Monday, January 16, 2006

wake

i went to Louis Bianco Sr, my neighbors wake yesterday. it was on 9th and 4th ave. so i walked over. i walked 3 miles and was listening to MOrtal City. I heard Family when i came up the block to the funeral home and had to shut off the player. Louis had been diagnosed with lung cancer about a year ago. his family tried holistic approaches, chemo, spiritual healing but the cancer ate away at his body and before xmas and new years he started failing. Last week, he gained some strength and then lost all major organ functioning. He was in hospice since last tuesday. He was surrounded by all his family and asked his wife and only daughter to let him go.
his wife was asked if she wanted him clean shaved and they shaved off his mustache that he has had for 20 years.

it all made me think of how we must live our life and how we must make it count. It also made me think of finally putting a will together and making my instructions clear.

without a partner or companion or husband at this point in my life, i have to make sure that my sister knows what exactly i want and what to do with my remains and my belongings. i have been thinking about my will for a while and started to procur a lawyer to create a will.

louis left a 24, 19 year old and 7 year old son. the neighbors were there and i couldnt really pay my respect to the body but rather realized wakes are for the living. As a jew who doesnt have wakes, i didnt have the nerve to look at the body.

it was sad to see the family and neighbors paying respect to this simple man.

i would rather remember him as he was on the block. helping the kids, walking with his son, caring for the older women like mothers. He was a hard working man who was committed to his wife and family. he would do what ever you asked of him, if he could help you. They werent wealthy and many times just got by. His nephew brian captured it for me. He was a good honest man, a good provider and good father and husband. He was honest and caring. they were very rich....