arrangement for my funeral and i realized that i had not planned my funeral. I needed to do the work in planning and what sort of funeral. Being terminally ill, in the dream, but not sick, i decided that i can delay my death til i get sick and when i became sicker and sicker, i can always call for my own euthenasia.. I decided that i wanted to postpone being put to death.
i didnt really fear it but had some slight anxiety.
i woke up and wanted to get back to the dream.
it was a serene place with other people who were doing the same thing all around me. I remember being moved on the gurney from one room to another as i moved through the process.
______________
i think that the dream is a culmination of the recent surgery and process of healing and operation that i have been through.
