not every day is a good day. some days are better than others. Tuesday, i was waiting impatiently for a UPS delivery of cds and rather than one little box, i got two boxes. The second was a larger box from dean and deluca full of goodies from a far off friend. the box was called... HELP IS ON THE WAY... i opened it up and took out the graham crackers, the nuts, the chocolate, the caramel pieces, the mints and the popcorn...all sweet treats..
i went for a long walk and came home and got dressed to go to manhattan. I got to where i was going on time and went to the Dar show... it was a great show..
i left the show feeling a little let down.. i was starting to feel badly or hurt because i didnt get an acknowledgment or response that i lost my job. i thought the people i told would have had a response. I scratched my head and thought maybe they were just too self absorbed to acknowledge it. I headed toward the train and i was getting upset.. I brushed it off and went to the train station. while eating an apple on the platform, my name was called. It was Kristin from teh Chapin list who lives in brooklyn and goes to brooklyn college. Seems she was coming from a play reading..
she will be leaving the city at the end of the school year for a great job in sarasota.
we talked about the theater until our stop....its weird..4 million people in manhattan and i run into people i know all the time..
i went to sleep late and woke up early. I find that i enjoy sleeping unless i start to have startling dreams. I am actually very tired and havent caught up on my resting. there is a underlying anxiety that i have been wrestling iwth this week
yesterday, i decided to take advantage of the beautiful weather and go to the seaport. I guess i was anxious about being near ACS and i was craving an ice cream cone. I gave up on the cone and walked up to 14th street. I got tired and bored and unfortunately ate too many chip from whole foods. I seldom eat chips but they had blue corn chip samples. I also ate apples and peaches. maybe i should have had the icecream cone..
i came home and couldnt figure out what i wanted so i ate a bit of everything and too much of everything... i finally went to bed and slept well..
i woke up to the sound of the garbage trucks outside my window and went back to sleep. i was having a positive dream that i cant remember because it was replaced by a dream where
i was a house parent or in charge of 4 teens. 2 of which were my neices. They told me that 2 more were added. I went to meet these new residents...they were blonde and tall and had quilted embroidered coats. They wanted to go to manhattan. I told them that they could WALK to manhattan they were not happy about it. I woke up when the manager of the house, told me that Mark INformed her that i was not authorized to be in the building so i had to register to be allowed in the building...she didnt make it seem like a problem. In the dream, i was covering or not telling that job that i was not at CMS anymore and they found out and it wasnt a problem, i just was no longer authorized to be there so i had to get authorization.
i woke up spooked and i am not really rested..
i have not woke rested in teh last few days. being out of work, is starting to takes its toll...
i started to get bored because the weather is great and i am trying not to spend money or conserving money so i want to be out but not doing things that would cost me money...
and im just tired...
